From the discussion of another Chinese miracle - "phytolamps"

Mmm: Comrades experts, but how much crop can you grow under a lamp? Is it worth it at all, or is it all purely for Pontus?

SSH: I have taken it. First one, then four. Because it really works. I had a tree on the balcony. I threw her out of the room there in March - the grandmothers were tired of weeping already - she was there and lay on the floor. The needles are over, all things are there, one sorcery remains terrible. I wanted to throw it out of the balcony, but there is that shit of the neighbor - Maybach. I didn’t throw that shit! And then I took the lamp, so that the fruits on the seedlings went up to the potato - the root! Lighted this lamp on the root, and on the tree accidentally, and then the tree crumbled!!! The roots of the beetle started immediately!! And then I accidentally locked the cat on the balcony. In the morning I go out to smoke, and there are eggs. Not a cat. The cat is no more!! But he dropped! Large specifically, like C0, a whole dozen, and the cat is happy! I took three more lamps later. The guys!! I will not even tell you what my tree started to grow, and what other meat and dairy products the cat began to issue!!! You won’t believe it, but you shouldn’t!!! Check it yourself! Get these lights right now and check out!!! to

To believe in a bright tomorrow, knowing that yesterday was better than today, can only those who are dumb.

Angels and maniacs.

Climbing in the transition of the subway from the ring to the radial, I picked up for a warm forearm a girl who stumbled around the staircase next to me. She turned to the slightly unshaken, but still heavenly beauty of her angel-savior and whispered “Thank you.” Negligently smiling, "more accurately, sweet lady," the angel-saviour of the descending and falling on the stairs of the girls moved to his platform and entered the new (Sobyaninsky, they suggested) subway wagon.
I stand and... right. I do not touch anyone. I soundlessly swing my lips, count the metro station to "Kotelnikov" and at the same time pretend that this branch will be laid down to Shack or, in the end, to Ryazan.
Here is my platform. There is a girl in front of the door. “Sorry, are you going out?” she turned and sneered. Then she turned around again and stirred me with a slightly suspicious and quite a little cautious look. Fathers, this is she, saved by me – a simple and unknown hero, that little girl, who on “Taganskaya” almost stumbled! The beautiful angel from the province smiled to her in all his snow-white twenty-four teeth, and the ungrateful witch took to turn away. As soon as the door opened, she instantly shut up. Strange people, these mosquitoes.
Okay to CH.
I go out of the subway and look for my bus. Long sought... people, dirt, cars, buses and long red lights on the crossings. A normal spring, my grandfather.
At the stop he stood away from people to smoke. Someone was already smoking behind a pillar and a roof and I also walked around the corner. Should I tell you who I encountered?
She said “oh” and, pushing me, ran away. Probably the bus approached her.
In a few minutes I saw them both. She did not sit on the bus. Instead of the bus, there was a police officer with her. They went to my side. The sergeant had cold and steel eyes, and apparently in vain the creature I saved had the index finger stretched to my side.
Crying to them from a distance, "we, the maniacs of the Divevsky district of the Nizhny Novgorod region, just don't give up!", the angel jumped into the first bus, which had already closed the doors and was such.
No, I understand her, of course... But a bit offensive.

- I will now prescribe you pills, you will take them five times a day after meals.
Doctor, where can I get so much food?

YYY: You often shoot in the control light. Why do you most often shoot against the light?
Xhx: I have always been against everyone since I was a kid. Against the rules, against the stereotypes. When I took the camera in my hands, someone told me not to shoot against the light. From those I shoot, against the light. I am against the light.

The secret always becomes obvious. But almost always everybody is gone.

There were two men at the entrance with boxes, one of them with red mirrors, the other with blue. The Matrix?

and Marty. The eighth.

Reworked - it is when you leave the office, sit in your Mazeratti and a half-hour you can't remember how it started. And it seems like it’s almost done, but you wake up at 11 o’clock in the evening, still at work.

The article of the news agency:

Dear readers of Tia! Thro the past week, our editorial was rejected by Roskomnadzor: we removed links to the songs of the group "Leningrad" from your comments.

Printed links are not hyperlinks. From the comments, not from the texts of our articles. References in which there is no hint of obscene blasphemy are only a set of symbols.<...> On our reasonable remarks that the references themselves do not include obscene vocabulary, Roskomnadzor threatened TIA with a court.

We very much ask you not to refer to the group "Leningrad" in the comments, so that the department does not worry over again and sleep peacefully, and therefore less worry us.

With respect, your editorial TIA

P.S Naming songs is not forbidden.

Platoon: They say that in the high year the deaths are more
LmD_ex3151: Absolutely correct. Approximately 1/365 more

There was also news about ice cream from breast milk. But most people under such news write "fuu", "buye", and "how can you eat such things at all, this is human excretion".

Wow, that is. These animals are not embarrassing.

Qqq: Honey is semi-digested and insect-blown excretions of plant genitals.

In our city, the head of the cultural department at the administration clashed with the director of the city museum. The battle of the Titans because of the Swan :) such a culture in the Long Prudence!

and fucking. I want to sleep with a CO2 sensor. I suspect these things are somehow connected.

Congratulations to our girls at work today - gave pocket mirrors with the company logo. There were two men at the entrance with boxes, one of them with red mirrors, the other with blue. The Matrix?

More than Magomedov Andrei Ibrahimovich can be only Magomedov Andrei Moiseevich.

Corporate correspondence on the network.

The Secretary: Dear colleagues! Good morning! By order of the director today we work without lunch until 15.30. The weekends are 5.6, 7.8 March.

Anonymous: Do you have the right to leave without lunch?

Anonymous 2: Eat unnoticed under the table

Stahash: I read the Old Testament. Ufff. It was long but interesting :)

Whc: You don’t spoil you, right?

From the Freelancer website:
"We need 3D artists to model car parts"

Artists
Artists of Suga
I am an artist!
I am a 3D artist.
Everyone thought what the shit I was doing was called.
The 3D artist.

The Favourite! I will give you a quote on the main!)

I have two news, good and bad. Which to start?
Go with the bad.
I fucked them.
Wife : Who?
The Man: Money
Wife: What are they?
Man: Those of the Good News
Wife: What is the good news?
Yesterday I won the 12th. of the thousand that you have left on the map.
Wife of Uriah! I have never won anything in my life! Have you already figured out what to give me? Murmurmoor
Wife: Stop
You are fucking fucking (

The consciousness dies with the halting of chemical processes.
Yyy: What happens to your consciousness after you die?
zzz: yyy, when the computer dies what happens to its OS?
YYY: I believe that it re-incorporates into another machine, installs again and again, upgrades again and again, and dies again and again.
zzz: And I don't remember anything about my previous installations
Thank you, you made me feel like a serial killer.