The problem of all post-USSR countries is in following traditions: the ideology governs the economy, and the ideology is ruled by idiots.

Letter from the Army:

Dear Mom and Dad!! to
I am fine, I hope you too. Tell my brothers that serving in the Marines under contract is much more interesting than we do in the village. Let them serve.
It’s not four in the morning, but six in the morning. It was hard at first, but I almost like to get up so late. Tell Sasha and Kolka that before breakfast you just need to fill the bed and put it in order - you don't have to feed cattle, cut wood, burn the stove, carry water, cook food. There is hot water here.
For breakfast they give a lot of delicious - juice, flour, butter, butter - but there is no normal food - flour with oil and real milk, so I don't always eat. But you can always sit between two city guys who only drink coffee. Their portions and mine are enough until lunch. The towns are so weak.
There are also “marches.” The officer said it was for training. If he thinks so, I do not mind. "March-throw" is about like we go from home to store, but those throws are once a week, not so you mom sent me to the store every day. After that, the city guys fall with wiped legs and take us back in a truck. The area is not bad, but too flat.
A sergeant is like a teacher in school, sometimes cries. Captain is the director of the school. Major and colonels, as the chairman of the council, binge, and in their free time are mostly busy with their affairs and do not touch us.
Sacha and Kolka will die of laughter, but I’m the best shooter here. I don’t know why – targets are almost the size of a wolf, but they don’t run and don’t have to shoot. All you have to do is lie on the coat more comfortably and shoot! You do not even need to fill the ammunition with powder and crush - they are brought ready. Every month they give money, called a contract salary. A month is given, as in the village in 4 months. And there is also a store and spices in it are fresh and they do not need to be soaked and the sausage turns out to be pink instead of green.
Let Sasha and Kolka hurry up until no one knows what the hole is here!
P.S I send you 5000 rubles. to repair the sarai and toothpaste.
Her daughter Galina.

Coronavirus, as scientists have found, causes death mostly in people over the age of 65. Not a virus, but just a dream of the Pension Fund!

I have a friend – a taxi driver, periodically complaining that customers run away without paying.

We were on a trolleybus today, our stop, I go to the front door (we have payment at exit, the driver), and my friend quietly goes out through the middle door, without paying.

I asked him why he did so, and he answered me, "Save - consider earned." Gothenburg morality is damn damn.

I live in Peru (South America, who does not know).

Apartment on the 4th floor of a private. On the 1st floor live the owners, on the 2nd - their adult children (but rarely, not always), on the 3rd floor, below us - a family of locals, Peruvians, they have two children. The boy is older, 7 years old, and the girl is quite small, 3-4 years old.

In general, sometimes, the girl has a desire to cry, even just raise. It happens on Sunday morning or evening, anyway. Well, if it starts, it voices loudly, long and long enough – an hour or two can be.It is heard very well, penetrating, even when the windows are closed (and we have a window out into the "common" well. When the windows are open (and given the climate, they have to be opened), the hearing is generally nearby, like above the ear.

I then understand that a child just grows up and faces a terrible reality: all people are mortal, they are sick, they are not always good, they are boring, and other problems of human existence. I really understand her and may even be wrapped up with her sometimes.

I am generally neutral to screaming, fighting, crying children from other apartments - I can even fall asleep under this accompaniment.

Interestingly, my wife is upset by this wild. She can’t even stand for two minutes. He is angry, angry, and nervous. Even threatening actions (well, nonsense, in fact) like going, complaining to the masters.

For the journey, it is unclear that the parents of the child do not take any action to reassure the daughter (it would be heard), maybe they put her in the corner (horror, such a small one), or maybe they go somewhere out of the apartment.

But, it is true, especially the epic and most annoying wrath occurs in the morning, at 5-6.

I just wake up from him pleased - here, the child just woke up and felt the horror of this life, well just like me! The world is terrible, the world is unfair.

Here is. But I, purely out of sympathy for the child, found a way to improve her mood.

I open the window that leads to the well and turn on sacred music. I make the sound louder than enough for me personally. This is a friendship broadcast.

The most unforgettable compositions are:

Songs of the group "Commissar": "You'll Go", "Adrenaline" and "The Snow Queen", and in general, all of their hits. The song of the Ukrainian band "Fantom-2" - "I will reach".

I listen – and after a second of sounding – the child is silent. After a little pumping with soul music (even 2-3 songs are enough), the girl doesn’t whine at all for a long time, until a week somewhere.

If the official does not have enough money to open his own business, he will close someone else’s.

One day, my wife and two children went to a store. The younger was 5 years old and the older was 8. The younger son was constantly asking for candy, and I said that if he doesn’t stop, I’ll go back to the past and take the candy I gave him yesterday. But then the elder said I couldn’t do that. For a while I was in panic, but then I knew what to do. I closed my eyes, kept silent, and then asked:
Remember the chocolate you ate yesterday?
What is? I didn’t eat a baton yesterday.
That’s it, son, that’s it!

Elections and elections!
The cable went into p#dora!

