bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93694
 09.02.2014
Debate on the stop of Bitcoin exchange in Russia:
Firsto: The joke of the day: "The student who shot at a Moscow school watched the TV channel "Rain" a week before the tragedy, and purchased weapons in a foreign online store, having paid in bitcoins. It is also known that the parents of the child were a same-sex couple who voted for Navalny at the elections to the mayor of Moscow.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93693
 09.02.2014
to this:
My friend (D) was in the military. The case came to the psychiatrist (p):
Q: Are there suicides in the family?
D: not
Q: And what about you?
D: not
Q: Are you going?
D :...

When I went to the army (and I went at 22 years, after graduation from the institute) at the last medical commission in the Gorvoenkomate, the psychiatrist, without raising his head, with a tired voice and with a light ambre asked: "Do you want to go to the army?" - already prepared to hear the next "no," and write in the case "good." But my vivid affirmative response (and that was pure truth) made him raise his head and tremble a little. I looked at a personal case: a 22-year-old man, a higher technical and wants to serve in the army - there is obviously something wrong with the psyche.
Is the head okay?
I do not complain.
Were there shocks?
They were. I once played boxing.
Pause, and the decisive control question:
And married?
and no.
and facilitated:
Well then it is okay. Worth it!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93692
 09.02.2014
Child 3 years. I teach a man how to fight the icota.
“Daughter, in order not to yell, it is necessary to say, yell, yell, go to Fedot, from Fedot to Jacob, from Jacob to everyone. and repeat.
Icota, Icota, go away from it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93691
 09.02.2014
to this:

Q: Are there suicides in the family?
D: not
Q: And what about you?
D: not
Q: Are you going?
D :...
_________________________________________
And I had it...
Q: Did you have thoughts of suicide?
I : No.
Q: Is there a bad mood?
I: Yes, as with any normal person.
Q: Why was there no thought of suicide then?
I: O_O

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93690
 09.02.2014
The right guys go to the Winter Olympics in shorts!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93689
 09.02.2014
I wake up in the morning of my husband, he does not open his eyes:
I get up, you just don’t see.
I see everything, you don’t get up.
I am accumulating courage.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93688
 09.02.2014
to this:

"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Stonehenge is like a calendar. Can you imagine what they had with the clock?"

Cuckoo, you must assume, still lives in Loch Ness.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93687
 09.02.2014
Question: How to determine that the cheese with mold is gone?

Answer: He is nowhere.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93686
 08.02.2014
On the official website of Sochi 2014 there is a video of the opening. Released to YouTube and blocked for copyright infringement

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93685
 08.02.2014
Today my grandmother, almost 90 years old, asks: How old are you, 25?
28 soon
She (surprisingly): No fucking herself...meaning 30 soon?
See also: AGA
B: What do you do when I get my first child at 35?
I : probably :)
B: Yes, they are on the fucking, don’t give birth at all:)))

I felt like a heroine of some art house :) but I laughed :)

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93684
 08.02.2014
In Sochi, the correspondent of the foreign media was deprived of accreditation for the fact that he broke the door pen in the hotel and photographed them.

The photo of the rusty water in the Sochi hotel turned out to be a two-year-old photo from an article on the problems of utilities in Ukraine.

When there are no problems, they have to be invented. Don’t give god, the fan with a known substance will stop.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93683
 08.02.2014
From the Zoo:

Not a cat or a dog. I want something else. And it is desirable that it does not require much care.

YYY: The Tarakans They are silent, unpretentious, breed well, create an atmosphere of family comfort, crawling onto the table during lunch and swirling with their eyebrows, welcoming the owner.

Or the mice. Beautiful gray pieces that will run around the house. And in the winter and all the beauty - lower your feet in the boots, and there warm and soft, the mice with the heat of their little bodies heated your boots.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93682
 08.02.2014
I like these touch screens, use the app for a year, then finger dirt from the screen erase - learned about three new features!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №93681
 08.02.2014
- One of me in the numbers X X II seemed to be an inappropriate word?
So, how much of your mind has been wiped up once you’ve seen that shit?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93680
 08.02.2014
I don’t have a car, but there’s a huge list of songs I imagine like I’m going to turn on when I’m driving!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93679
 08.02.2014
Buy a shirt in the store.
I: I like this one.
G: You got all black to wear, buy better green!
I: What do you not know? Every man should have a little black shirt.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93678
 08.02.2014
> >elik is now uploading an update, says there healed some bugs.
This is FIGN.
I have an e-cigarette, I call it ‘cossack’ because I’m swallowing it with my own mix of fragrances. Charge from USB.
Here 10 years ago to say that I struck the straw with an orange and smoked from the TV - here is where 03 called b :)

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №93677
 08.02.2014
I am alone when I performed the anthem at the Olympics, I sang the Party... Lenin’s power of the people leads us to the triumph of communism.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №93676
 08.02.2014
HH: I understood it all! They need energy!
The cat is upset, you mourn, and you start to lick it.
When you smooth a cat, static electricity is produced, the cat accumulates it and transmits it to its true owners!
Not the cat! Not the cat, the fucking cat!! to

[ + 44 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93675
 08.02.2014
Tell me, am I one of those idiots who still can’t deal with the fucking Windows Media Player and its library?! to

one one. Normal people take it all off and put any hollow player out of hundreds of existing ones to their taste.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna