bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109663
 20.02.2015
We live in a private house, finally had a normal internet. The router was hanged in the corridor at a height of 3-4 meters to better send the signal.
Our acquisition was immediately interested in our cat Archibald, who can get to him by shelves and cabinets. Now, when the cat wants to eat, it goes to the router and begins to whisper loudly. Once I had to catch the falling router and put it back. Now we are afraid. The phrase “the internet has fallen” has never been so literal.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109662
 20.02.2015
There are two types of oil in Russia.
These guys are all well known.
c) the record

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109661
 20.02.2015
I apologize for my French.
At five in the morning, I pierce my eyes and realize that I have a pimple. My favourite came yesterday, and yesterday there was a co-worker’s doctor... the last thing I remember, we were driving to the Sosulka cooperative... and she was driving... just a pipet! In spite of the stumbling, I recall the types of executions that can be carried out at home. It is stupid to resist, it deserves.
His favorite singing something under his nose brings a cold beer and asks if I remember what Dimon and I did. The memory shows a cookie, not a mix. I’m trying to figure out when I’ll be dismembered, but I’m in a surprisingly good mood. He squeezed a little to the public in order to split the cause. So, the events of the past: I ate class and Dimka came to me. Having found the unseen I fell on my knees and... persuaded her to take us with Dimka to the unheavy girls! There, having built them in a row, I pulled her out of the car and spent along the line, telling me, the more beautiful she was! I don’t know how it gave birth to my sober brain, but I was forgiven and the congratulations were accepted! Why we didn’t hit the guard is still a mystery. Dymon was crazy, he had enough courage to tell his father that we were driving my girlfriend to the fools on a tour!

And on the subject:
Under the crown of the banana
Castaneda fucking don Juan
It’s not a problem, but never since.
They did not interfere with Solomon.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109660
 20.02.2015
Steingart recalls that a few years ago in Moscow he was taken by a drunk taxi driver who said he could not feed his family and that he wanted to emigrate to the United States. Steingart advised him to Canada. " In Canada Never ever! I can only live in a superpower,” the taxi driver cried out.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №109659
 20.02.2015
Damn, about bonding to read more interesting than about "high" family relationships.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109658
 20.02.2015
Listen, do you know this electrician that Vitalik recommends to everyone?
222: No, I just heard it. and what?
111: Well, Vitalik sent a contact. I am eager to turn to an electrician who Vitalik has called "Kostya Dolboep".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109657
 20.02.2015
It is a pity that there is no chat on e-commerce platforms like Wow, WOT or elsewhere.
It could be written to the other participants of the tender.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109656
 20.02.2015
5 signs of any disorder:
1st A whistleblower hanging in the phone all night.
Three Two crazy people.
4 is A man who doesn’t understand what he’s doing there.
5 is Meloman, trying to turn on music that only he likes.

Why do I play all the roles at once?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №109655
 20.02.2015
I looked at Leviathan. I don’t understand why the shaker. In Russia, things are much worse.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109654
 20.02.2015
GOMEZ: International mail addresses are written in Arabic letters and Latin numbers.
Gomez: Oh, that is the opposite.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109653
 20.02.2015
The news of the day that shocked the world:
Jen Psaki is leaving her job due to pregnancy.

One of the first comments to the news:
How else could it be removed, not the death initiated.
This is a decree, gentle and sweet.


[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109652
 20.02.2015
On the television in the criminal chronicle show footage of the assault of a drug addict in the apartment on the third floor.

Screams, noise, the ringing of the broken glass (operatives penetrated through the window), on the floor in a row with a mouth of half a person ten narcissists. A knocked door with noise falls on the floor, a healthy uncle in a armor enters the corridor and with a loud, well-set voice says: "Good evening!"