One day, my wife and two children went to a store. The younger was 5 years old and the older was 8. The younger son was constantly asking for candy, and I said that if he doesn’t stop, I’ll go back to the past and take the candy I gave him yesterday. But then the elder said I couldn’t do that. For a while I was in panic, but then I knew what to do. I closed my eyes, kept silent, and then asked:

Remember the chocolate you ate yesterday?

What is? I didn’t eat a baton yesterday.

That’s it, son, that’s it!

Any ingenuity will quickly sink to the iron head of a fool.

My sister here believed in karma:

Ekaterinburg, somewhere in the area of Moscow get into a good traffic jams on the resuscitation car. Inside the guy is about to go to the light that the doctor that the driver has already switched completely to the mat, the cars are like missing, but the time is still wasted. One car is left in front of the lighthouse, and does not miss (the camera, if anything, there was not yet), the doctor (my sister) runs to the car, trying to explain the situation, which gets a mountain of humming up, such as doctors in the bowl decided to go with flashes, but a man understands that it is, and will not let you break the rules. The boy was transported to the hospital alive and seemed to be drowned.

After a few months they are given a direction, and they are well so late, in the apartment already a corpse, and a bunch of screams that we will go to the prosecutor's office, and you a capeç and other things... The loudest of all is the man, the sister looks at him and realizes that this is the man who did not miss their car. I approached him and just stood looking at him, after a few minutes he seemed to remember her, because he silenced everyone at home, and went out to conduct the brigade. There were no statements.

A brief description of the Yukos case:
The Komsomolists pressed off oil from the people.
The Chechens pressed off oil from the Komsomol.
Now the people, for their oil, must pay 50 billion dollars to the Komsomol.
The result: the Komsomolers have 50 billion, the Chekists have oil, and the people have no money.
This is a multiplayer!

The employee flew to India for two weeks. The aircraft.

They ate what they ate at the airport dining room.

He says:

"If I used to treat curry exactly, then now my smell turns away from it.

What is? A lot of scratches?

And not only. There, even in the toilets, curry smells more than shit. For me, this is an indistinguishable smell.

The Pyramid

As a child, I was often punished, mostly for poor education. Most often the punishment was reduced to the fact that my parents took something valuable from me, such as a console or a computer. I think for many people the situation is familiar. I remembered a few moments from that time, I want to share with you:





One day, I was removed from my computer’s electric cable. Of course the punishment is tough, but very soon I figured out that the cable from the printer is absolutely the same. He turned off the speaker in the system and played at night without sound when everyone was asleep. One day I was stabbed during a game, and I was a lot crazy.



2) When I had the first Internet dialect I discovered for myself MMO games, namely Lineage 2. Sitting during the day with an hourly payment was expensive, so we bought a ROL 300 card and could play peacefully from 2am to 8am. But I was of course not enough time, especially if I was planning a raid on the boss. Therefore, from 8 in the morning, I was already on the network through the expensive Volga Telecom. And in a month, a small amount of something like 500 rubles went on. For comparison, for 500 rubles in a computer club you could buy 10 nights and not get out of there for a third of a month. A solid money at the time, especially for the child. For a while I was hiding the receipt to pull off the pistols, but as you know, the hour of payment has come. I was long and colorfully, and then in front of my eyes solemnly cut off the phone cable from the modem. In the evening of the same day, I wrapped both ends of the cable with a lighter, cleaned them and made hooks on both sides. To access the internet, I simply connected the cable with hooks, and then disconnected them so that parents couldn’t see. The scheme was successful, nobody knew that I was using the Internet so only at the end of the month again came the account, to remember scary )))



3) Played a lot of seagues on a small video pair in his room. After the parental gathering, the parents took the control of the TV. I don’t remember all the nuances, but you could watch TV without the controller, but you couldn’t turn on the seaga or watch a video tape. In general, I just took the controller from the TV in the neighboring room – they turned out to be compatible. Then I got caught and hid all the controls from me. I took the controller from a friend, turned on the default console mode and took the controller back. Now it was enough to turn on the TV and you could play. My parents soon noticed this trick. They set up something like a child mode, buttons on the TV itself stopped working, and a four-digit password was asked when it was turned on. I couldn’t play anymore, but I found a way to look at the sight. The fact is that it was not a regular TV, but a video pair (view + TV, two in one) and if you insert a cassette there, the TV automatically turned on and the playback began. There were a number of restrictions - the tape can not be wrapped, you can not add sound, put on a pause, and to turn off, you need to pull the TV out of the socket. I removed the cassettes before watching a friend at the beginning, but how I pulled them out I can't remember exactly. In my opinion, after the end of the film, they moved to the beginning and automatically flung out. My parents burned me on the fact that when I switched off the TV from the socket - the time and date were broken))).



Even my electronic clock was hidden from me. They were trapped in a barnet with a code lock, the code from the barnet was two-digit. I picked up that code. I sat down and dumbly tried 1-1 - wrong, 1-2 - wrong, 1-3 - wrong until I found the right combination.



