bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139912
 24.03.2017
How can two citizens be detained in four cities?? to
YYY: They were released for the first time.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139911
 24.03.2017
I don't smoke, but here's what confuses me, why on cigarette packs are all sorts of images of complications caused by smoking, and on candy boxes images of caries and diabetes - no? If you already advocate for a healthy lifestyle, then why not be honest to the end?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №139910
 24.03.2017
#Arrival #Arrival #Translator

The military came to the linguist-translator, they listen to the recording of a foreign language lasting barely half a minute. Ask to translate.

I am happy to believe that everything could happen. As Einstein said, “There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. I doubt the first thing.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139909
 24.03.2017
In the office where I previously worked, there was a small cockpit for part-time students. They were first hired, convinced that they would pay a part-rate - "You still do not have a higher education! " - but they would be allowed to the institute if necessary. Three months used these offshoots in the tail and in the hryvnia, including driving out to serve on weekends - then you will go on school leave, you will not work for two weeks! On the eve of the session, instead of sending them to school leave, they were kicked out by hitting a piece of paper wrongly filled or being late for five minutes. The latter turned usually without noise and dust - on young people and people without special life experience magic words such as "write on your own, or on the article!".

One day the scheme failed. The headquarters took an outsider to the law department, for some reason without looking at it, it was not a yesterday's schoolboy, slightly shrinking from the adult life that fell on him, and a thirty-year-old man who learned, flown out, served, worked, and now recovered from the outsourcing, and in life was quite well understood... In general, they negotiated on the agreement of the parties with the payment of several salaries. Many years have passed, and I am still wondering if the man for this brilliantly twisted operation immediately received a lawyer's degree without writing and defending the work.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139908
 24.03.2017
The fixed phone in the Matrix is still fine.

But why did the Star Desant chase the infantry against spiders? Why did the Federation not give the people tanks? You can’t get brushed with whispers. So many people could be saved. Who will answer for it?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139907
 24.03.2017
>>>>
...
You have been blocked on the Rambler/news portal before a reasoned explanation of your words.
...
<<<<

Did he write Rambler-Hambler?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139906
 24.03.2017
I have completed my first universe in Israel. For the first time I spoke to the secretary in Hebrew, not the sign language. Half-groups at once found out that the Russian speaks about

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №139905
 24.03.2017
From the forum on female depilation:
There is a night of love=) I decided to prepare during the day, waxing, legs and "all there=)" I went, bought wax strips "White"green. Once they were also on the stock, pleased, bought 3 packages. I think, Oh, it will be long enough. She sat in the bathroom, prepared, gathered with the spirit... well, and all as instructions: warm up in the palms, tear one from the other and stick to the right place. Started with the bikini area... Clamped... Waited... Waited... Well, and pulled! I wonder what doesn’t hurt? I look at the strip it is transparent (I remember the wax of the green color) - I look at my pissulla, and there all the wax and left... Wipes are not wiped out, it is frozen like glue. What to do? Soap, water, toothbrush went on - nothing helps! Picked Picked! I tortured until evening, shaved with a shave, took a single-use, 7 pieces changed - the wax was stuck. In the end, I have a green glue... well, you understand. I did not refuse sex, decided dark, did not notice, and whatever does not stick to me, we will be in the DOGY posture. In the spark of passion, I still found myself sitting face to face... and he was like a whirlwind – until the tears flowed! I look at my forehead, and there is a whirlwind with his whole hair... P.S. What are we girls to suffer alone? = = )

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139904
 24.03.2017
During the whole time, the labourer forced us in school to do shredders, as if he was in a conspiracy with the shredders and sold them the living space as a mortgage.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139903
 24.03.2017
<@edgbla> > The Ministry of Justice filed a lawsuit with the Supreme Court on March 17 to ban Jehovah’s Witnesses in Russia.
<@edgbla> well no
<@F1ReB4LL> Ministry of Justice
<@F1ReB4LL> for false testimony what?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №139902
 24.03.2017
News on one of the portals of Belarus: In Belarus began sales of the new BMW 5-Series. The first buyer is an Olympic champion in trampoline jumping.
One of my comments is: jumped.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139901
 24.03.2017
My teeth have always been ugly. Genetics, sweets and lenien. In the eighth grade I had a tooth illness, so bad that it was impossible to postpone a visit to the doctor. I took the card in the registry of our clinic and sat and waited. Besides me in front of the office was a very straight and tight girl. We have talked.

- I need to tear my tooth, - said Anja, - I would not go myself, I am very afraid. I promised my parents to go. I can’t do anything, I went and enough.



We jokingly discussed options for jumping out of the window, barricading the door of the office and calling the police for violence against children.



The door of the office opened and the next one was called. My friend unfortunately exhaled and escaped in the office, and five minutes later there were terrible sounds. Very long thunder and thunder. Of course, the fear-burned imagination painted horrifying pictures of violence. And five minutes later, Anya joyfully left the office and whispered: "I was tried to catch, but I did not give up! She’s so fun running around the chair, tired!”



I didn’t believe it, but the doctor had his hand tied. When I grabbed the bandage, the woman explained, “First I tried to escape through the window, then I bitten. “Are you not going to bite?”



I haven’t bitten since then. The doctor promised.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №139900
 24.03.2017
Will you borrow 1,000 rubles before Friday?

YYY: No

XXX is OK. To your next 10 questions, I will also answer “No”!

YYY: well

Do you borrow 1000 rubles before Friday?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139899
 24.03.2017
LIKE: Well, all the professionalism in our work is well described by the phrase from the 12 chairs: Kiss, tell me as an artist to the artist... do you know how to draw?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139898
 24.03.2017
Students send individual tasks: they are already aware that they should not use the names of boxes with pupsik, satana666 and others. I see spam – there is a message from some Fimas Half-Jed. Half-Jid interested – I see, and this is an individual work from the student.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139897
 24.03.2017
Agatha Christie has all the songs about love.
Not always people, not always alive, not always alive, not always people.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №139896
 24.03.2017
That’s the same... and tell, задолбун, to those who have already given birth to healthy children – can you finally smoke, drink and walk without a hat?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139895
 24.03.2017
The full season of The Simpsons was shown in 1989.In one of the first series, she was congratulated on her 34th birthday. For the 30th consecutive season, she still has 34. I was 34, and in 1989 I was seven.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139894
 24.03.2017
I’ve been working since the morning like I’m being paid here.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №139893
 24.03.2017
Waiting for the train. On the platform in front of me sits a guy with a phone and whispers in it:
Iris, listen to me! Only to nobody! The Secret! Only you and Nathan know.
The world is so narrow.

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