bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №124620
 19.02.2016
xxx : link to today’s lecture on Machine Learning: <link>
YYY (bow)
ZZZ: a mixture of capoeira and brake
Sorry, I am not in that chat.
XXX: so these lectures have not yet been characterized

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124619
 19.02.2016
The governor of the Saratov region, Valery Radaev, proposed to the management of the local plant of SEPO, which produces mainly refrigerators, to set up the production of smartphones iPhone 7.
YYY: What's the difference really
YYY: Have we re-profiled tank tanks?
From the refrigerator to the iPhone.
XXX: The Party orders – they can!
YYY: Dada
XXX: It will be the largest smartphone in the world, by the way.
XXX: And with a freezer camera instead of a photo camera!
YYY: The coolest smartphone ever
The rear wall is warm.
YYY: Yes, this is the problem with the sixth.
YYY: Just keep it right.
YYY: According to the manufacturer's recommendations

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124618
 19.02.2016
The Saratov refrigerator plant will produce iPhones
SSS:...blah, this is not a fake.
Aaa: iPhones will be the size of a refrigerator and powered by the network
BBB: But they will be able to hide from a nuclear explosion!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №124617
 19.02.2016
My nephews brought Jack Russell a girl. So this momsel was mastered by them, began to run around the apartment in search of a game. I found. The Cat. The cat was important, royally walking across the floor. His royal testicles were significantly rolled from side to side. Until it happened. Now the cat lives in cabinets like a ninja, because the little lady was very interested in this part of the cat's body. She runs after him and gets enough for the pumpkins. Why is he so upset and doesn’t play?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №124616
 19.02.2016
Or it is a protective reaction of the human psyche against the unchanging reality. 1790, Radishchev "Travel from St. Petersburg to Moscow" I can list the chapters in which the last battles and debuts are described. And about the service, and about the power, and about the roads, and about the incomes of ordinary citizens. And do you know why I am fooled, who now steals and builds badly? Because so will all those who will come to replace the current tormentors. You yourself work quality, do not leave early on Friday, do not pull the office, do not give bribes, pay all taxes on time, and the public service too? The difference between the manager who pulls the office and the MP who pulls the Mercedes into the budget is only in scale. This is only he has already crashed and something still remains in the budget, and you will come and you will need everything again: a car-home-give-channels, which means that the budget will be empty again.
— — —
just don’t try to "smash all" in your own shit, so that "do not come out clean" :)
You won’t believe it, but there are a lot of people who work on their conscience, love their work, strive for professionalism, cherish their reputation and love to feel useful and needed. And the fact that we perceive it as a children’s fairy tale or an American series is a serious problem for our society.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №124615
 19.02.2016
Just just. The bus arrived and the pressure at the landing began, everyone wants to get in and get time to sit. A guy in front of me accidentally hits a woman on his right foot. Everyone begins to scream at him, “Are you blind?” Are you alone here? and the other. He talks to her in the language of the deaf. Seeing this woman immediately cools and begins to apologize to him, say sorry, I am so uncomfortable. Anger immediately changed to mercy and compassion. The guy smiled and said, "Nothing terrible, you didn't know.

Everyone laughed, including her.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №124614
 19.02.2016
At the classes today, the Orthodox aunt, lessons on word, we fill the text (random enough). Showing the insert of the picture, we insert the default image from the screw - with penguins.
I: Well, let’s have a text about penguins. Let’s print him a title.
The Life of Jesus of Nazareth (The Life of Jesus of Nazareth)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124613
 18.02.2016
You are sitting on the internet. You encounter the name of an old actor and remember how you dragged in childhood from fighting with him... you go on a film search, watch the filmography and understand that the career has actually come a writer. But you hope that maybe he will still be lucky and he will be filmed in a bad movie... And then you see that he starred in the movie of Sasha Kuritsyn, and you understand that it is ALL, there is no way back.

