Do you need a parrot?
What kind of breed? The wave?
A small loud. It behaves like $&b.
well suited for the position of middle-level manager in RU (regional management)
or the headquarters apartment. I scream a lot, a lot, so little!

Reality is more funny than fiction. The X5 retail group, which is owned by Peterochki, Perekrösky and Karuseli, is registered in the Netherlands, a NATO member. Add to this picture patriotic rhetoric, struggle with foreign influence – and the joke is ready.

From OpenNet:
These poor bicycle lovers just never tried to ride the morning park in a jeep!

I like to talk to Chinese people on AliExpress.
I bought my younger brother a robot designer on a solar battery. I write to the seller in the comments to the order, whether he does not have another battery, or if his brother lost it. Answer: "Take a picture of the detail you want, we’ll see if we have one". Take a picture, Bro, the lost detail!

xxx: A newly born joke - how many айтишников is needed to switch a server to another subnet?
The answer is: xxx. Two testers, two engineers and an admin.
Testers need but they don’t know, engineers know but they can’t. And admin let everyone into the server.

The first day of work after the holidays. Everyone in their corner in the grave silence works.
To the edge tired without a back-thinking I give out on exhalation "sap, two o’clock!..." And from every corner the male bass is no less joyful "mormormormormormormoor".
And again a minute of grave silence, and after it the verdict: "No one should know about it".

From the comments in morena_morana:

I remember my now deceased mother-in-law at over fifty years of age discovered PSP for herself. Because Sanya never offered her to play, and she didn’t want to. One day he complained that his partner on some toy merged from the evening game. I’m joking, and you call my mom. She says she does not want. I clarify: did you ask her?
I realized that my mom wanted it very much. And after half an hour in the woods crushed Sashkin's persians. Sanya then hid from her mother even the joystick.

I work from eight in the morning. I leave the house, respectively, at seven with a penny. The morning fees are worked out to a second and everything is done without thinking about it.

I go out and I realize I’m asleep. I had to go out in the dog’s wound, and around there was light. I thought for a moment, how did I get up at the alarm...

In general, I realized that spring came and the light day increased.

I usually sleep at home with my wife and my cat. Yesterday I slept with a cat at work. A feeling of guilt for both of them.

Judging by the discussions on Facebook, Europe has been captured by refugees.
And Russia is labyrinth.

from recently:
In the lobby, the grandmother in a dress angrily tells the tube about the kejual-child. In the first act begins a scandal with the same in the dress because of the fact that she is poorly visible. The decibels are growing, and the whole floor is heard better than the artists. Those asking to stop are sent such words and twists - the port girls would be jealous. What is characteristic, both not only without the most overwhelming men, but even without friends. In the entrance they were the first in the line for the lottery, in the second act they were picked up by the theater worker. The room was not full and everyone could just sit around. Naturally, both ran behind their shoes without bothering themselves with applause.
MHT, The Last Victim

My father told me that when he was a little boy, the idol of the boys in their village was some Ivanych. He often told that during the war he worked for the legendary pilot Pokryshkin as a cockerel. The father remembered one story, says this hero, that we are flying out of the clouds with Pokryshkin, and there are two German messershmidts, but Pokryshkin was not distracted, turned the back and back into the clouds. Everyone believed him.

The Gods of Marketing:
No matter who you are, no matter where you are, you are my God, I will help you solve all your problems.

The store. He threw into the cart of products on the list, took the turn to the box office.

There is a strange couple in front of me. A girl and a boy, both about thirty. Neither to give nor to take are anorexic ghosts.

By the conversation, I realized that their unloading days have ended and now you can surrender to eating! A couple of salads, soup with grasses.

I, abstracted from the picture, perceived it all as a background until I heard behind me:

Their mother! What is E@Uzz?! to
and licking! How how? Have fun with the bones!

About theaters and jeans: now this is shown in theaters that it is not even clear what to go there - jeans and sweaters are too chaffy and old-fashioned to start to appear!

We walked well. They brought no one home to him. His mother opened it, stared at him, calmly breathed, calmly said:
Get into the room what to do here.
was pulled. put in bed. I helped remove the jacket. Here the body wakes up, looks at the mother and with great difficulty says:
Sorry, I’m drinking too much, can I stay with you?
Shut up!! The mother of the most powerful skin sends the body to the knock-out and everything is also calm: guys, thank you for the help.
The next day, Andrew asks:
The boys! Whose face does it hurt? What is red? Who did I fight with yesterday?
Yes, with a woman alone. She has cut you off! :)
– What what?With which woman? With which? With which? Everyone then interrogated us.

I decided to change the door. In the store, two consultant girls immediately clinged to me and began to praise the door, with special fanaticism relying on the fact that as a gift I will get an absolutely amazing bulletproof eye. The further dialogue:
I: Is the door canvas also bulletproof?
They are O_O!No, and why do you?
I: That is, in case of an armed attack, will I be guaranteed to have only my right eye?
They burst into something like, “You need to ask the elderly,” and they fled into the light, leaving me alone with thoughts about the eye.

Do you go to the theater to see what other people are wearing?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Do you want to go to the subway to smell what other people are wearing? I asked Uncle Vasya.
— — —
It is not the same. In the theatre, everyone (well, all the suitable people, at least) is a poofy, you are in jeans or in a dress. If you do not make noise or disturb the artists, you do not cause any inconvenience. The unpleasant smell of bomb in the car is another matter. And not just bombs :)

First you are quiet. A man with whom you work bought a car for 600 thousand dollars, then in Turkey with his wife lost, his wife shirt and bought an iPhone. And it would be nothing if you were not a little higher position and a little higher salary. And he tells me, you have to be able to earn money, and his parents (by the way, he has a mother and everything) are not involved.

Well you sit, you think, you are looking for a place to work, because there is no extra money anyway. And then once - and this guy comes to the courts and everything gets to its place.

Good news comes from where we are not. That is understandable and logical.