Only the St. Petersburgers, running to the toilet with all their strength and knocking the closed door, say not like everybody, “Here is a bl...e”, but “What an annoyance!”

A 6-year-old daughter asks her father in the garage: “Daddy, why are Zyguli made in Russia and cars in Japan?”

1st They had cats before, when they were fighting, cried over the whole apartment. They began to swallow the water, now each other mourn silently, like partisans.
2nd Did they get the second cat?
1st So the first was boring, the oral was walking, demanding attention. So I decided the second for him for the company.
2nd Will it be the same with the children? The first thing is boring, let’s get the second. Both are boring, give them a third.
The first ?
2nd Fuck, I now seem to understand why my parents gave birth to five.

In_hell: I met a girl who serves under a contract.
In Hell: That is what happens. I will wait for her two years from the army, and give her gifts for 23?

The secret of eternal life the ancient wise men took with them to the grave.

No force can stop a cat who has decided to sit down on your knees.

I work as a guard in Siberia, 60 on Friday. I met a girl = ex-teacher) there, the mural walls turned there. On the next evening, they drank beer, smoked a cigarette, we go to me, she chews gum, I talk.
The matter comes to hugs and hugs, here I am already carefully putting her on the bed I lean over her and I fall out.
I have dreamed of doing it all my life!!! to

I whisper in her ear - all my life dreamed of doing this with the teacher, she grinds.

Then I go away, sharing the wild expression of my face, putting my hand and chestling with a metal voice, chewing here, fast!! to

We laughed for a long time, but I didn’t break that night. and :(

snark: caught a cat for a funny activity
snark: I stood next to the toilet, pulled the foot there that I was looking for :)
snark is scotch.
I watched the picture and went to the bathroom :)
Tagged as: ahaha
If I were a photoshop master, I’t have washed.

(Discussion of a pizza box layout made on the theme of America's symbols)

XXX and more
XX: It is extremely unforgivable to paint Marilyn Monroe without a moth, at any stage of schematicity
Marilyn needs to start painting from the motherboard
The whole of Marlin is built around her.

Now the whole office was angry over how I was talking to the new brigadier on the phone.
I call him
I: Hi you Sergei. This is Alexandra, Company XX. Call to Sergey Vladimirovich
He: to whom? Andrei Vladimirovich
I: Ser-ge-ju Вла-di-mi-ro-vi-chu
He: I don’t know that.
I: (heavy breathing) Where are you currently working?
He: In the Sunna
Q: What is the name of the company in which you work?
See also: XXX
I: Praaaavily... And our boss’s name is Kaak?
He is Sergey Vladimirovich.
I am here!! Call him too!
The Curtain

Mayrin
My brother shaved and shaved.
Mayrin
Known by the jacket.

In Wikipedia appeared:
Chelyabinsk is a major city in Russia, the administrative center of the Chelyabinsk region, destroyed by a meteorite on 15.02.13.
40 minutes passed.

You are
What are you!? to
Not you, but unfortunately.
What do you have? You have to say "you" Learn the Russian.

I watch the time program. Time for the fall of a meteorite:
has passed!
So I would like to add a comment from the face of the harsh Chelyabinsk:
You would have been like that!!! to

From the Chelyabinsk meteorite discussion:
xxx: and my friend works in Chelyabinsk as the director of the factory for the production of plastic windows (and is its co-founder). The factory had had significant financial difficulties lately, and we all advised a friend to find a new job or start a new business. We said, “O Olga, wealth will not fall from the sky.”
How I was wrong :)

There is one good poem, childish, and at the same time adult, and very touching. (This is about the falling meteorite.)

Roman Sef
Somewhere in space.
The Blue Meteorite.
You go and he flies.
You lie down and he flies.
You are asleep, but everything flies.
A meteorite in space.
You will grow up little by little.
You take ten pairs of galas.
The mountain of books.
You will become an astronomer.
And one night
You will go to acquaintances.
Suddenly the reproducer says:
"A meteorite fell into the taiga".
The whole world is excited, the world is noisy:
A meteorite has fallen into the taiga.
You will tell your friends in the morning.
Farewell to the City:
I will not come to you today,
I go out alone at noon.
From one of the expeditions".
You are eight years old today,
All the white light before you.
Somewhere in the universe.
Flying, flying, flying and flying
The Blue Meteorite.
The gift is precious.
As long as he rushes,
Hurry to study.

We had a senior in the army, who after the fighting, counting the personnel, loved to say:"The birch on the bed should correspond to the mark on the foot!"

There’s nothing better than a girl with a sense of humor, I’m on a bus today. Not that it would be a battle but the people are tightly standing, at one of the stops comes a full girl, looking around the salon as if she screamed about herself - ooo, there is nowhere to fall. And the mood raised everyone and the place gave up)))

Marina is men! Before February 23, buy yourself foam, shave, cup and socks! Put your loved one in an impasse.

Question about TP:
I work in an organization. There are subordinates. One, especially strange lady talked about buying a new mobile phone. The dialogue:
She: I want a phone for a thousand for 25, so that I know exactly that it isn’t g...o.
I: I have an explain for 2000 r. with TV, inet, 3 sims, it sounds normal...
She: So he is Chinese, which in fact g... o.
I: So your Nokia is probably also Chinese, in vain you chase the country)
She: Nokia is a Finnish company, so the quality is good.
I: Let’s find out what mead in action they made.
She disassembled the phone and there is the inscription Made in Hungary. Then came the intellectual soul.
I: Well, you see, it’s done in the jungle. Where is the jungle?
Ta climbs into Google and finds information of the type: Jungaria is a historic region in the northwest of the Chinese province of Xinjiang.
The girl was in shock until good people told me about Hungary.
Z is. Learn English and Geography