bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №149740
 15.03.2018
Where does this hellish idea, that ALL must multiply, come from, if not life has failed? Hereditary diseases, your body is not in the best condition? We are giving birth! Three rounds in a row? Birth is urgent! Without a partner? What a fairy tale, to give birth. No home, no money, no education? Say also, the diads out in the field were born and nothing! To give birth urgently, or else we will all die.
People often scare me and confuse me, yes.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149739
 15.03.2018
We meet with psychologists in the dressing room. The most interested are interested.
How is life?
and normal.
It cannot be normal. Nothing annoying? And in a number of points.
He once asked in response to himself:
How are you on the network, there are no phases? Does no one make noise on the line?
The eyes of the psychologist for some reason became large and round.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149738
 15.03.2018
With people it is difficult.
Here the student will hear somewhere that 2 + 2 is equal to 5 and will then begin to tell everyone that this is the case, and those who do not agree - cover with vulgar epithetics, such as lagging behind life. But the student immediately realizes that he is a fool. But if the 45-year-old man in a jacket begins to tell the same thing, you already involuntarily think, maybe he says it, because he knows something you don’t know. Especially if he is not rude to opponents, but just subtly follows them. In the crowd he will always find supporters who will consider him a guru, and only a few will be able to recognize in this authoritative, respected man the most ordinary fool.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149737
 15.03.2018
Journalist = g + urna + sheet

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №149736
 15.03.2018
At the end of the zero, a young guy Kesha worked at the MGU and did not know the grief until their department was raised in the rank - a whole faculty was opened on his base. It was headed by young men, initiative but inexperienced in the mining field of the domestic bureaucracy. Immediately obtained. They accepted four winners of the All-Russian Olympics outside of the competition. Three of them submitted the original certificates of victory in these Olympics, and one - only a photocopy. The commission stumbled. She stated that persons who submitted photocopies will not be accepted in the MGU. The deadline for submitting the originals is 2 days.

And here Kesha calls the phone of this student. out of reach. Call her parents. They report that their daughter has already departed from the Kazan station in the direction of Krasnoyarsk Territory. It will arrive in four days. They remembered that the original letters were right with her. The number of the car is unknown.

Kesha urgently thinks where to intercept the train. The Google Schedule. Cut in half an hour. He has a friend, a graduate student. call to him.

“Don’t ask why, but now you’re rushing to the railway station. I’ll explain it all along the way.

Kesha, are you o.o. what? I’m in the shelter with my friends. Overtaken a little. I don’t need to show people alive now.

You can and need! The fate of mankind. Are you sober among you?

Well yes Petya. He was stuck, his liver sat.

Go on and ride right away!

Half an hour later, the railway station. Parking speed train 10 minutes. In the car breaks into a buoy guy and rattles all the throat: Zemljanikina Ksenia! Congratulations, you have been admitted to the MSU! But what will you do if you don’t give me the original evidence of your victories at the Olympics!

From one of the coupe flew out of the diva and relentlessly gave the originals. The whole wagon blasted. I graduated with a red diploma.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149735
 15.03.2018
When I was in school, there were no guards. Everything was done by a cleaner with a wet cloth.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149734
 15.03.2018
<Powerpoop> Do you know how I’m different from you? I am strong. Not just body or muscles, but really strong will. People like you are afraid of me. No one dares to touch me, and if he touches me, he will regret it very much later. I always set the atmosphere, and the others either dive into it or go past it.
<Divanoid> If it wasn’t your nick, I’t know what you’re talking about.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149733
 15.03.2018
<Friends of Africa>
DarkCalderys: This is some sort of recycling of the water world, not fish.
Diana G: Yes. By the way, if they do not give "strong" food (shells, crabs), then the teeth do not clog and they have to be roasted in the hand.
crocodile: that is to say - to climb into the fist to this floating shredder? I would immediately sink him a piece of rail in the aquarium. Let him bite.
Voltage_H: I’t take that risk. Will he suddenly tighten the sharpness and get out on the rest of the railway?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149732
 15.03.2018
I read in Elle that if a guy doesn’t like your photos on Instagram, he doesn’t love you and he just needs sex.
XXX is not meant! and horror. as long as.
You don’t have an Instagram.
XXX: I know it. and pc.
YYY: The wrong answer. You have to say, “If I loved him, it’t have stopped him.”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149731
 15.03.2018
The apple apples

Progress is ruling, and children are chilly when medicine does everything for you.

