bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №94454
 25.02.2014
Talk to a fellow about teaching:
XXX is shorter
XXX: We remembered his case in a couple.
Xxx: Some guy guessed the crossword
XXX was like this:
XXX: the means of communication of the partisans. Five letters, the third c.
That’s what any normal person would say.
Tagged: ration
XXX: The Bingo
XXX: Somebody else wrote it.
XXX: and the predecessor suggested to guess
xxx: what he wrote
Protect it now.
The one who guesses is the machine.
YYY: But we didn’t have that.
WOW WOW WOW WOW
Tagged: epic
Guess who has the machine.
It is logical that you have it. What word was that?
The word was a man.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №94453
 25.02.2014
to this:
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Now I will solve your problem with your friendzone, and this endless flow will end! Let's go here good guys, I will all set up: 247 261 583
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Are you the mother-in-law of a rebellious female monastery or a soldier?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №94452
 25.02.2014
The E1 Building Forum:
XX: Dear forumans and non-forumans, I propose to compile in this topic interesting and not very stories about how you saved in the process of construction, or design, or operation, well.
YYY: I had a case, I saved, the neighbor brought his armor, went home in the evening, I pulled 8 pieces from him for 11 meters he did not notice anything.
ZZZ: The main thing is that the children do not look like the neighbor, the rest will survive

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №94451
 25.02.2014
The Olive. We eat puddles, we talk about fasting soon.
The colleague:
Well, I comfort myself by the fact that strangers can not fast.
Oh well, I can’t stop. But you need to limit yourself and in sexual life.
Another colleague comes in:
I just started my sexual life, and I need to limit myself.
From the kitchen corner:
- Let us consider that we are sex travelers and we do not need to limit ourselves.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №94450
 24.02.2014
Today in the bus, a very colourful grandmother in a carapace hat and with a powerful expression of the face roasted her grandson:
Always bring gloves! I’m not worth it every time I say that.
What the grandson gives (for the entire bus):
Oh yeah of course! You are Freken Bock – it’s all in the courtyard!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №94449
 24.02.2014
By the will of fate I live in Germany and sent once to my wife (who lived in Russia at the time) a package. I put a envelope with a postcard inside. Well, I remembered the Urals and signed on the envelope "Do not open in any case!!!". And inside "oh you are a ugly pig, because it is written no!". And what do you think? A package came to his wife, opened, and there the letter was scattered.

I would give a lot to see the eyes of the customsman at that uncomfortable moment.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94448
 24.02.2014
1: Imho, it is difficult with one hand to reach the icon of the Windows and to the numbers 1-9. No, not to ride.
You didn’t play in the lineage, baby, you didn’t play.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94447
 24.02.2014
I am at work today. There is a hot discussion of the acute shortage of paper for the printer, it turns out that the money for the purchase seemed to have been allocated. And here so sadly our chief of department says: “Something I don’t feel these your discharges..."

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №94446
 24.02.2014
The internet makes us closer to those with whom we would like to stay away, that’s what I think.
- Ex you Vitievato has formulated the thesis "there has been a fool of Pidaras";

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №94445
 24.02.2014
XXX: Yes, you have given these PDs they need to be reduced to one sentence in general: the driver drives the car at his discretion, guided by the TSH of his car and common sense " and ALL!

YYY: and in controversial matters everything is decided by the auction on the spot, whoever is more accustomed to the inspector is right.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94444
 24.02.2014
There are such intelligent pregnant women. yesterday, one on the other, a matte spoke to the whole corridor, that she smoked in the toilet.

I am pregnant!! I smoked in the toilet in the nursery... Of course, and then, a year later, in all social networks tearful requests: help whoever can, my baby needs an urgent operation in Germany...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №94443
 24.02.2014
The Russian woman:
Ethnologue of self-education:

European women – make independent decisions or participate adequately in their adoption
Eastern woman allows men to make decisions on their own.
Russian woman - you make the decisions, and I will go, whatever decision you make.

European women – an equal partner with a shared responsibility
Eastern woman provides home comfort while man provides life.
Russian woman - I will not cook, wash, clean, I am not a slave to you, but you have to earn, provide a family, be a universal-sanitary-electric-builder, otherwise you are not a man.

Something we took from different cultures only bad qualities
____________________________

A European woman would file a lawsuit against you for your bad words, and five years later you would prove that you are not a camel, and you would be left without pants.
The Eastern woman would just quietly poison you, so that the breed would not spoil the children.
And only the Russian woman listened to you, the cock, and didn’t even argue.
Value what you have, defective
____________________________

Thanks for the visible confirmation.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №94442
 24.02.2014
TM project: I don’t really understand what’s wrong with the server update at night?
Find someone who wants to work at night.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94441
 24.02.2014
This is:
Well, as you know, a well-embraced lesbian is no different from a bisexual.)

Oh, like a well-fixed man from a gay - he is also disgusting and ugly, and then even more disgusting and everything hurts.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №94440
 24.02.2014
Chuck Norris never loses. Chuck Norris wins music and video only in the winners ;)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №94439
 24.02.2014
We have a complete unity with the coach of the hall - he runs after me with fat-free cheese and food substitute, and I run away from him with a plush in my teeth. He has never managed to catch me and take the plush. But I managed to hit him a couple of times with a hammer and lie down with my leg once.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94438
 24.02.2014
Well, I am, for example, skeptical of "challows". And, say, I would never take care of it, even if it was my last chance.
But who will give me the guarantee that a quiet, quiet girl will not be as dumb, only with deviant behavior?
— — —
And who will guarantee that you are a normal girl and not a fool?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №94437
 24.02.2014
XXX is hot. I am a resident of Ukraine. I cut my nails today. Can you consider yourself a resident of Chelyabinsk and move to Russia in the light of recent events in Ukraine?..." :)
YYY is weak. I would like to have metal knives.
YYY: and then, the completed phase
YYY: Here is the hydraulic truss...
Are you really a mosquito?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №94436
 24.02.2014
to this:
"Santiago: Cola, one disappointment, the kitten he hoped for turned out to be a girl, and I already called him Genadius, little more - he began to respond..." - Call her Hope;)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №94435
 24.02.2014
Ss.adm: The phone is broken in the accounting office, I need to put a new one, I wait for a call and an invitation.

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