The difference in social life was reflected by the Ukrainian whore who works in Russia:
In Russia you are eut and for this you get money, and in Ukraine you are eut and you still remain must!

I live in Crimea, I feel like we are now Russia,
The invitation to the referendum came two days after the referendum :)
P. S. is probably part of the truth in the jokes about the Russian post

Dialogue with the manager:

Q. Why is my phone not working?

- <connect to the network in settings>

and oh. How did you do it?

I used force.

The power of what?

It is midiclorian.

and Fu! The evil! Why do you say this to me?"

At one of the Ubuntu forums, a newbie asked the question:
XXX:.. after entering this command sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda everything is gone
No need for viruses. Users are washing themselves.

xxx: I am translating for Volkswagen in English: "the driver’s workplace is equipped with braille letters...." it was terrible.)

The acquaintance told and demonstrated: You open the refrigerator, carefully inspect the content for something to eat, and it begins to feed you annoyingly: "Cee-Lu-Lit, Ce-Lu-Lit".

I returned late enough from work (7 March), I think: "Nafig, tomorrow we will go together - what the wife will choose, then we will buy." (moreover, the award was received)
But, still wrapped up in a large business - the house screwdriver is not even normal. And since the casseroles at home are all centuries old, then at the same time and a set of casseroles is good - it is also necessary. I came, my wife and daughter are sleeping, I dropped the bags in the hallway and went to sleep. I wake up in the morning from the kitchen.
In the words of his wife:
- I wake up in the morning, you'll still shake up, I think - and I'm still falling. On MTV survey: "What worst gift would be for you on March 8?" Blinked and let’s click on all channels. Again hit on MTV - there is already the leader of bad gifts - a bowl. I understand that I still have a lot to cook, I pull out of the blanket, I scream about myself: "and this was always a puddle, what to cook, I could guess at least one normal bowl to buy, I'm not just making eggs! " - and about the box, I'm stuck. The cheerful in the kitchen turned on the TV and from there (from the same MTV) immediately: "So this year your ladies will hate you for the bowl!"

I don’t know if I’m a macho (as the author of a recent quote) or not, but I think the level is not bad for me too.))

With the past! We love you!

And a guy told me that the intelligence services developed a special program for a computer mouse - if you print anything unnecessary on the power, mouse you with a rope behind the neck - and well, squeeze, well squeeze!.

Don’t be so upset, now they do everything and everybody – and for the low (petite), and for the full (plus size), and for the lolit / ready / punk / hippie, for anyone.
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and the most hanging shirts, sweaters, jackets, jackets with sleeves to the knees, and sewn clearly on office worms with a biceps cover as at the foot of the chair. I’m not an athlete, but my hands are stuck in these cocktail tubes.

On the topic of job search:

xxx: We are looking for an affiliate marketing assistant in Kiev office!!! to
yyy: Affiliate)) * wrote in a booklet and studied diligently on slogans*
zzz: Fuck, when will someone start looking for an old good accountant?))
Michael, how much did he take?

1st We do not recognize Crimea as part of Russia. Crimea is Ukrainian, living there are Ukrainians!
2nd We stop paying pensions to Crimeans because Crimeans are now Russians.
And all why? Because it is lo-gi-ka!

Do you have a window in your office?
John: Yes
Do you have the same ass in the window as us?
No, we have snow.

A wandering dog entered the US embassy and applied sanctions right near the parade entrance.

The longer I work as a programmer, the less I trust all kinds of electronics.

Crimeans, you should have voted for joining Switzerland right away, if you were surprised in Washington!
I think I’d be in Geneva!!! to

Pizdec, then I and my entire administration in the form of a cat.
And the sofa does not recognize the United States as a state."
Do not forget to inform them about this, and be sure to apply sanctions to them.

These Russian barbarians brought the German Chancellor to suicide in 1945!

Mike> Childhood in the opera played...
Mike> Wanted to knock a girl with a book
Mike> The girl took the role-playing game correctly
Mike> And here the book for 8 thousand is broken...

When you eat a tie, make sure the camera is turned off.
Thanks Mika, take note of it.

xxx: I thought here) the main lol
xxx: Tymoshenko said "In Ukraine there will be no Russian fleet"
xxx: Well please - in Ukraine it is not)