A story from my real past.
A biology lesson.
Before the beginning, everyone leaves the notes, because the teacher at the beginning of the lesson usually conducts a flash survey on the previous topic.
The call.
The Teacher:
Similarities and differences between human and human-like monkey.
The classmate:
I have similarities, I have no differences.
They crashed together with the teacher.
The survey was broken.

His grandfather (colonel, combat officer) had a daylight on May 9, his wife was born on February 29. My Uncle (their son) - October 7 (Constitution Day, who remembers, old). The holiday was cancelled, his sister came to the forefront, my mother - with her D/R on June 28 (the day of the constitution in Ukraine, where we are unhappy to live). Her husband, my dad, is right on March 8. I personally have a daylight on January 1.
When I married a man who was born on Easter (just the year of his birth coincided) and, having given birth to a daughter on September 1, I called a friend and the date, I heard a whisper and the phrase "Don't P*di!", from all unoccupied holidays in the year, count back 9 months and be extremely careful these days.
I’m for what... I’m also a senior lieutenant. And the dream of an idiot was fulfilled - I was given a female shaving foam yesterday!! to

Here people see dreams, curious, and dreams people see?

In Poland. Large line in the store. One man is trying to get in without a turn. Aunt standing at the beginning says to him:
Lord, let it end up!
The man looks at her and says:
If you are such a chicken, let it be on the chicken!

But I wonder, I thought here... Putin also has a work book, right? How is it written there? :) "Position - the President of the Russian Federation"Adopted such a number, dismissed such a number... And the next inscription "Position - the Prime Minister of the Russian Federation" :) Blow, well, somehow it is being issued there, right? :) Does anyone know?

Putin had a plush bear as a child. Putin has grown.
Bear is also HD

I wondered what was better: a girl or a pet?? to
I’m the one you like to fuck...
Nothing has been cut so... oh

Grandma told me.
We then lived in Vladimir, and I set up a factory in Moscow and we moved to Tsaritsino. I didn’t know how to go, but they told me, ‘You’re going to the stop, you’re going to the 37th tram and you’re going to the ‘FABRIC’ stop. It was winter and there were heavy frosts. I came to the stop and began to count: the first tram, the second, the third... When I approached the 37th, I was already in order, but I still arrived. That’s what we were, grandchildren".
Grandma, I love you!

In response to:

You are happy! Here’s the pen for the shave, you think... And nobody congratulated me. Even though I am a pilot. Only the commander of the SMS'ku sent. It is funny, right?
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I sincerely congratulate you on your holiday! It is very unfortunate that this happens: they often congratulate those who have no relationship to this holiday, and forget about the military. Thank you Defender!

Women’s logic, women’s logic... We sit with my ex today, we drink coffee. We were separated a long time ago, but now we are friends.
He worries how it happened that we broke up.
I: We broke up because you called me a prostitute and said it was over between us, sweetheart.
He says: You are a fool! I should have understood what this means "I love you!"

Three girls in the kitchen.
1: Behold, I have a small asus breath, the windscreen on it is dead...
Can I put Ubuntu on you? It is very simple, there is OpenOffice instead of Word, you will quickly master it!
How do you know so much about computers? When did you learn this?
You know, I didn’t have sex for a year.

(Viewed in the ZJ)

My right hand is a mouse, and my left hand is playing with my right hand. It’s good to be a girl, but

My girlfriend has a whistle on a secret relationship (so that no one knows about us). We’ve been dating for 10 months, and she’s never even kissed me on the street >_<
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It is not a whisper. That means you are not alone with her. Bring it to the best – maybe this guy will see and see. Sadly the guy.

The spammers. Stop sending messages from other people’s names. Please please.
I am 19 years old. A few days ago my classmate died.
And in "my world mail" I got spam from this girl’s mail. I almost sat down — for a moment I thought she was alive, and it was all a bad joke. And when I realized that I was spamming... I still walk like a whipped one.
Sorry for reading this, but please bring it. The story I’ve told is absolutely true, and I don’t want anyone to experience it. Apologize again.

Uranus: Do you want to read other people’s SMS? First increase the penis by 10 centimeters!!! to

Poncha: Diana, how do you feel about friendly sex?
Dian4ik: yeee... negative
Poncha: (( (((
Poncha: What do you think about hostile sex?

In our country it is necessary to organize a holiday for the victims of the police, court officers and other defenders: Day of defense from the Fatherland.

Gentlemen car enthusiasts, please explain to me why some of you, when standing on the light, slowly, a couple of centimeters, move closer and closer to the crossroads, thus moving further and further on the zebra? Is it possible to light the light faster, or is it possible to leave the light faster? Explain please.

and

This planet is rotating beneath us – so strongly we press on the brake at this time.

x: - fucking, packed a whole pack of condoms
Eeee... in a good sense?

I read the old foreign fantasy "Space Odyssey 2001" released in 1968, there is a shorter human colony on Mars and two bases on the Moon, and here on the way on a passenger plane to one of the lunar bases a man reads newspapers from an electronic tablet reads all the newspapers of the world, and dreams that one day on these tablets you can watch video.
That is, the lunar base is a hernia... but here is the navy.