bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148689
 01.02.2018
If everyone were happy, the notion of happiness would be absent.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148688
 01.02.2018
Good affair

“Be careful, do not do good without witnesses.”
by Tom Lerner

At fifteen in a row, I was ready for a good deed. He waited straight, even speech in his head. Here is a call from an unknown number. I take the phone and turn on the intonation of the tired hero who saved the world:

and alo.
Do you hear, dog, you fucking go there? You don’t even know how you got there!
Meaning of “fall”? (The intonation of the hero has betrayed me) And with whom do I have the honor?
I will find you myself! And mentions will deprive you of two years of rights. Listen, briefly, come back here, to the scene of the accident, here and resolve. I’m squeezing, I’m waiting! Do you understand me, shit?
- Yes, I understood, I understood, but don't throw the phone, listen as it was, I'll try briefly.
So, yesterday evening, at eight o’clock, I was passing through your street and, right in front of me, from the “meeting” the car miserably turned through the “solid”. Naturally, it did not fit, your Lexus was pumped up and, without stopping, sinked at sunset. I, as an honest man and also the only witness, did not lazy, frightened, stopped, found something to write, well, and pushed you under the wallet a note with a phone to tell the number of the car of the culprit and, by the way, if necessary, a video from the registrar wanted to throw. Yes, I have a registrar.

So, now on the fact: the brand of the car I, unfortunately, did not see something intermediate between "Zaporozhiec" and "Belas". The number, first remembered well, but then wrapped up and gradually forgot. All hope was on the video. I came home, I watched, and the registrar, the dog, also did not record, with him this happens. I need to buy new.

The only thing I remembered with certainty was that the evil offender had a painfully good karma, and he was fantastically lucky, even jealous. Try to look for these signs. All good to you, you can not thank...

I hanged the phone and turned off the phone. Next time I’ll turn it on in a month, maybe in three. After all, this is a special phone, only for communication with online shops and new, unexpected friends.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №148687
 01.02.2018
“This is the point!",- Chubais thought, not seeing his surname in the "Kremlin list of the United States"... For the first time in many years he was on the verge of failure.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148686
 01.02.2018
I don’t like the moment when you do any male work, and your wife decides to look at you and check the process. So you can get on your hand with a question like, “What is this? Why did you do so? Shouldn’t it be different?”I cut it off immediately, saying, “I haven’t done it yet! Boot, why are you asking, and you don’t understand anything about it? This is the process, and I do what is appropriate. If I do, I will call.” And where she yxoit, I crampfully begin to rework it, then what she was right.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148685
 01.02.2018
I bought a house. The elderly neighbors (husband and wife) brought instructions for accommodation. Children do not run (shyem), construction works do not lead (noise), the car do not heat (gases), do not fry (scars, smoke), the antenna grounded with a screened cable (from lightning) and many more items. For non-compliance with points - enmity. I told him what I was going to do to the Gypsies. No greetings anymore.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №148684
 01.02.2018
Corrie has a birthday. He does not drink alcohol. I decided to congratulate the ego without being wise, such as eating candy to seduce women, and using condoms to avoid consequences! In the store on the box I put a box of "Ferrero Roche" and a pack of Durech. The boxer blinking:
Could you take another champagne?
I am :
He does not drink...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna