bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №59998
 12.02.2012
As the saying goes, who gets up early is a member.

[ + 48 - ] [12 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59997
 12.02.2012
Today I argued with a physicist that two parallel straight lines can intersect in space and proved it... Her revenge was immediate, she enrolled me for the physics Olympiad...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №59996
 12.02.2012
I am
Think what to cook for you.

The Boy
already invented

I am
Well, let’s talk

The Boy
Salad of tomatoes and cucumbers with greens

The Boy
and fried potatoes

I am
Is there anything more complicated? ;)

The Boy
And all to cut will have to stand on one leg on a chair.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59995
 12.02.2012
>>> You are a complete idiot
<<<< ((
<<< you are not too thin, I want to note

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59994
 12.02.2012
We also have fun with the road traffic - freezes
on the Belitsky broke the pipe - filled the corner of Belitsky and Siretsky, and there is just the descent
Kola-supplier says he was driving to stop impossible, the car slips on the ice
Two cars went into each other, the police called the police, the car of Gaia also could not stop... and entered these two.

[ + 44 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59993
 12.02.2012
I have a super offer. And let’s show in the election filled ballots in the chamber. Just try to calculate incorrectly.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №59992
 12.02.2012
There was just Homo. I, the owner of the common name Alexander, will come home after a walk. At home there is a telephone, the households are watching a movie. I just enter the door, and I have a woman’s voice from the threshold.
Hello to you, Sasha.
I: I am at home.
The Home: Hi
Q: Have you already returned?
I am: Well, yes...
I wanted to invite you to the exhibition. It will be interesting.
I: I do not mind. Just for!
And the wild rust of the households silences the answer to the calf. Because of them I listened to where they were called and at what time. Forget it!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №59991
 12.02.2012
YYYY :
I drink in measure.
The xxx:
I am sober, so in moderation.
The xxx:
I can stand, so I am sober.
The xxx:
And the fact that I was fooled is not an indicator, I was fooled by the ugly political regime.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №59990
 12.02.2012
The Swiss Pascal Prokop installed in his Volvo 240 1990 release a real furnace. “When I get tired or drink too much, I like to sleep right in the car, and this winter is very cold,” Pascal explains his decision. “And then you throw the drizzle bigger and it gets so warm, cozy...”

And you say Chelyabinsk, Chelyabinsk...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №59989
 12.02.2012
When will I stop trying to get around the thrown-out tree at night?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №59988
 12.02.2012
(from the youth of my father)
He had a Ukrainian friend (D), gently speaking, a full-hearted boy.
So these two 14-year-old acne boys sit on the balcony of the 2nd floor and watch the girls.
A beautiful girl in a mini jersey.
My friend: This is shit!
The girl, turning around and looking carefully at the guy: Oh this harya!

[ + 37 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59987
 12.02.2012
Nature didn’t love men, and they didn’t.
She gave me only one stick, and
I’m looking forward to it ? ?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №59986
 12.02.2012
The news:
"The Bal-E missile system entered the use of the Caspian Fleet"
Comments are burning:

ac1dgreen: Bal-E should have a friend Wall-E =)
Lifewalker: Bal-E Kagbe hints us what he did with all the enemy ships nearby.
...
ac1dgreen: I thought so. It will be exported under the name Uck-F.

[ + 66 - ] [16 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59985
 12.02.2012
And let’s remember what you can do in the absence of a computer. Well, we all had such a time, like a relatively adult generation gathered.
to sing. But there is a risk that the computer will work again.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №59984
 12.02.2012
XXX: Listen, I like to hide. One evening I approached my mother with a complaint: “Mom, I’ve pulled a brush somewhere.” What was the answer: "What is a mouse?"...
xxx: The reaction of the father most delighted: "Baba you need... BAAAABUUUU"

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59983
 12.02.2012
My favorite Sberbank.
I take cash from the card today, there is a new interface. I enter the amount of 3500 p, then the choice: 1. repeat the input, 2. large notes, 3. with the exchange. Buttons "pofigu" did not appear, I choose "big" and I get 35 hundred bills. I am standing, I am counting. I’m even afraid to guess what I’d get off if I chose "with exchange"!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №59982
 12.02.2012
xxx: You won’t believe, it turns out to be a cartoon "Bambi meets Godzilla".
YYY : %
You won’t believe it, but it has a continuation. "Son of Bambi meets Godzilla"
Yyy: In spite of the obvious, Godzilla survived.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №59981
 12.02.2012
XHH: Just in the last few days the horror movies have somehow annoyed me.
WOW: How elegantly you said you were a referrer.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №59980
 12.02.2012
that is, you changed him, he was a little too competitive and you accidentally split up?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №59979
 12.02.2012
From the children’s broadcast:
They represent the participants of the team – it is Vasya, so many years, engaged in chess, it is Masha, loves music, etc... It is Lisa, she is a big dreamer – she wants people all over the world to live long and happy!


The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna