What distinguishes us from Americans?
At least there is common sense.

A white American woman gave birth to a black child while her husband served in Iraq, U.S. media reports.
According to the woman herself, she is pregnant from watching a 3D porn film and intends to demand the payment of alimony from one of the actors of the film.
According to the woman, a week after watching the film, she felt ill and bought a pregnancy test, which showed a positive result.
Interestingly, the husband of the "victim" supports his wife. He said 3D movies are incredibly realistic, so there is nothing surprising about the fact that his wife got pregnant from one of the actors.

taken from RBC

Captain Evidence works at the post office.
Print on notification:
The department is like that.
Regime of work:
pn pt.:08.00 - 20.00
Sb.:09.00 - 18.00
Break: from 13.00 to 14.00
Weekends : Weekends

Rackgool: Tell me something good
ChioDay: My leg hurts
Rackgool: I asked for something good.
ChioDay: Well it will soon pass

Skype correspondence with my mother (M):
I washed your stuff!
I: the sps
M: Pillow
I : wow! Mother! Do you know these things? 😉
M: What are they writing? I thought I invented it myself!

Namo
It happens, the elevators were constantly breaking, they caused some techics, they pulled people out and just let the elevators work, in general, they had to call somebody seriously in the days so that he thoroughly repaired the elevators...
Namo
In short, I don’t know how this is related, but both elevators smell church candles.

By the way, here a friend told a story... her son goes to the preparatory class in front of the school. So the teacher told: asked the children a question, and then the boy called to the board, said, knows the answer. I went out, I wrote it right. She praised him, and he let’s blow off at the board... And then all the kids picked up – stood up, and also started dancing... And the teacher then at the parental gathering: “There are 20 dancing kids...what should I do with them?and "

Matrim: By the way, I thought about whom to tell.
Matrim: My student told the girl I slept with that I was 100% gay.

If a husband needs regular sex with an unruly partner, then he should go to prostitutes, or buy a rubber woman, or have a goat at home!

If the wife does not want to provide regular sex, then there is already one goat in the house.

call to the radio station.
Listener: I would like to order for our Prime Minister Vladimir Putin the song of the group "Discotheca Avaria" "Zakolebal ty!"

16:13 : xxx : have to come to work at 8:00 on Friday :)
16:14 : yyy : ahah and work until dawn until the red circle does not descend beyond the horizon, then the master let us go home

SCHUMI: So tell me, why are the swaddled jeans on the pitch, and the swaddled sportswear of the fucks on the pitch??? to

On March 29, 2011, the first LADA Kalina, equipped with the GLONASS/GPS navigation system, came from the carrier.
Fuck it now with the shirt.

Yesterday I said, "My girl, well, I don't like strip bars, gambling and football."
I told him he was the perfect man for me because I love strip bars, gambling and football and he has to make money.
WOW: And what is he?
I said I was his gold.

Why, then, in American films, Russian cosmonauts in hats fly in space?
yyy: Ushanka well softens head strikes on the outgoing tubes. Russian space stations have pipes everywhere.
xxxx for channels?

The color of cars.
When a chameleonic paint just appeared on the market and was terribly fashionable, a friend was tempted and repainted his car. Thus, his gait when re-registering the color was written as "multicolored".

The guy who has a dish in the tax box, do you want, goodbye? If you bring a report on the flash drive, then you first go to a special office, there a specially trained lady copies it to you on the disc, and THERE, then you give the disc to the inspector. C-Petersburg, tax department of the Frunzen region.

"In Libya we do not support any of the parties." /NATO Secretary General Anders Fogh Rasmussen/
Thus e. The target indication when bombing sounds like "to whom God will send!" - so what?

Smoking warns: the Ministry of Health is not better.

Moscow Grand Academic Street. In the bus next to me was obviously a provincial grandfather with a more advanced 17-year-old grandson. We drive through a huge poster, on which the guy in dark glasses - a white smoking, a butterfly tie, on the face of the expression, like the English lord, who was instructed to personally take out the mowing cage.
Grandfather reads the signature on the poster: - TIMATI... Something familiar... Is this the German-Pidaras?
The grandson, phlegmatically: - About the German, grandfather, you did not guess.

I don’t understand why in Japan, robots dance, play violin, and talk without hesitation, while Japanese people are running around the nuclear plant at this time and trying to hand-pull it with water?