There was always a lot of cockroaches on the boats. Heat, a lot of food and water, there is a place to shrink - what else does this insect need? There were so many cockroaches that when you enter the cabin and turn on the light, you can hear a loud noise from the cockroaches' legs running out. Seafarers with cockroaches were not hostile and treated them, rather, as domestic animals. They are not mosquitoes or flies.
One day, the deputy of the small anti-submarine ship of the Northern Fleet went on a well-deserved vacation and unconsciously left a balloon with red nitro paint on the table. After dinner, his neighbor in the cabin, the assailant, lay on his bed and looked into the space. On the canvases, the underwear, the table and all other surfaces, as usual, cockroaches crawled. The assailant looked for a long time at the cockroaches, the forgotten balloon with paint, and then the idea came to him to paint the gray life of the navy. A trap was made from an empty box, several dozen cockroaches were cut, painted in red and released to freedom. Another couple of events - and almost all the cockroaches in the cabin acquired an unusual bright red grease for them. Upon completion of the case, the assailant brought into the cabin his coffin - a miner. The fire colour of the running insects enchanted the harsh miner, and he cried, "I will have them blue!" The next couple of weeks of life on the ship resembled the day of open doors in a dumbom. In every living room, on every combat post, there were cockroach traps, cockroaches were caught and painted in the heraldic colors of their suzeran. The monoculture quickly ended. But here someone from the cockroach owners remembered that he was sick for "Spartak" and his squad acquired the red and white colors of his favorite team. After that immediately appeared “Zenits”, “locomotives” and so on. There were also other non-sports. For example, cockroaches painted under bees, with black and yellow strips. Or the “yellow-blue” cockroaches. Crusaders and so on. The armies grew, the incidence of passions increased. The initiative group developed the rules of interaction between the bosses of the cockroach groups. It was strictly forbidden to paint other people's cockroaches. But they could either be destroyed or captured (but only in their own territory!). Prisoning was especially encouraged. According to the number of captured fighters, the owner of the cabin was given glasses, from which his rating was raised. A competition table was displayed on the boat stand. The initiative group daily counted the number of prisoners and rewarded the frontmen with a condensation. A real hunt for cockroaches began - both on strangers and on homeless ones. There were concentration camps for prisoners in the cabins. If money was required, a group of cockroaches (prisoners or even their own) could be profitably sold to the desired person. It was already overwhelming. The Tarakanya epidemic did not bypass even the captain of the ship. It is not known how long this crazy vaccanaly would last, but one day a brigade commander entered the ship. Drinking tea in the cabin company, he saw a group of diversified cockroaches resembling a fun children's cartoon. Capra was in shock. The West cabin company was strictly interrogated, the crew was built on a large assembly and the combridge spoke an emotional speech full of colorful epithetics and metaphors, the meaning of which was as follows: "The homeland has entrusted you to defend yourself, and you are here with all the hernia!" The ship was declared an orphanage for a week, during which the discipline was tightened, all the premises were glossed out and all the cockroaches were exterminated. Fortunately, this was already easy enough to do, due to their good visibility against the backdrop of dull ships and the increased hunting experience of all crew members.

It seems to me that I don’t live elegantly enough for a citizen of a country that has elected the president of the United States, colonizes the Middle East, and plans to enslave the old lady of Europe.

Here are people who quit smoking as if, but smoking constantly with you for the company every 30 minutes your same cigarettes, because to buy yourself - again will want to smoke. For a long time, I thought about how to hint, so that until we came out in the company of an old friend, a man with a lot of experience, to whom our patient did not miss the opportunity to turn:
Is there a cigarette?
Oh well, keep it up.
And the lighter?
Do I look at you today from smoking only a smoker?

Rules of Safety:

Don’t go into the elevator with a strange child.
Be careful: do not sit with children on the couch or other furniture.
Be careful not to talk to strangers.
If you still had to face a danger, keep your hands in sight and do not make unnecessary movements;

c) Picabu

...
No, my friend, you’ve got a percussion like that... Our chief designer at the facility was late 20 minutes to the meeting because of the fact that he was lost on the clutch (bubble crack), which he himself designed! I have been riding for 2 years. Bike has grown.

#pedophiles and don’t believe #humor

told a friend of the journalist. She worked in the corporate newspaper of the metallurgical plant. And wildly interested in the criminal theme (half newspapers were devoted to the factory, and the other half - to the news of the city). And here she enthusiastically turns to the editor-in-chief and cries:
The Pedophile!! A pedophile was caught. Mint info gave, we urgently put the article on the first strip!!! to
“Child,” the editor breathed, “we’re out on Saturday, right? What day is Saturday?
Eeeemmm...which one?
And on Saturday we have the day of metallurgist!!! And all the fucking newspaper will be dedicated to the day of the metallurgist! This is when there is a pedophile day, then we will put your article on the first page!!! to

The working day in South Korea is one of the longest in the world: its citizens work an average of 500 hours more per year than Europeans. Public servants are still more difficult – they often spend more than ten hours at work. The mayor of Seoul has solved the problem radically: now at 7 p.m. every Friday, computers are simply turned off. Exceptions will be made only in special cases, but what exactly is not.

Interestingly, hard-working Korean officials have criticized the initiative and asked not to include them in the program of computers forced off, but their wishes are unlikely to be taken into account. It is not the first time the authorities are trying to reduce working hours and explain this by the need to increase the birth rate.

c) The Commercial

Comments under view.
XXX: I didn’t understand what happened to me (
YYY: XXX, eyeen, eyeen, eyeen, buh-buh-buh-bububuh (this goes through the pitches), then pipip then DYST (about the uzazyka) and BLAYING.................. trrrrk (handset) хлоп (door)
XXX: YYY thank you))

You, the perverse, listen, so it turns out that Harry Potter is a story of evil pedophiles craving to insult an innocent boy who runs and flaps with his fallique symbol.

We were photographed specifically for passports so that we could then use the picture at our funerals, and everyone looked at the portrait, regretted and said, “Yes, death was the best option for him.”

Announced by:
Centre of Russian grammar. We opened...

PS: The puzzle has broken. I understood why the Portwein "Three Seven" has such a name.
Full access to consciousness for reading, recording and executing commands.

After watching TV, my wife stated that since I have taken Meldonium for the last six months, although as prescribed by a doctor, all my so-called achievements in sex are canceled.

The Cat of the Sphinx. My father looked at him, looked at him. Now the cat’s name is Dobby.

Begin with the fact that to reach out to other people’s children, dogs, cats, mini pigs and other mimics without demand is to violate another person’s personal and family space, i.e. banal humility.
And this is the end, because common sense ends and paranoia begins.

by SUDAK:

After watching TV, my wife stated that since I have been taking Meldonium for the past six months, although as prescribed by a doctor, all my so-called achievements in sex are canceled.

The main thing is not to be removed from participation, and the results can be repeated.

Hold the keyboard stronger, fall.
People did not take an apartment in the new building above the 6th floor, because the child will get up in the elevator too long and he will have time to be raped by a pedophile.! to
The fucking.
The Pizzeria.
Buried the boys.

Title of RBC:
Zyuganov told about his role in shaving Grudinin's thighs

There, during the whole campaign of the KPRF, his mouths were shaved.
Yaya: And they didn’t shave, but pulled out... in punishment that the election lost :)

It is difficult to surprise the ordinary inhabitants of Kiev, they regularly observe how a Jew, an Armenian and a Georgian argue who of them is the greater Ukrainian.

Let us agree.
Anyone who did not live in the 16th century knows nothing about the Terrible.