bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148789
 05.02.2018
XXX: I also tried programming, but it turns out not just the buttons to be pressed, but certain, in the right sequence...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148788
 04.02.2018
Listen to Spanish lessons. Discuss the pizza, the size "family", i.e. This is because there are large families in Mexico. The American leader asks the Mexican leader:
“Liliane, how many people can eat a family pizza?”
Lily thought for a moment.
Probably an American.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №148787
 04.02.2018
When I say I don’t want anything, it means, “What I want you can’t give me, and what you can offer me I don’t need, so go away.” But I’m a cultural person, and I only say out loud: “I don’t want anything.”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148786
 04.02.2018
I got official permission to talk to myself and the surrounding objects at work.)))
Did the boss say you are suffering? I see you’re an auditor, you work better. Speak to!

> and >

Thanks to you people. Now I know that I am an auditor. I thought it was just fucking dumb :D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148785
 04.02.2018
Arcadia in theatre
Put in the corner of Kirzachi.
Drawing the sweaters.
The Silver Lornet.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148784
 04.02.2018
My aunt studied in the out-of-school and was already working on a future specialty. At work, a question arose, she calls the teacher, she says I can consult with you, I will go where you say, I will just show you a couple of documents, you will literally look with one eye and say your opinion.
He comes, and he is one-eyed.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148783
 04.02.2018
XXX is
Oh yeah! Here comes a man, wants to file a lawsuit on the company-builder. Why is? Because of attention! The Screenshot! Studio apartment at room price. he clarified by correspondence, he was confirmed, he contributed money and began to wait for delivery at home.

HHH
But now comes - the second floor, the windows to the courtyard, all as promised... but the windows look north. Thus e. There is never the sun there.

HHH
I am not a local, all the affairs were conducted by correspondence, flying to us from Vladik is expensive, so I did not see housing.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148782
 04.02.2018
If someone calls me a friend, I laugh in the face. Now I am just familiar to everyone. Or better, an unknown person to everyone.
WU: What happened?
XHH: I’ll explain it later. Maybe maybe.

Two days later.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH How is it?
Hi unknown man!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №148781
 04.02.2018
XXX: This is the country!
YYY: It’s as if they’ve gone back. and ;)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №148780
 04.02.2018

In the evening, tired as hell, I prepare my husband’s lunch. He received a message at lunchtime.
M: Why in the pasta? and :-)
I am mm. Compliments from the Chef
M is a :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148779
 04.02.2018
Why prove the right to such people? This does not change anything at all. I have an all-knowing grandmother, whom a million times have been ticked with the nose in the fact that she carries nonsense, the grandmother proudly replied, "Well, I'm stupid, and you're all clever," and once again used to all-knowingly broadcast the Achine with detailed instructions on how to live, so that she likes it.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148778
 04.02.2018
The more naive a person is, the more serious a conversation.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №148777
 04.02.2018
The story of the lover reminded me.

A man lived with his family. And then one day a new neighbor comes to him and says, “I love your wife, I can’t live without her and she without me too. No claims, children will be adopted, housing and material provision - I am the owner of factories, factories and steam ships." I don’t remember if there were broken cheeks or other unpleasant events before and after the divorce, but six months after the wedding there was a re-encounter.

The young man says: take your king back, she is dumb, does not work, Instagrams all day, flirts with all the men, does not know how to cook, does not look after the children and has divorced at home. The man listened to him and said to bring the children, my children - I will take, and deal with this foolishness yourself. How did you meet her at all?! to
- Yes, you understand, I just moved here and did not hire a housewife yet, and here the smell of such from your apartment borst came, well, I asked for guests like a new neighbor - let's get to know, and what is it in your pot.

The ex-husband cried out of laughter. In this house, he said, I always cooked.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148776
 04.02.2018
Cinderella married a prince. He spread roses around her room, but at 12 they turned into socks.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №148775
 04.02.2018
Last month there was a feminist celebration. They celebrated what, thanks to their collective efforts, the leadership of Formula 1 abandoned the already traditional profession of gridgirls. Grid Girls – girls of model appearance, who before the start of the race take the drivers to the starting positions.

The problem is that the girls, by the efforts of their "defenders", are now left without their favorite work.

“For the fault of these feminists, the NAC was deprived of their jobs! I’ve been a gridgerl for eight years and I’ve never felt uncomfortable! I love my job. If she didn’t like me, I’t do it! No one forced NAC. This is our choice!” wrote former royal racing model Lauren Jade on Twitter.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148774
 04.02.2018
An old Jew was sitting in the yard on a bench. My little grandson was playing c machine. The old man picked up the rugged wire of the earth and sat and turned it in his hands. My grandson was interested in the discovery. He came and said, “Dad, give me.” The old man said what he simply won't give, but he can change to a machine. My grandson C was happy.
A few minutes later, the wire was bored and he went to his grandfather to change back. The old man did not change, despite the cry of the child.
Neighbors approached the old man, tried to pressure him to return the machine and stopped this nonsense. The old man told them, “Don’t stop raising a child.” He never returned the car to him.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148773
 04.02.2018
If you can’t take off the eye from someone, it means that he has pretty strong nerves. At least visual.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148772
 04.02.2018
<wasilij> - Yes, here we will clean, and here we will probably leave. The head is simple.
Look at it, you can at least for negotiations, at least for a hassle, you can appear everywhere.
– Rabbi, can you make a circumcision without excessive pathos?! to
<Gurman> can not. Esthetics is very important. Then take someone in the mouth.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148771
 04.02.2018
This night under the windows some man wildly oral "Fuck, fuck, what fuck!!!!and "
I didn’t even scream at him, because I had the same question.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148770
 04.02.2018
You all, young people, need to be taught.

>>> the correct algorithm:
1 Shooting
2nd Overloaded
Dedicate the lamp and ask "who is here?"

Shoot twice, the first to defeat and the second to warn.

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