Farewell to Mark Dacascos.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №124612
 18.02.2016
Announced by:
"All lovers of jewelry, wool products, socks,
rabbits, fish, cats, cockroaches, oysters and so on... I make brochures
by order! andquot;
O_O

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124611
 18.02.2016
She wrote a letter to the client, and a little missed:
"Now is a list of subcontracts sent to you that have not returned to us=(
Please sign and write"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №124610
 18.02.2016
And what kind of thing, knowing that her fox is not educated properly, the hostess drops her off the leash in a public place? He still does not watch her. Why not educate? Why did she take her if she didn’t take care of her dog properly? And yes, the girls are playing cockroaches in the kindergarten, and this is a fox.
There is a companion in the cloud, right?

It is the ugly educated seams and the owners with the same character are dropped from the lead.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №124609
 18.02.2016
Is Stalin disintegrating? In other words, it was balzamed for eternal storage.
YYY: I think 86% of his prayers in recent years have re-growthed his flesh.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124608
 18.02.2016
I finally understood what it means "no sex before marriage".
As long as you plan everything, there is only one wish left – to sleep.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124607
 18.02.2016
Spring is coming
Men have hormones.
One request
You should not put your partner’s finger in the ass during sex if she asks you not to do it.

Not all girls like it.
And if in porn a girl stumbles out of the ghetto, it does not mean that it extrapolates on the entire female race.

They like porn.
He’s in porn for an hour without a break, and you’re over in five minutes.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №124606
 18.02.2016
In the past, when my friend called me “dear” and I asked him “How much?” he replied that he hadn’t printed so much yet. And now he answers that the living weight must be counted. and :(

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124605
 18.02.2016
Grandma is urinating.

Grandma, good morning How are you?
Pressure... I am blind... But I am alive!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №124604
 18.02.2016
Director in the hearts of lawyers:
I will not let you go to school anymore. Especially for a week! I don’t know what or where it lies! These calls are incomprehensible.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №124603
 18.02.2016
Walk, stop a dog eating food, can only the one who feeds it, the method of correct dosage. I, by the way, suspect that with cats the same thing... Probably, in the description of the class they do not have the property of “the stomach is full.” And here is, in fact, the story that the breeder told us, who dedicated us and my wife to dog growers:
At night, the guard who guarded the meat warehouse touched a beautiful volume of 0.5 and fell asleep with restless sleep. While he was asleep, two of his colleagues, the rottweilers Gunk and Shrek, who did not mind anything, found a weak spot in the wall of the warehouse and pierced it with their foreheads. Then they ate what they had earned. In the morning, they were found in a bunch of meat, but no signs of life. And if Stirlitz had been among the burden shifts that collided around the place of yesterday’s holiday’s belly, he would probably have thought: “Peredose.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №124602
 18.02.2016
Hi dear, I am back.
God, how long have you been?
and eight.
Have you tried to release yourself before?
I tried. I even had an attempt to escape.
and when?
At the lunch. The manager caught me and said, “I pay you for eight hours of work.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №124601
 18.02.2016
<xxx>It is just cute!

One of the significant events of this year in the field of hotel business of Novosibirsk was the opening of the first large hotel of Akademgorodka Park Wood hotel. The scale for the scientific center is impressive: seven floors and more than 3000 square meters, a high level of service, the cleanest air and a picturesque view of the breeze grove. With the opening of the Park Wood hotel, the Academic City has one of the best venues in the city for accommodating guests and holding meetings at a high level.

<xxx> bravo I thought for a long time, where the hell? Where is the miracle? You know where?
<xxx> on the floor. in the 168th hospital. in the promozone.
<xxx>"In the middle of the garden"
<xxx>It’s just a glowing box

<xxx>no, I’m really just in favor. I was only discouraged by the "who successfully settled in a beautiful berry grove, away from the noisy highways."
<xxx>this is how it turns out to be now called that place. I’ve always been hiding him with a vacuum behind a vegetable base.

<xxx>this is undoubtedly the best place to hold high-level meetings :)

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