bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149189
 20.02.2018
If my parents were to tell me at the age of eighteen (and at any other age) that the apartment I grew up in is no longer my home, I would consider it a betrayal.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149188
 20.02.2018
>> but just about 18 people usually start earning.

Have you seen many such people? Or are you talking about those who advertise at the subway or the pizza carrier? They earn money, for a trip, and for a cafe-cinema a couple of times a month. It was in the summer before the school started. At 18 people usually enter universities, well if on a budget, get 1k scholarships and try not to fly out, in order to at least live in the community and have more chances for a good job. Work starts closer to 21-22, in senior courses. And so is it after 25, when you accumulate formal experience, real experience and the ability to sell yourself for normal money. If you are lucky.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №149187
 20.02.2018
The gold woman has nowhere to try.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149186
 20.02.2018
His Majesty is the case.

Several years ago, the graduate of the university Irina, a smart, red graduate in the specialty "Specialist of economic forecasting", and just a beauty, tried to find a job in the specialty. But not here it was: everywhere you need work experience, and where to get it if you don't get a job? As a result, she became an assistant seller of electronics in a large network store. Six months later, after passing the exam, I started working as a salesman. And after some time, given the knowledge and diligence, became a senior salesman. After that I thought... After all, this is her ceiling in her career, and therefore, in a financial sense. Because, like in the anecdote, "the general has a son", and the anecdotes, as you know, are taken from life.

And it would continue unknown how long, but... The store received an offer from the distribution of Nokia Corporation to send several people to a seminar on the study of standards for 4G mobile communications networks. Of course, they sent the senior salesmen of the departments so that they, having acquired new knowledge, passed it on to their subordinates.

I ordered a taxi at 8:30 in the morning, but no one arrived at the appointed time! Calls to the taxi station, and there is no replacement car - the peak hour, they say! What to do? He runs to the prospect, catches a private man. On the third attempt, luck smiled. A little late, he runs into the hallway of the business center, and to the girl at the reception: Where are you here at the Nokia workshop? Without tearing the pipe from the ear and the eyes from the monitor, she shrugged her hand: There.

Running up the stairs... open doors to the hall. People are walking, they are sitting... Oh! So not late. He finds a free place, looks around and does not see his colleagues. And another strange thing: almost all present are men... Strange, but okay, maybe colleagues are late. But a sense of injustices still exists.

There is a business coach, an introductory word, as always a greeting. And here this irregularity was manifested: I am such - such, I welcome the participants, and today we will talk about innovations in the production of elastomers, in order to improve adhesive qualities and wear resistance in difficult conditions.

Panic... and where am I... and where am I, fucking?!! to
Looking around more closely. Screens, visual guides... Everywhere tires. Whole, cut and unworked... The final clarity was made by an assistant carrying notes, pencil and other shells: on the cover a white and green inscription Nokian Tyres. Here is Fallout! And to leave unnoticed impossible... I decided about myself: I sit down to a coffee break, and slime. Maybe I will find my own in this BC, for the delay they will rush, of course, but they will not shoot!

But whether the host of the seminar was so fiercely speaking, or whether Irina's blood was flowing elastic particles - the seminar interested her. Why, if these tyres are so dirty, they haven’t flooded the entire planet yet? Marketing or sales organization. There were questions that she did not hesitate to ask the lecturer, there were interested views of the participants and, most importantly, the organizers of the seminar. And after the break, I no longer wanted to look for my seminar, when there were still unsolved questions...

At the end of the event, Nokian Tyres’ commercial representative in the region asked her to drop her resume to his address. As a result, Irina is now doing what she has studied and is part of the top management of a large company.

Don’t be afraid to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Who knows, maybe it is necessary?

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149185
 20.02.2018
PIN code of my card - the last 4 digits of the number

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149184
 20.02.2018
And if you start digging in this direction, then you can live without musicians, writers and artists in principle. We recognize them as useless and forced labor. It was already.