Malice is not the most terrible, it is worse when children get stupid, but genetics is still poorly adjustable

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149730
 15.03.2018
We have seen these "shilopops". Orut, beating their heads about the party, spit on other children (literally), interfering with everyone, and mommies are all as written, hyperactive, curious... A curious child - he is, quietly leaves an illustrated encyclopedia about marine fauna and does not require secondary dances around his person.
1) from fig education and egocentricity,
2) The child turns out of boredom, because neither encyclopedies about the dolphin and the octopus, nor a box with pencil, nor any other means to occupy himself were offered to him - to reassure used only to rubbing Luntik on the iPhone,
3) The child is nervous and he is constantly on the squad,
The child has some physiological obstacles to concentration.
And so even with the most choleric temperament do not jump on the ears day and night.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149729
 15.03.2018
Meeting in a forum:
Hello to Pampers!! to
Do I have Windows or Google? I’ve always thought that Google but my favorite says Windows because everyone has Windows. But he himself is worth something else like latex but not Google and not Windows!!! I am confused!!(( (((Patch up the paddle!!!!!!! to

P.S Orthography and punctuation were strictly followed;)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149728
 15.03.2018
XXX: Right, it is enough to get a 3D scanner once with a 3D printer, and you can not wait for a sex toy. The only tool you need is a hammer.
YYY: Yes, as if, you can at all handle false means and don’t wait for sex toys or printers.
ZZZ: Lord, now your wives will read your stones, and you will be completely overlooked.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149727
 15.03.2018
"Video: Scientists from Switzerland taught a robot dog hip-hop".

I could teach you something good...

After Timati’s concert in Brooklyn, even blacks admitted that rap was shit!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149726
 14.03.2018
Mr. proud > Blind It was so uncomfortable.
At work, we have a single mom who loves to praise her unique and unique child. He does it loudly, without apology and honorably.
Constantly shows everyone his photo: here we are in school, here we get sick and the doctor, here we went on a journey.
And here I go on a day in the area, and a bunch of small ones run past me, and one is louder than everyone else, and also smokes.
I look, and my face is familiar. And on the machine: Seed, do not argue with the mate.
He looks at me and asks in complete silence, “How do you know me?”
I didn’t think of anything wiser to say except, “Hello Mom.”
Only now I understood why everybody around me was wild.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149725
 14.03.2018
Imagine the story of a spy:
Super-secret data is recorded on the flash drive, then the person responsible for the flash drive is killed by the bad guys. The main character chases the worst around the world, fights, shoots, participates in the pursuit. Finally, after taking possession of the promised flash, he transfers it to some CIA or MI6.
And then the flash is plugged into the computer – and it’s a shit – it’s not read.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149724
 14.03.2018
Here are all of you who advocate for natural selection and against preserving pregnancy, and you are sure that you would exist without doctors?
I was absolutely healthy from childhood, engaged in sports and until the age of 30 did not understand how this person can get sick. Well, when they hit - it is understandable, but just so... I went to the doctor only for a medical examination. I don’t even have a bite. I tell you not to talk about pathology.
And when my wife became pregnant and lay down, my mother told me how she was walking with me, or more precisely lying down. I am in favour of preserving pregnancy. I like to live.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149723
 14.03.2018
>> "square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square"square
> Do you see X? Full of. Dyby naappimep - in kolićectvax, in a gopoode g ect.

It is not visible from the window of the room. In which the conspirators are placed.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149722
 14.03.2018
The childish
My sister was diagnosed with developmental retardation by a psychologist when she entered school because she thought long before responding. However, the sister graduated from school with a gold medal, the institute with a red diploma and works in the specialty. She is a physicist (not a teacher). So if the child is quiet, silent and long thinking about the answer, it does not mean that he is ameba. And shutters in this case do not distract, but prevent from thinking.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149721
 14.03.2018
And here you’re in the back: "How are you doing, guy?" From the dark. At three o’clock at night. The voice is unrecognizable. The MLA! What a happiness! The pope spoke! And that I started, so who cares?! to

It’s the same with kids.)

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