I wonder if he’s joking or really doesn’t understand that the evening hasn’t been good for a long time?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109651
 20.02.2015
Jen, tell me, who is the happy father?
I don't know, I'll have to clarify at the office.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109650
 20.02.2015
In the vibration.
– – – – –

Let us end this dispute of the dumb with the deaf.For the especially incomprehensible and was written in the first comment to this occasion-"Call a friend-battery died in the vibrator! Dear, I’ll bring you now!"I’ll bring you now!What other fool has to explain on his fingers how his visit ended?
She called him, she was afraid.
After the batteries, she runs away in the laurel, once sleeping!)))
And, by the way, it is correct that the author of the quotation with a girlfriend separated - the stupid should not multiply.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №109649
 20.02.2015
About a guy with two towers and an apartment after 2 years after the army..>
If you live with your ancestors and earn 70-80k a month (for the norms of the species - nothing difficult), postponing 50..."

If you live with your ancestors, then don’t get out on the topic "self, everything yourself".
if zero specialists, who without experience, and with an annual break in the army, are paid 70-80k, then this is again in the office of their ancestors or their big friends, no different.
norm vacancy in default city sp for a new graduate student - 30k ceiling, in the regions give god 15 will freeze yourself
So either a shit in a flat place, or a dad-mother, but then what is the personal merit? Born of good ancestors? I tried, I tried, I didn’t do all that, lol.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109648
 20.02.2015
I watch all the iPhones in my hands to see what they have. Interesting, and how they will wear the clock from the apple: They will wear the sleeves on the elbow, so that you can see what they have there or on the top of the coat to wear)))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №109647
 20.02.2015
I add :

The mandatory appeal of men is a consequence of the patriarchate, not the opposite. Patriarchate is harmful to men, and you didn’t know?

What does the Patriarchate give us:
Do you feel bad, scared or hurt? You are like a cloth, men do not cry. And men, afraid to show any feelings, dig everything in themselves until they explode. Male aggression has its roots, including in the suppression of "non-male" feelings. Heart attacks as well.
You are a man, you have to provide your wife and family! It should be both spouses.
The boy calls out, “You’re like a girl! "He’s crying, it’s offensive. Why is it a shame to be a woman?
A man must understand the instrument and be able to repair anything. What if he doesn’t have that tendency? All, not a man.
The man had a casus in bed. The end of the world is not a man. You are not robots, everything happens. But with patriarchy, this is a huge blow to self-esteem.
Do you like to sew, tie, collect icebans? Homo is something, nothing else. Yes, you can’t, because you can go down for a baab or a peeedika. So don’t do your favorite thing so that others don’t think about it.

I can continue forever. Are you really not upset here?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109646
 20.02.2015
We are all God’s creatures, but some of us are creatures.

[ + 28 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109645
 20.02.2015
A little about philosophy. It is interesting how the meaning of different passing phrases has changed in the minds of people. For example, “I’ll take you out to clean water!” Everyone thinks it means “I’ll uncover.” Anne is not. Take the times when the serfs were given to the army for twenty-five years. The soldier and his guilty in the carcass, on bread and water. And already “putting out on clean water” a day for three is for special merits.



Or “to put under the monastery” is also its own story. The hierarch sent the unpleasant priest to the monks, depriving the family and all rights. To go to jail is problematic, and it is not good to judge the father, and to go to a monastery is easy. Ivan the Terrible, nicknamed Vasilyevich for his cruelty (as written in one foreign encyclopedia), was married eight times. She liked the girl — he married, and the former wife where? In the monastery, sins are painted. To not please the king is not a sin.



Or, say, Pushkin in the tale of the sleeping queen has such words:

The Queen is evil,

Her brother threatened...

The teacher was unable to explain to us what the rogat was about, although for us the picture looked funny. And only much later I read that a collar was called a collar with spikes, in which you can neither lie or lean to anything, but keep your head all the time. She threatened her with torture, and in such collars she wrapped candlesticks.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №109644
 20.02.2015
Just think about it! Because of the shelling of Debaltsevo, the OSCE can not get to Debaltsevo to record whether there are shelling or not. This is 5+!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna