My father once said a phrase that gave the setup for a lifetime:
Better a curved nail than a shrouded screw.
÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷
It is visible. My dad’s only advice was confusing.

KolkhozNik: Don’t pay attention, there are not so many of us here who will stand for their land.
Who owns this land?
I have, by the way, four pots on the window!

In Bangladesh, a hundred-year-old crocodile died of too many bats

In the real sense, I ate it!

The wife talks about something with her niece, and she agrees in everything: yes, yes, yes.
At the end of the conversation, the spouse with disappointment in the voice: "And when will you resist then start".

Don’t go after Philip Philip! The servant must live in the kitchen, ha-ha! I had to visit an old house. Where in the hall you could put a table for 40 persons and there was still room for dancing. Where really was the room for the servant in the kitchen...You know, the room 4x4m, somehow you won’t call it neither chulan, nor camorka...Yes, it’s less than the bathroom, there are squares 20, but still...I have a kitchen 9 m and a bedroom 9 m...I’m not a servant. I am a highly qualified specialist. Oh oh!

Admin, do the third button "??" which can be swallowed. Some quotes cause confusion instead of laughter.

News from Rio:
Scientist: Crocodiles are attached to people and play with them not worse than dogs... People also play with food :)

Stay: did not wear the hat or the shirt forgot that she was sick?

I got a cold when my cat walked out the window.

Stay : Why?

Snow, look at this street.

I was sick –

Russia lacks space warning system for missile attack

The comments:

Alexhunt: I think it’s better not to know when it’s going to run than to wait for 15 minutes of flight time.
Andrey_fantom: and no one was going to tell you about it.

It is about data transmission environments.
Teacher: Do you remember this?
Student: Yes, of course, now they have started putting the phone to control the TV.
Q: Why is the phone so functional?
C: How is it? It’s the phone that you can finally call.

This from the top:

The fucking. I mean, I haven’t seen those 50 shades of gray and I won’t look at them.

– – – – –

Oh shit, you are unknown. You’re alone, fucking digging, haven’t watched a movie that’s coming out, fucking, tomorrow!

About the upbringing of cats: I watch a cute kitten - scratches, then begins to scratch and bite - on the pope, at the first attempt... grew up. cat red under four kilos, but : on the table with me does not climb (at mom please), does not scratch me (mama please), does not scratch anything at all, with me or without me, because I will lead, tick my nose and pope... is afraid, respects and loves, cancels the last action on the look, scratches and loves, comes to sleep... just on any "no" action on pope... and he is aware and understands that it is not. I see what he wants, eat, drink, toilet... and he loves and respects... and he knows that the couch does not need to be beat... a child of one and a half years has his tail twisted – and the cat is spinning and looks complaining at me... took the unharmed child, gave the pope (more tail does not turn, the child is cel.. the cat quietly eats food, the croucher looks but does not touch – this is, education, the rest – all-permissiveness with which everything grows.

My brother had a turtle... they thought it fell asleep... and it was asleep for six months... it even dried up...

I went out to read something funny, loaded with new knowledge.

to this:

If a survey was conducted among 5,000 people cut off at the Uralvagon plant, 99.99% would say that Obama was to blame for the cuts.

What does the other half-man think?

A good title for a programming book:
50 Shades of JavaScript

A pleasant winter evening in a family circle. Discussing the Estate
Sister: Okay Google: How old is Cobson?
...
...
Oh well? What is hanging? Okay Google: How old is Cobson?

Mother: Don’t turn the phone. He did not hang, he thought.

3 years ago I made a temporary registration at the Uffms of Volgograd - I was carried out the brain, shed blood and shattered the psyche (the basement, narrow corridors, crowds of people incompatible with my misanthropy, bureaucracy and paper obscurity)not to mention the time spent, two, beaten, days!!! It’s time to extend: I’ve settled up in advance (pustler and valerian: o. weny cocktail, I’ll report to you). I come to the same basement - everything is the same, electricity hangs on the door, Russian! Go there, there’s everything for you.
He shrugged his shoulders and went. I came... and the square, where I was?light, warmth, ceiling for giraffes, the people at least and still met affectionately.all explained, all showed, promised in 20 minutes to do everything at a convenient time for me...I am in shock- my cocktail is magical?

Duche3d: Unfortunately, the roots of my hands are too close to the cross spine to even think about such manipulations.

Lightbit: We have fire here. Vasily Evgenievich tells someone on the phone that a person of fifty years of birth cannot be a member of the WOW, although this is written in the system.