MixanM: worked in the car show, some guys worked in the car show "UAZ", so they told what they got to the funny:
Sometimes cars are broken.
-It is considered normal to control the buchanka at the client with a cuvalda / hammer
A visitor's cover of the gasoline tank is normal.

With the VerNel air conditioner, you can enjoy the freshness of your underwear for up to eight weeks! We have already been taught not to pay attention to the crude slang (after the google translator immediately on the air, right?). Well, here’s what I’ll tell you, idiots: in order to enjoy the freshness of the laundry, it needs to be washed at least once a week.

Dear moderators of the website задолba.li
I, a 27-year-old woman with a white collar, have never stood by a machine in my life, and then I know that it’s not a rile, but a relay.
Do you have a conscience?

I was in the last subway wagon. There were two men on both sides of the door. At one of the stops, when the landing ended and the doors began to close, a man tried to jump in. At that moment, two men kicked him on a rifle and the door closed. I am in shock. I only managed to think that there was a Stop Ham movement in the subway too. Then it began to come to me.



One man, when he pushed out our hero, shouted to him, “It fell. has fallen. It has fallen!!” Our hero was confused. He was kicked out of the car, and a man was throwing his wallet into him. It came to him too! The hero fell the wallet from his pocket, and three men at this point noticed it and quickly reacted. And this man raised his hand upward in a sign of respect and gratitude.



Thus, three seconds saved the man a lot of money and nerves on recovering credit cards and possibly documents.

The boss of Bobrov...
It is quite classic:
So what will Captain Kozlov say?
- Not the goats, but the experts, sir the leader!

Our office has been in existence for 8 years. It recently opened a subsidiary, a few floors below. So the boss is constantly walking there now. All the new beautiful - furniture, equipment, secretary. It’s not what we are, old vetosh :-)))))

I did not let go, I searched for infos:
of Germany. 6 weeks before and 8 weeks after birth. Overall in Europe: Decree 16-34 weeks of which paid recovery period of 12-14 weeks.
################
You are confusing a mandatory recovery period in Germany with a voluntary maternity leave.

To the beginner to blossom the joke about the bride vs. the maid:

To live together is evil. They all know. Everyone knows this before the wedding.
Secondly, it is unlikely that the son with his wicked wife was drawn suddenly and unexpectedly with suitcases in the middle of the parent’s single. This issue was discussed and a reasoned decision was made.
The success of this initiative depends on the iq of both sides. If you accept a new, strange person in the house, you will be prepared for inconvenience. If you come to live in someone else's house with a well-established household, do not lie down and respect other people's orders.
As soon as the struggle for power begins or attempts to put it in place - turn off the light, throw a grenade.

XXX: In the clay I went to hell in the first class in the collage. We washed up a chicken, a bag of apples and three loaves of bread.

XXX: None of the first-class students had the skills of killing the chicken. We decided to cook it in the clay alive. They bound their legs and soaked with clay, plunged into coal. The rope burned and the chicken fled. We baked bread and ate apples.

Mother and son are in the hospital. Hospital "charms" are known: injections, blood from the finger. After another blood donation, the boy grumbled. To distract him, he asks:

“Sasha, what do you like more: when injections are done or when blood is taken from the finger?

He turns around and with some crazy hope in his eyes draws his hands to her:

Mom, I like to give up the urine!

How did you manage to spend so much money on paint?
So they painted the city.

xxx: Faced with such a problem, there is a drop-down list where ajax loads values, everything works perfectly in all browsers except internet explorer. It has to first click once, the empty list falls out and only when the second click the ajax list opens. If anyone has a problem, how can it be solved?
YYY: What version of the donkey is this?
X: Did you get rid of the horse?

I go on a trolleybus. People are small, people 10-15. The boy talks long and persistently on the phone, learns - where to take his car and where to go afterwards. There’s a call at me – I say I’ll pick up the car from the parking lot now and come. At the stop, a man comes in, calls, answers: "Well, now I will take the car and soon I will be." Even the driver of the trolley bus. :)

by the author "but the garage"
I work on the phone and your story about me. It’s my silence in the phone, and then dissatisfied with a long pause "allo". Because I always, when I answer the call, tell the interlocutor where he got and say hello. And then I logically wait for the conversation from him to continue. But the problem is the telephone device, my or the interlocutor, and maybe the communications operator, but often at the beginning of the conversation for me and the interlocutor there is a synchronization. I greeted him, but he didn’t hear it. He begins to hear me, but I have already arranged my greeting and we both listen to the silence for a while. Or, on the contrary, a person hears the silence, calls and only then I connect to the conversation, say hello, etc. This rasynchron in a few seconds and it dulls, yes. But that doesn’t mean that your interlocutor is dumb and wasted your time and money, he’s just connected to the conversation not at the same time as you.

No one is against your children, I am against being charged the cost of growing them.
You are complaining about small benefits. But the state thinks that the adult is incapable (i.e. A person is capable of feeding his own offspring. What kind of benefit do you want? 20,000 a month? 50,000 a month? You have not worked for 3 years. Don’t pay any contributions and want to get something? Probably too difficult thought for the hormone-softened brains.
............
I have been paying taxes for 15 years. My husband has been paying taxes for 15 years. So put your opinion in your ass and don’t get stuck.

I have not worked for 2 months.
Periodically, neighbors see me leaving the house / coming home at work time with a confused person (I am looking for a job, well, in principle, everyone is not used to smiling without a reason).
I recently learned from my mother that her neighbors are trying to find out about my personal life.
It turns out, in the courtyard only talking about the fact that I am pregnant, I sit in a decree and some rich married man abandoned me. Some see a rounded stomach - in the bowl I am in principle bigger, yes...
And since I still periodically come in different cars (I help with the work of the past employer, back from work will take the driver on different cars), then I also try to find a man urgently... And in general, no shame or conscience, swallowed and now hangs a lappu on the ears of good guys.

Konstantin Knop: In time immemorial participated in the works competitions of the MAN [Little Academy of Sciences]. He was himself in mathematics, but was once a spectator at a report in the biology section. The work was devoted to a stunning observation, supported by a large number of measurements: the circle of any ants is about three times the length of its diameter.

I'm driving today in a bus, and here on the front seat next to the driver was sitting a booming look man. And the man, say, with such a "aroma", which immediately spread throughout the salon. 5 minutes pass, and the driver asks him to sit in the salon, somewhere further away. The man refuses, saying he paid and can sit where he wants. This is repeated 3 times with intervals. There is a girl sitting in the front seat at the stop. After a while, the driver stopped and cried:

It smells like you sit back.

Ten seconds of silence.

The red girl stands up and sits back.

In the training center, where we were sent to study for a week, before entering the buffet there is a working bike worker.

Trolling, however

I don’t like walking dead.
HH: I don’t understand the idea.
WOW: The idea is that all people are shit =)
Well, it must be about zombies.