bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109863
 25.02.2015
Is it strange to me alone? To gather a bunch of Maidan in the country so that there is no Maidan?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №109862
 25.02.2015
Picabu, the post on the work on the nuclear icebreaker.
xxx: I am 24 years old, soon 25, I am a freelancer, I want to immediately give up everything and go to work on the icebreaker (
Fuck, the same shit.
Let’s recycle the ship, sail to Tortuga, pick up a team and mow the ice on the sea.
Do you need your black soul?
Zzzz: My tears turned around. Indicate the port where we will meet and I will join you, no matter what it costs me, gentlemen!
QQQ: I think it is port 80

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109861
 25.02.2015
The theater director told me. There is a children’s show. Somewhere in the middle of the action temporarily defeated all the main villain under epic music proudly goes on stage and so harshly asks the hall: "Well, children? Who am I?" A break of second 3, a 5-year-old boy jumps on his feet in the hall and enters the whole hall with outrage: "You are HAVE!!!!!!!and "
The show they finished, but the artist now every time in this place tries not to roast.))))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109860
 25.02.2015
Marina (tech support): when will Sasha eat inf?
Call him...
Marina (tech support): the girl should not call first

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109859
 25.02.2015
Almost all girls want to get married. Well, there, the shelf will hang the husband, clean the sewer etc. And I even swallowed my own eyes. Why do I have a husband?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109858
 25.02.2015
Video surveillance cameras in the Moscow metro will teach you to remember the “country”
- now the cameras will greet them - "baaaah, acquainted lyujuidi!!! andquot;

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №109857
 25.02.2015
The recipe:
I am a woman, but I can’t be silent here. My husband also has a size slightly larger than the average, and I have to buy the size xxl. Yes, they are longer in length, but in width they are narrow and everything is stretched there and really not to sex. Even if you buy those that cost 700r for one piece.
------------
Set up a spiral and remove it from the site.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109856
 24.02.2015
My wife said I was stupid.and (
XX: I decided to prove that I could give out something smart at least once.
If the wife did not satisfy her husband by refusing him, then there is a high probability that the husband will be satisfied by the mistress.
XXX I am stupid.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109855
 24.02.2015
*** by
Do you know how to use a computer?
Or maybe.
- Then I will write "Operator PC".
Moral: A representative of any unknown profession in the army morphes into a PC operator.

— — —
My soldier :
What was finished?
Ulyanov State Technical University
- means "PC Operator"
Why suddenly?! to
The Technical University!
There are six faculties, including economics and finance and my humanities with specialization in public relations.
- Well, communications means "operator PC"!
Do you have the option "translator"?
- Yes, "translator of the military press".
Write a translator.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109854
 24.02.2015
Announcement of work on the illustrator website:"Duty: Creation of graphic calashes". So how?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109853
 24.02.2015
My mom wakes me up this morning. The dog wants something from me. I asked for some reason that she wanted a multi-dimensional analysis. And I hz, what, we haven’t gone through yet.
As a result, a simple temporary transfer of the base was enough for him.
XX: Do you think I should be less engaged in matan?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109852
 24.02.2015
Hijack: Kevin, did you shave? You are coming! You look so young! I went straight to meet and thought, who is this unknown boy? Thirty seven years?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109851
 24.02.2015
How can I think about a gift??? A gift to a loved one is simple.
You just need to know who he is and what he loves.
Your husband (for example) wears a beard and is bald. This is almost all options are cancelled: and foams, and shavers, and shampoos with hernia-blindness)))"
wax for the beard (if it is, for example, a beard), for any man will pick his cosmetics
T-shirt (large space from the cage of the flanel, to the hawaiian)
3. flashes, bowls or other expenditure for a hobby
4 Multiple
5 The belt
The desired manual tool (there is no such thing as everything - it needs a conduction detector, a screwdriver, clock screws or something else of interest)
Name of cake or cake
The Big Cactus
A beautiful photo album of his interests (castles, knives, cars, bridges, cheeses...)
Adventure - trip on the BTR, flight in the aerotube
Set of grills
12th Bathroom
Thirteen dogs
Collective beer
The Massage Pillow
The 16th tube
17th pledge
Prepare everything for a beer party and go shopping for n-three hours.
Romance in which he loves manifestations
Maika-toll with a suitable inscription (picture)
21. what is missing in his collection of Asprin (Steinbeck, Donzova)
You can’t choose a gift – you just don’t know who you’re living with.
This is wasted.
It’s not good to be selfish in a relationship (in any relationship)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109850
 24.02.2015
This is:
-
Let her hold your hand and fuck you. I am the owner of the "happy" 20 cm and 6 in range. Condoms are set, it is, but! First, large tires slip from me in the process. Secondly, the standard tight, shit. It pushes, and somehow does not get sex. Well, plus, on average, larger members have a worse sensitivity, so ‘smelling roses through the glass’ is about me. In general, for me, the presence of a condom means the absence of sex.
Maybe I am doing something wrong?
______
Buy Gandons not in a bar for 10 p. but in the pharmacy and from 200 p.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109849
 24.02.2015
A forum about anecdotes.

XXX is:
Office at 9 p.m.
Two paired accountants prepare an annual report.
One pulls off the monitor and asks the other:
How many months in the year?
and A? What?
Months in the year?
10 without VAT.

YYY :
All 6 days ago ZZZ already told and all the accountants even had time to exchange opinions.

NNN is 5. Without VAT.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109848
 24.02.2015
My cat eats my liver.
YYY: is it yours?
xxx: not
My liver eats my vodka.)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109847
 24.02.2015
A reduced working day should not be done before the holiday, but after it. Reduced from the morning.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №109846
 24.02.2015
Trapped in the dining room at work, felt very bad, could not go home on public transportation, called a taxi.

The taxi driver, like most of his colleagues, turned out to be a big fan of the topic of "How to arrange Russia".I am not able to participate in the conversation, but he does not have an interlocutor, and the audience will come together. Exactly at the moment when he moves to the question of “That’s all that shrimp” I squeezed and whisper “Stop!” and “Good, we’re on the extreme lane,” I jump out on the sidelines and blow under the bush. As I sit back in the car, the uncle with sincere repentance on his face declares, “Girl, you would say so immediately that you dislike this topic!”

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №109845
 24.02.2015
The shame:

Nat: Did you hear that in Kaliningrad on Maslenica Obama’s chicken was burned?
Winnisepu: Well, let’s check the effectiveness of the harsh Slavic Vudu.

This behavior is no better than the behavior of Arab Babouins, when they burn the American flag and then dance on it, shooting in the air from calashes. America from such a gesture is neither hot nor cold, but the opinion of you is formed as primitive savages from the Tumba-Yumba tribe.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109844
 24.02.2015
from corporate correspondence.
Operator 7756: Application for removal of an employee. It is necessary to remove the employee with this code from the list of operators, employee number 7759.
Technical Support: All has been removed.
Technical Support Officer: Number 7756, all right?

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