This is no longer about parents, but about the computer club. There was an app cover above the screw that allowed you to run the games, but it was impossible to get out to the desktop. Thus e. We saw the labels of the games and everything, nothing else could be done, protection from the scattering pen. And sometimes I wanted, for example, to watch a movie, wrestle music, or copy missing maps in Contra. In general, if you run the game Starcraft 1 and choose a card editor there, then you can actually open the wire and already through it to copy or run the necessary files.



6) We also had a phone "RUS" with a number identifier, the first thing I did - added to the blacklist the number of the class leader, he he he)))

I recently changed the sound of notifications on my phone. Now instead of the usual “day-day” I have “This is the turn!” of the robot.

So here.

I call a taxi to work. I sit in the car and go. Ironically, on one of the lights, a taxi driver turns to the left and I get a message. The taxi driver shocked me:

Is that what the navigator says? ! to

and yes. The castle sound.

At the next turn, he turns and looks at me with anticipation. and silence.

Why didn’t I say it now?

You turned too smoothly.

One familiar entrepreneur, was married, without children, then divorced, had a heavy divorce with a murder and an attempt to set fire to his apartment, which turns out to be impossible to share, since it was bought before marriage. While everything was stretched, the competitors did not sleep and ruined the business. Well, he did not cry, went to work and already at work met another woman, also divorced from the child, or rather she met him. They met, love-carrot and somewhere after three or four months began to live together in his apartment. They lived quietly, she resigned from work to do "their" son. “They” was what she said. He is a real father, and he is just a donor and a donor.



Well, they lived quietly until the moment when she came and said that she met the former on the street, did not approach him, just saw him on the street, but still "his heart crushed from memories and grief." That same evening, she called her ex and they decided to try it all over again. A child needs a father, not an uncle. She said she did decently. They had no sex with the ex, first she made the guy known, gathered things and left him. I did not cheat, in short.



The guy, of course, for some time cuddled, watched a video on this topic and decided to arrange a provocation in order to bring back the woman. I acted quite cleverly. Invited a girl model for money, took a few photos in a romantic posture and posted them on social networks. The trick was that he didn’t post photos on his page, but on a friend’s page. The photos were taken in such a way that as if this friend was photographing himself and the car, and the acquaintance pressing up with the model seemed to accidentally get into the frame.



The reaction was in the morning. A friend was called from the parking lot and told that the grandmother had thrown him a hammer. Three or four times hit the squad well, until her guard shot down in a jump, like a rugby player. Everyone came and wrote papers.



The result. Everyone considers him a goat and a donkey for forcing a woman to pay for her own ugly behavior and betrayal. A real man would repair, and not write on a woman, like rats, papers for mints. But here is the woman herself, that he is a fool and could not wait and endure until she passed through a crisis and a difficult time. Now she doesn’t even know what he has to do if he wants to get her back with “their” son.

From the World of Ultimate Online:



The first episode.

He took the kirka and went into the mine to dig the ore with all the nubes. Well, the rubber is digging, everyone is discussing something. A few hours and you have a stack of ore. You rush to the market to sell it. You get up in the middle and say, "I will sell the ore for so much." Here runs a comrade, all in glowing armor on a two-legged mountain. He says, “I’ll buy it, let’s go out for that house.” You go out of the main square to the barracks, he throws you the exchange, you put all the ore in the barracks, and he cancels the purchase, and you lack the strength or volume of your bags (I don’t remember exactly what) and the ore falls on the floor. With a sound like that, be careful. And the guy has everything prepared, there is a free place, and he catches it, calls his maun and gases. And you run after him on your two, in some brown barbecue in this marketplace and shout, “Give it back, shit! “” The guy jumps into the teleport and reminds me of what they called. Just like in life...



The second episode.

You are digging the mine in the cave again. Here, the same shit runs into the cave, spells to the exit of the wall, and says, "Rude to the floor." Everyone is throwing the mine. Sometimes the shurches try to teleport, but the PCshnik already has a shot she hits the cast, and then the head off the shoulders.



Episode Third.

I finally got on a horse. I agreed to go crawl. Go to the cave. You are like a king on a horse. In the cave to dig boring, decided to shake the hand. You get up in a stand, you start fighting, and here your horse sees this mess, and attacks the opponent. Your former associate runs across the cave from the horse and cries, “Calm the horse! “You don’t even know how to do it. In the end, the horse kills the unhappy. And you, well, what do you do, pick up the mine from his body and go to the market. We will bring friends. =) is

I don’t understand the guys who pay “ladies” to be humiliated. Man, just get married and fold the towel wrong.

It is not the leader who governs the law, but the one who governs according to the law.

(The Indian Wisdom of the People)

One of the restaurants of the fashionable Paris hotel lost its generous regular customer because of the excessive politeness of the waitress. The fact is that this client has been eating with the same companion for many years, but once came without her in the company of several men and women. The waitress polently asked about the health of the missing friend, after which one of the women grabbed the client's cheek, presenting himself as his wife.