I had to somehow visit a friend who flew to a dermatovenerological hospital. The hospital complex was located on a huge area and surrounded by a high fence. I go to the right, to the closest gate - those on the castle.
I go to the left, again the gate at the castle. I understand that somewhere, of course, there are open doors, but how to get to them sooner? Here, I see, a boy in hospital clothes on the other side of the fence stands up, looking at something. I ask him:
How can I get here faster?
He looked at me with sad eyes and said:
Write a phone.

On a hot day, I went to the river to drink. But I didn’t come, I got drunk before.

The real admin cat whispers like this: urlll, urlll, urlll

xxx: shame - our admin has brought an aska.

Remember, here people talked about fun tasks from the collection of tasks on physics by the author Stepanova G.N. So here... You can find this collection and open the topic "Body Pulse".
You can read anecdotes.

For example, 394: Artillery fires so that the nucleus hits the enemy camp. (Even xD) At the moment the nucleus flies out of the cannon, Baron Munchausen sits on it, and therefore the nucleus falls, not reaching the target. What part of the road will Munchausen have to walk to get to the enemy camp? ..."

xxx: what are you doing?
Yyy: I take the trees
XXX The Tree? from where?! to
yyy: all over the office I clean the register from the pale cristmastree.exe

The case with me at the university. I sit, bored, from nothing to do started with big letters, a red bright marker to write on the A4 sheets all kind of shit and show those who are sitting far away, so that the teacher did not notice... wrote a lot of different inscriptions ranging from compliments to fellow students, ending with the inscription "Open!" and a lot of all kinds of things.
Seeing him slowly approaching me, I sharply turned all the leaflets with inscriptions down and sat down with a clever look.
He: What are you doing?
I: Nothing Victor Sergeevich. I listen to the lecture.
And then he turns one of the sheets on which the big fat font "What do you see?"
Rjać waves rotted around the audience)Sam pred rotted to tears=)

We were reworking the stand in the toilet... the next day, without even doing a hole... I was sitting in the toilet and the neighbor went through the floor.
The neighbor struggles like a whirlwind)))) I didn't stand to start roasting))))))
The neighbor: who is this?? to
I: the toilet fairy!!!!)))))))
Then I was ashamed to go out. ?

A brother of a friend, a student of 4th grade of the medical institute, found a cat on the street and, not thinking long, took it with him to McDonald's, came to the kitchen and dropped them a cat.
All of them wept, and he said, “This is the last one I bring to you!”

Description of the film:
" Attention to you! The film contains frank scenes, censorship and fragments of violence! Children up to 17 years of age must attend their parents!

Mnu: Shob fucking the whole family at once.

My daughter is five years old.In kindergarten she is a very mobile child.The teacher grit to her: You will behave badly, I will put everything to my mom and she will punish you.
“Aunt, if you tell your mom, you’ll get both of my daddy’s...