From the news:
The unknown launched four missiles and one salute in the direction of the helicopter. The helicopter hangs over the launch site of the missiles and studies the situation.
How they politically correctly described the word "ohuel".

Judging by the number of incoming SMS messages, my girlfriend’s name is MTS =(

It turned out that my wife has a good musical taste.She cannot tolerate Stas Mikhailov.

He realized that he was raising his daughter correctly.
I came from work today and woke up. In the bathroom swims a kilogram of nuts, plays slicknot, the daughter runs in anti-gas and a white coat.
I: Did you put nuts in the bath?
Her questions frustrate me. It is a brain in formaline. I play a pathologist.
9 year old child.

From the Eve article:
" "flown for a week to Pattaya - boys - there are such calves!" (Pattaya bodies the main thing is to watch a kadyk; smart people advised)"

Women spend their whole life on very exciting weight loss activities.

yyy: On the new job is not configured Internet.I wrote an application to the IT department, something like I ask to set up the internet bla bla bla, everything is official.
YYY: The next day I was told in the department that they didn’t understand them, and asked to write simply and clearly.
yyy: Next time I’ll bring a screw with the inscription "AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!It’s not working!!!and "

Ace is
Shoot from the gun!

is
The gun is not comfortable.

Ace is
It is not convenient to shoot.

Hello, have you slept?
Hello to you! No, yesterday with Katie until three we sat talking.
What did we talk about so long?
About you, about the men.
And to what conclusions have you come?
We need to talk to you seriously!
- O_O

Now, thinking that I am sleeping, my husband stumbled on the table with wires, quietly and without asking, stitched my laptop and immediately jumped to the toilet with a vigorous step.I now have two questions: 1) naked and 2) curious, does he do it every night?

Oh well,

We discuss with (D)evushka how we will spend the weekend:
I: Sunny, maybe we go to the cinema, I’ll give you flowers, we’ll walk...
D: Well, fuck, let’s order better food, let’s go and eat.
I want to make her an offer.

Then your kids will talk the same way.

I watched the movie "The Stone" this weekend. This is where Svetlakov played a serious role as a murderer.
This role was played by Russian Jason Statham.
Why then made such an impression on his mimic that at any moment he can roast, even from the poster at the cinema.

Series "24" Season 2 Sound in one monotonous voice, for the video salons of the 90s.

The original:
Because this is going to be the best day of my life!

Translation of:
Because this is the happiest day in my life! (Pause, then short) Although, in general, he has not yet arrived.

The translator is out :)

Dyvo

From the diary:
Accidentally in the net encountered a questionnaire, for social research, the question:
You can afford expensive purchases for cash:
Example: a two-deck yacht
Holi is so small, freeze to blet!by 11

The Romantic Beast:

We discuss with (D)evushka how we will spend the weekend:
I: Sunny, maybe we go to the cinema, I’ll give you flowers, we’ll walk...
D: Well, fuck, let’s order better food, let’s go and eat.
I want to make her an offer.

To fuck a fat-mothering cow for the rest of his life.

The cat has erogenous zones behind her ears... slapped, she wrapped a whistleblower, put her leg on me. Showing my sister...
That’s not to run away?

A few years ago at the military school, during the sampo, a lecturer in the rank of Lieutenant Colonel gave us advice for an important exam. At the end of the consultation, the head of the course (in the rank of a major) comes to us and asks the teacher the question:...PO?What time is the consultation? He is silent... S... PO? again silence (seemingly he didn’t understand what they wanted from him). For the fourth or fifth time:
A... a... a... a?
Lieutenant Colonel: It would be.
Plus someone from the students added with the voice of Nikolai Drozov:
We heard a conversation between two officers.

xxh: and Depp at the end of the film breathes from an overdose)
The red whore is alive.
Tagged: spoiler pl
WOW :/
Tagged: UPS
Sorry, I didn’t think you wanted to see.
by :R
You know when I first showed you my breasts on Skype, it was also a spoiler.
No to no :)
This is a trailer :R

In the wagons of the ring line of the Moscow metro began to appear wifi.
The day I walk through the station.

Someone created the Earth, the rest is made in China