bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149880
 21.03.2018
I sit in the evening without touching anyone, reading a book. The husband arrives, begins to dress up: “All the little girl has fallen asleep, I’m ready.” I pulled out the book, awaiting the continuation, removed the maika, bowed, whispered:
M: Let’s go now...or I’ll forget.
I am – Eeeeem? OOO
M: What is it? I told you half an hour ago, my back hurts, I need to wipe the ointment, let’s now, or then I’ll forget.)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149879
 21.03.2018
We live in a country of bright future. I want to live in a world of light!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149878
 21.03.2018
The year 90. of Donetsk. The USSR.
There is a smell of money and pogroms in the air.
Some have already had them.
In the sense of money.
In other words, the pogroms.
In these circumstances, I am collecting manats to Israel. All affairs have already been settled, documents have been handed over and received, dollars have been exchanged, withdrawals have been paid to the state. I say goodbye to the city, friends and friends. Often in the evenings I sit in visits to a couple of close friends (Slavs), where we tremble for life and for Israel.
Friends have a daughter aged 4-5, who listens and absorbs our conversations and sometimes disturbs us with her childish ringing and disgusting voice.
A friend’s wife travels once a month with her daughter to their parents in Gorlovka.
In the bus.
The people rejected. In the good sense.
The next is from the words of my friend’s wife, decorated by me.
On the right of advertising: I sell oil paints consecrated by the 13th Apostle. and personally.)

They go by bus to Gorlovka. The morning. and autumn. The opposite rain.
Ugly and ugly.
The people in the bus are dark and angry. Especially those who are not lucky enough to sit.
The girl becomes bored and sad.
In order to dispel the sadness, a conversation with my mother was chosen.
The voice is loud and ringing.
The topic is, of course, the most appropriate.
(On the whole bus, irritating sleeping passengers) Mom! Where are we going?
and quiet! to Grandma.
- (The word "silent" is perceived as a guide to increase the volume) And when will we go to Israel?
The dark proletariat and the students who have joined it are interested in potential Jews.
Tension is increasing.

Silence, daughter, we are not going to Israel. Uncle Sasha is going to Israel.
(After feeling the awakening public attention, even louder) When are we going to Israel?
The people start to choke and ask each other whether they are going on the route, who is going out at the next stop in Israel, etc.
- (With the cheeks of the colour of first-class Russian rubies) Quiet, daughter, we can’t go to Israel. We are not allowed there.
After a brief pause, during which the Slavic girl suddenly discovered all the injustice of this world, the wickedness of the Jews in general and the Zionists in particular.
All the bus...
At the level of 130 decibels.
Oh yeah yeah yeah! Oh my mom!!! I want to go to Israel!!!! to

The further journey was undergoing continuous gooths and screams of the public.
The Woman! I want to go to Israel too!
I want to marry Uncle Sasha.
I want to go to Paris!
If you go to Israel, you pay for tickets.
I’m going to go to Nice!
Miner Haifa is a champion!
And the driver's verdict on the speaker:
Fuck you, not Israel. The bus is going to Biobidjan!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №149877
 21.03.2018
Do you remember Yavlinsky? We’ll see him next time in six years.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149876
 21.03.2018
>>>Even after the bombardment of the heights, (where is it at the tractor factory building of 73,5-100m high?) Those on which the roofs are fixed, It was difficult to shoot from the premises into the zenit) the fight did not stop. The Germans moved forward, pushing both guns and girls (which are on the roof of the 73.5m-high building). >>>>

