zzz: What if I give a description of a non-existent book here?
DED: They will find and force you to read.
ZZZ: And if...
Ded: They will find and force you to read under the fan with the cacao.

by Habr
I remember at a workshop on wrestling someone asked the coach the question: "How to correctly take the perfect blow?". I immediately imagined an absolutely hard fist with a mass close to infinity, moving at a speed close to the speed of light, and making absolutely unelastique contact with the jaw... theoretically the energy thrown into the heat could be enough to destroy the galaxy.

My wife went to work before me.
He sits next to the bed, kisses me and says:
Well, my dear, stay with God.
- No, I’d rather stay with the cat (the cat sleeps in his legs).
Stay a Scottish.

Continued by:

There is no library here! Maybe enough? The number of requests about books exaggerates the number of " funny quotes" in times!! Learn to google yourself! In general, it is surprising how with such inability to use elementary search on the Internet, you found this site.


Do not be surprised. Here already jumped the idea that this way attracts attention to interesting books...
And nobody prevents you from changing the proportion towards humor.

Big changes are coming.
said the gray chameleon
And suddenly flowers.
Friendly neighboring country

Arhistratig, 11.06.2012

It is time to hold a referendum, announce the creation of a Siberian republic and withdraw from Russia. Approximately in Urals.

Oh! The Siberian Republic. Old American project... Obama, we know it’s you, go under your name, stop hiding!
-

You confused something. This is not Obama’s project, but Xi Jinping’s.

A year ago, the doctor gave me anxiety pills, telling me to eat them when I feel anxious.
I sit down and eat them because I’m worried that the expiration date will end next month.

Yesterday it was Friday, the DR, on the street was -6.
Today we wake up, I go out on the balcony - on the street +13...
The first thought:
Have we worn a week?! to

by Sergei Petuchov:
I eat mushrooms, I look at carpets.
by Anton Borayko:
I always do that, but there is news about Ukraine!

Russia has expanded adiabatically. It was cold and snow fell.

In that year, the main thing was not to learn the subject they taught, and not to upset when pronouncing their FIO.

That’s shit, not quotation. We had two Boris, but one Roaldovich, and the other, fucking, Roaldovich. "And do not be confused!"

In Star Wars Episode 7, the Emperor will be resurrected.
Oh my God, Naomi?
He will appear and tell a terrible story.
Luke, I am your grandfather!

Tymoshenko behaves like a monkey who thinks she has a grenade.

My friend recently quit smoking. We talk to him about it.
I: Which inscription on a pack of cigarettes seemed to you the most terrifying?
It is 58 rubles.

The city of intellectuals! Now we are back with a guy from the store, the time of evening, eleven o’clock. Going through the courtyard, it is dark. Here, from the corner, a nine goes out, stops in front of us, a guy comes out and says:
Sorry please! You don’t know, alcohol up to 10 or up to 11 is sold?
For him, up to 10.
The man, obviously disgusting, cries: "Bard!"
He leaned to the guys in the car: "Beard!" Those in response:"Borodaya!" Even we in response left, saying yes, no luck, you didn’t have time.
Sitting in the car and leaving!
Not a single blunt word! The cultural capital, Yapt!

I was deeply pregnant, 8 or 8.5 months. The belly has already become a stomach, large and round, well in the sense... very noticeable. One day I was going to visit a friend. I call her to tell her that I am going out, and she asks me on the way to go to the pharmacy and buy... a pregnancy test.
I go to the pharmacy, approach the window and say to my aunt in a white coat:
Hi to you! Please do a pregnancy test.
My aunt looks at me carefully. First in my eyes, then very attentively on my not small stomach, then again in my eyes and with a gentle, kind, stealthy voice asks:
What do you doubt?
I, entering into the essence of what is happening, say with a stone face:
and yes!

Another fighter on NTV. Brutal uncles and aunts with machine guns and rifles on a boat chase the boat in which other bad uncles sit. Unable to catch up, continuous shooting, in the end "non-standard" heroic effort of a aunt-sniper manages to get into the bad uncle and at the same time in the engine of the boat. The boat stops. All are happy, the heroes earned medals and stars, the bandits are caught.
One I sit down and think: what ice it would have been for an hour to chase this very boat and arrange this whole show, if the brutal uncles and aunts just had to ask for an automatic row on the side of this very boat, because the boards are inflatable! And after all, in the course of the shooting, they repeatedly had to get into this boat, since everyone, except the most harsh aunt, is hopelessly dirty.)

Here all argue about the "we have good pensions", "we have small pensions, we appear to live in different countries".This is the fact that in different regions and cities everything is different.Someone is lucky with the governors-mayors, who regulate the internal policy of the region in favor of the people who live there. There are those who spit on the people. I live in a city with less than 100,000 inhabitants. Here the roads are licked, as mushrooms grow houses and shopping centers, schools and kindergartens. Pensions and wages are decent, both teachers and doctors.In the area, agriculture is developed and all the products of the first necessity are our own. And even greenhouses are great for growing vegetables all year round. Because there is a good leader here who knows that they live here. And people are grateful. Some regions are not so lucky. So, it makes sense to argue, bad in Russia or good? Russia is big, it is a Federation with different internal regional laws, and everything is different everywhere. Much depends on people.

The daughter wakes up, shows from under the blanket, fills her sore throat:
Dad, give me a cat.
Dad goes to the kitchen, takes the cat and tries to explain to him:
Don’t be upset, but it’s time to work.

by chay-fey

xxx: decided to look at the tariffs for mobile and did not notice that I accidentally went to the Belarusian website mts. I was a little worse!