In addition, the actor has to work somewhere! It’s wrong when he talks all day in the theater! After all, how much better would Ermolova have played in the evening if she had worked at the grinding machine in the afternoon, you understand..."

or so. Zikina asked, what are you doing?
I am singing!
I also sing. Do you work for whom?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149183
 20.02.2018
by this:

The difference of generations. Mother M and I.
I: Did you see it? There one man launched into space a car with a mannequin of an astronaut and is conducting a live broadcast on the Internet.
M: I was completely confused with my internet. How will he send you a car into space, he has his own rocket?
I: You won’t believe...

It is not a matter of generation, but of man. For example, my mother, 60+ years old, is interested in Musk in particular and science in general, and learned about the launch of the rocket almost before me. So is.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149182
 20.02.2018
I read you, I read you, and suddenly I came to think that you are some fucking. What was I interested in before? Have I started recovering?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149181
 20.02.2018
Today I bought pills for the cat so that the cat did not ask:
(P) The seller - you are cheaper or more expensive?
I am the one who works.
She gets the pills.
Am I the ones that are cheaper or the ones that are more expensive?
P is who works.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №149180
 20.02.2018
Dialogue of parents:
Have you forgotten what day is today? 20 years now we are together!
You are like a deadline, god!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149179
 20.02.2018
The problem is not that people are not ready to perceive the expansion of the comfort zone, but that the "repair of the entrance for their" - the equivalent of the message "I am richer than you all", and nobody likes to boast about money. Therefore, my improvement for pennies and my own hands is generally supported by others and survived, and Timin's repair will be predictably stifled.

Oh, that is, it is better to live in the shit, but we all live in the shit, than in the pure, but made by the sworn bourgeois entrance, you go, spread your butt, and we are in the elevator for you to be unimportant? Thank you for explaining, seriously.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149178
 20.02.2018
Sometimes you look like a fox. Small and white.
The dog. clearly understandable.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149177
 20.02.2018
xxx: A tribe of 6 years old was vaccinated with measles / parotitis / rubella.
He came home and cried:
“Dad, and I was vaccinated today against CORPORATIVE and rubella! XD is
zzz: – Mde... I think I even know people who need this vaccine very much. In front of the company)

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149176
 20.02.2018
What kind of school, baby? Leningrad graduates are not there.
And what you did at 16, my chocolate, is great. You FZ "on education in the Russian Federation open", rabbit, and count.

Guy, I don’t know what Leningrad is in the shower, but you can’t be so nervous. Why did my age excite you so much? Yes, I enrolled in 1 course at 16, at the same school ended at 16, it was possible. Seriously, why is this boiling shit from simple facts?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149175
 19.02.2018
They borrowed. Well, at 19 I left my parents, filled the cloves and at 30 got up somewhere on my feet. The sister left the house at 25, immediately to normal work, without these wooden fractures. Someone has the opposite. For example, his father left, rose up himself and helped his parents, and his brother and (his!) There are no pensions and old people are going to pay for money. You are all square nests.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149174
 19.02.2018
News: "Scientists have created a hybrid of man and sheep"
Nastya: And so the lambs are enough, and they still artificially bring them out.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149173
 19.02.2018
And what you did at 16, my chocolate, is great. You FZ "on education in the Russian Federation open", rabbit, and count.

Chel, forgive me, when were you born? I am in the 80s. In October. 1st class is 7 years. And there was such a school program - "1-3". You’ve gotten rid of it, sofa special. 1-3 is when the program of 4 primary classes take place in 3 years, and then immediately go to 5th grade. I finished school at 16. Calculate it yourself if you don’t. Just believe that the education system changes with time, as do the laws.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149172
 19.02.2018
xxx: Who is closer to you, the liberals (gay on the spotlight) or the communists (calling for 60 years and the war on the United States)?

zzz: gays on the edge of norms - can wash dishes, clean the house, cat to walk. This is legalized slavery. Calling up to 60 is also the norm - I don't want to go at 18, but to retirement is closer just to do not figure.

XXX is serious.

Zzz: How serious can it be in the circus?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149171
 19.02.2018
Gogen had five children.
To transmit the father’s gene.
Not every woman.
Able to hold Gog.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №149170
 19.02.2018
As long as you are on a submarine, you must love your homeland continuously.

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