At the time, buildings of 70+ meters were a monstrous rarity, and the height or height was called the defensive position on the hill / high point of the terrain. Everything will immediately get to its place.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149875
 21.03.2018
Separate branches are needed: first, Emergency moral support to get to the grandmothers on a leap of pressure, to show human attention, to listen to how forty years in the factory worked, the husband to the mistress dropped, the son drunk, and grandchildren are only waiting for her death, the maximum inked or excavated, second, educational, when the fourteen-year-old whistleblower came home drunk, and his mother, whistleblower was uncomfortable, demands that the baby wash the stomach to do, third, the real need for emergency medical care, which neither babies nor mothers will distract.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149874
 21.03.2018
Somebody in my house was constantly in the elevator. We got enough, and we put a video camera. Now we know who, despite the cameras, continues to demonstratively suck in the elevator...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149873
 21.03.2018
In the field of sight of the German tankers was the Stalingrad tractor plant. He was protected by 37 guns with calculations from volunteer girls.
The girls were not trained to fire on the tanks, but there was no way out. The tankers first opened fire on the guns, destroying the aircraft together with the calculation. But in response, Soviet artillery began to shoot on tanks with direct guidance, which surprised even experienced tankers.
After several unsuccessful attacks, Wittersheim ordered the aircraft to be thrown into combat. Even after the bombing of the heights, on which the anti-aircraft calculations were fixed, the fight did not stop. The Germans moved forward, pushing both guns and girls. Almost entirely interrupted and workers from the factory who came out to fight.
From 23 to 24 August 1942, the total 1077 regiment aircraft were beaten 83 tanks, of which 33 were destroyed; further destroyed 15 truck vehicles, three infantry battalions and two tanks with fuel, and also shot down by various data from 14 to 20 aircraft.
Fuck, Bondarchuk is a cattle!
That’s what a movie should be about!
Bondarczuk turned his victory into a defeat. The Swedes from the "Sabaton" more respectfully sang "the height of 3234", than Bondarchuk removed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149872
 21.03.2018
>> P. S. I am an atheist

An atheist is an atheist who passed the certification.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149871
 21.03.2018
>and I see how years later the sissamins will try to understand why in the teleportation channel of loss

The Goblin Reserve is a luxurious book in which there are also losses in the teleportation channel (or acquisitions).

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149870
 21.03.2018
Twice make the tea for yourself, again for the tea mushroom, and then throw the teaspoons in a bowl with watermelon.

That’s greed, and you’re a bit clumsy.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149869
 21.03.2018
We go out with my husband from the polling station, at the fence is a woman of 50, decently dressed, nothing predicted, shorter. Just matched with her, she immediately asks with warmth who we voted for. For Putin? No is? Right, he is a Jew! As I digest information, my husband is like this:

Wow, where were you before? Shirt, have you heard? How did we not know, we would vote for ours, not for the goy of somebody!

He begins to sing “Havu Nagila.” The woman looks around and, without turning her back to us, retreats to the corner of the house.

I’m glad to know that my husband is the dumbest of any city crazy.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149868
 20.03.2018
Can you change the lamp?
YYY: Yes at all. right now?
XXX: No, it doesn’t have to burn. In fact, this is the problem...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149867
 20.03.2018
#Hello, I am Dr. Liiyivsi"

>>>" #columbnivchemnevinovat " - Man, you look like you are from the eighties? Who else knew about Columbus?

We are many here!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149866
 20.03.2018
In my miserable childhood there was a single-legged boy - he played on a railroad.
WOW: In my barefoot childhood, four people were crushed by the crumbling soil: they dug the headquarters in a river slope. One was killed from the second floor of the building. One killed about the wall by a wind blowing the "tarzanka" (this was also at construction). One accidentally hanged on his belt while playing with his sister in the circus. One of them broke the skull with iron sticks (survived). One fell on a beaten glass (37 seams, luckily on the back). Who is more?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149865
 20.03.2018
When you understand that the phrase "in the 80s" is almost 40 years ago, you realize your old age (((

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149864
 20.03.2018
In the beginning was the Lord God, and there was no more Nihua.
He was bored.
And he created quarks, gravity, strong and weak interactions, electromagnetic waves, disassembled, assembled together, and saw that it was good.

And it went to work, earn, complicate and expand. Somewhere the stars burned, somewhere the organic formed, somewhere the vitality ran away.
The most intelligent vivacity has guessed that it is not just that someone created it all - and let us pray and ask: Lord, do us good!

How to do? You enter all these relationships that have been established, change at least something - here everything will be filled up! Do not prevent the car from working.

So it has been since: they are all praying and praying to him, but he sits and does nothing, because he cannot, though he is all-powerful.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149863
 20.03.2018
Why were children and adults older? Yes, because there were no pulmonary puppets) wearing bodybuilders and heavily weighing puppets - and as training for the special forces in armor vests))))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149862
 20.03.2018
The tape once wrote about a fun communist, a citizen of the People's Republic of China, who seduced boys and young guys to himself, and then passed them through an independently assembled unit with his own skillful hands. Through a giant meat machine.
It is!!!! to
Kisha has two such albums and a musical.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149861
 20.03.2018
I would like to clarify

I don’t like these condoms, contraceptives, etc. I prefer warm sex.

<correction of the penny on the nose>: - Sorry, but is there a lamp gonorrhea?

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