bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №77899
 24.02.2013
<shimon> Well, there’s an idiotic idea that you need to wash your jacket so that it doesn’t look bad. with her underpinnings.
<shimon> The pad was made with artificial wort and was made in China
<shimon> In a nutshell, what was glued to the underlay was missing from the laundry
<shimon> As a result, now everything that was wiped around became with it, and the substrate was rubbed.
<shimon> The most unfortunate thing that a neighbor put in the same load to wash his jeans and little stuff like socks
<shimon> And now it’s all the same in black wort
<shimon> The washing machine was barely cleaned
<shimon> The whole bathroom was squeezed
<shimon> In general, in the morning I have to explain why from touching jeans the palms become hairy

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №77898
 24.02.2013
YouTube video about super-modern everywhere...

XXX:...Ural-Polarnik can get stuck where no no car of increased permeability will reach. The driver has the opportunity to leave the car there until winter, saving diesel fuel and motor resources, and with the onset of frosts to return on the well-known road with a powerful hook tracker.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №77897
 24.02.2013
Oh my dear, can you reinstall the window for me?
XHH: if it is necessary
Can you just ask for sex?

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №77896
 24.02.2013
It is said that the duration of the absence of sex can be determined by the length of hair on the lob.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №77895
 24.02.2013
My girlfriend doesn’t work, and I didn’t want her to spend on a gift on February 23. For this, on all her pleasures "what to give you on 23?" I denied, saying that this is an outdated holiday, it does not concern me and in general you know, I do not like gifts...
In the end, I didn’t get anything on the 23rd. On the one hand, everything is obvious and right, but now I understand that I still had a little illogical hope inside that there would still be a little bit of trouble. And that is despite the fact that I am an adult, balanced person who treats holidays exclusively as spending items!
Now I can imagine how offended girls are when they themselves refuse gifts and then really don’t get them!) This is exactly the case when "no" means "yes"

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77894
 24.02.2013
The topic of smoking
That’s why everyone forgets that everyone is different! I smoke, but I also get angry when smoking in the transitions, in public places, especially if there are children nearby... I do not do it myself, although there are many smokers and such people, but unfortunately not all!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №77893
 24.02.2013
XXX: I want to get to the Coast Chelns. By the way, where is it?
Follow the camas, they will bring you into their loophole.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №77892
 24.02.2013
in the guests. Adults are humble. The owner says:
Why do you not eat at all? Have a taste, isn’t it delicious?
A child (4,5 years old) comes out and says loudly:
You are not at home, eat what you give.
The phrase came from the garden.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77891
 24.02.2013
“Professional actors!”
A trace appears in the sky, followed by a bright flash. Voice for picture:
This is yes! What is this unknown object? I am stunned to the depths of my soul!

The main thing was forgotten: this should be said by Volodársky.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №77890
 24.02.2013
I sit in a beauty salon and wait for my turn. A huge hall. A lot of people are sitting. And at the reception on this day the telephone pipe broke and so the girl in the stand had to answer the calls by loud communication and accordingly in the waiting room all the conversations are heard)) so here is the next call and the following dialogue occurs:

Good day! This is the online store delivery service "######"
Oh yeah well!
I am your courier and I have almost found you, but I am a little lost. Please orient me. I see a big building (and suddenly very loud) Oh Fuck!!!! to
and allo! What happened to you?
Do not pay attention. I was just moved by the tram.

The whole hall was shocked by this. And when the guy found us, he obviously did not expect a warm meeting with applause, laughter and additional teas from the visitors to the salon)))

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77889
 24.02.2013
In the beauty salon a party. The girls decided to hit the nail for the painting with a full bubble of hair foam.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №77888
 24.02.2013
let your thirst for gender jerk you will be satisfying somewhere else, for this there are thousands of forums

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77887
 24.02.2013
Calex: The first people are usually given what they themselves are fascinated with.
Brejnev had cars, orders and weapons, his wife had brilliants.
And the current grey ones, not fish or meat. What can be given like this? The pyjamas in the strip.
DrMozgoved: With the number?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77886
 24.02.2013
Only the channel TNT could put on the night of February 23 movie... burn in hell :(

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №77885
 24.02.2013
Her Majesty for 2 months complained to me that because of the small s\p can not close the credit card. Asked how much she was missing, he symbolically gave her the amount. I bought my new jeans.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №77884
 24.02.2013
Please protect me xxx)
Yyy: go to bed, I’ll cover up))

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №77883
 24.02.2013
But here is another case with Varlak aka Shadow Risi)
In fact, the first time he was sitting "behind the roof" constantly, because his temperament is exclusively loving, and healthy cats on healthy food and in the fresh air gladly flow at all not like the "city" on the dry.

That is why he was isolated from the female sex in the volley. At the same time, about the appearance of the new village kitten quickly smelled and dragged overnight to the site on the subject of "and you who are." They came by 2-3, temporarily forgot about internal contradictions. Every morning, the volleyer had fresh bloody traces of decomposition “through the barracks”, and Varlak was covered with the first combat scars.

Time passed and, being the cat initially not the smallest even for the Maine Coon, Varlak slightly thickened and bored from the "sitting" way of life. And the girls decided to let him go for a free walk. First during the day and then at night.

And the first night, when Varlak did not close, was a very unpleasant surprise for local boys. They were accustomed to the fact that you could come at night, like in a movie, and tick a stranger with sticks through the roof.

At two o’clock in the night, the population was awakened by a terrible storm, first on the territory of the breeding farm, and then rapidly moving away in the direction of corn fields.
Varlak, in fact, then came only in the morning, lying out for a long time, shaking with his broken ears. He ate his piece of meat and went to bed until evening.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №77882
 24.02.2013
YY: He threatened me with suicide...I wrote him a type and you don’t think it’s good for me?)) Whoever has lost his life for me.)
XX: This is the most brilliant answer to such claims!!!! to

[ + 9 - ] Comment quote №77881
 24.02.2013
Flash: A friend told a story. They went for a friend to her home with her brother to go to the DR together. She says, sit in the living room, I’m going. And in the living room there was a cage with a rabbit, so they pulled him out to play. The rabbit, like a rabbit, was wearing in different directions, simultaneously hitting the bed, the closet, or some of the guys. "How fun!" – the guys thought. After a while, a friend enters the room and says, "You got him to the hero? He is blind!"

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №77880
 24.02.2013
Men also have their own analogue wedding dress (a dress that is worn once in life and then hangs in the closet). This is the Dembellic form.

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