bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 57 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44715
 19.03.2011
Zhendos: Dolboeb is a state of mental organization in which there are no semi-tones. It’s like pregnancy – either yes or no. You can’t be a little pregnant or a little dumb. The only graduation possible in the dolphins is a fairy tale, but, believe my experience, in this world, the yogis who have attained levitation and then more than the fairy tale dolphins.

MaKcuMbl4: can you consider the fairy tale of a man who left his car in the subway, went for business to the center, then came to make-up, looked for his car, filed a claim for theft, after 3 days remembered that he left it at another station, but the car from the theft was not removed so quickly, he was constantly stopped at each post and checked for an hour and a half, in the end he put it in the garage and walked on foot, and then sold. A man under 40 years old.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №44714
 19.03.2011
In the classroom there was a discussion about morality.
So Veronica (our teacher, young, greet her if she reads) glosses:
Japan is in a tough situation, but no one is maroding. The Japanese have a high level of what?
The radiation! There was a loud scream from the class.

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44713
 19.03.2011
I went to my aunt for a visit today, I went to smoke on a bucket. I opened the window and I was smoking. And sadly I see the monitor flying past me and shouting "This is Sparta ". I stood for a long time, then 5 minutes later the cat was flying, and other screams were already "It’s a flight fighter ". I still cannot connect these two things.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №44712
 19.03.2011
I went to a website where integrals can be counted online. There the button was "do not press". It naturally pressed. What would you think? A page of the same site with a bunch of porn banners opened. Hard mathematics

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44711
 19.03.2011
Driving instructor(s) and a young student(s)
They approach to an unregulated move with a stop sign. They stop. When touched from the place, they swallow and inertly reach the rails. They stop.
“Well, we’re standing here and waiting like Anna Karenina?
Did you teach her too?

[ + 47 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44710
 19.03.2011
Well, why, if you are a girl, then you need to be an air miracle in bands, express yourself in literary language and red with the word x$y?! So sometimes I want to say a mate, to come to somebody on the roar and go to shake with a tile... O :-)

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44709
 19.03.2011
Who does not risk, does not drink postinor.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44708
 19.03.2011
Veronika
I was sick 😉
Alexis
I will come with the malin bank (I will be cured)
Veronika
I don’t like the milk.
Alexis
Do I think I’ll cure you with milk?

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №44707
 19.03.2011
I belong to the generation whose computers were weaker than today’s phones.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №44706
 19.03.2011
How much do I owe you for yesterday?
- Okay, stop, there are pennies. - Come better on the weekend, well, and take wine with you.
We have agreed! Wine and my son.
by 0_0
and cheese. I was stunned)

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №44705
 19.03.2011
Dema: Calls the chief - solid such an uncle, gray, years under 50, rude, not noticed in compromising relationships
Under the feet of the child is confused.
Dema: The leadership is interested in who governs the conversation
At the backdrop of a second pause, a child’s voice sounds – Uncle! Let’s go live in Teramo!
Immediate response from the tube - you are what! There is already a mushroom, a squid frog, a jumping rabbit, a fox-sister, a wolf-gray barrel and a mouse-toptyka! I don’t go there anymore, I’m fat.! to
In a different tone, I
Dema: I am waiting for the corrected text exactly at 17.00, because at 17.30 it needs to be shown to the customer!
The child then arranged an hour of hysteria with the demand to take him to work and urgently make friends with such a good uncle.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №44704
 19.03.2011
I have to fight with my desires, said the naked girl in my bed.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №44703
 19.03.2011
Answer from Miley:
My cat is fucking a toy bear. Where to buy a poor bear with the symbol of United Russia?

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №44702
 19.03.2011
Let a miracle happen and the cat will recover!

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №44701
 19.03.2011
from contact.
Now you can tell your friends that you are in our group. To do this, you need to press "Tell friends" just below the avatar. It is not difficult, we are pleased. thank you! Everything is done for you.

XX: It is not difficult for me, I am ashamed.

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44700
 19.03.2011
The grandmother looks at her long and closely and begins to say: "The cat is dirty behind the ears, behind the ears you need to wash." O_O

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №44699
 19.03.2011
I went to the kindergarten with her for two years, studied in the first class for six months.

And then one day she said to me, “You and I are different people.”

I am worse than I am dead.
Archaeology, 2 cl

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №44698
 19.03.2011
And I was then nineteen years old, and I got into the hospital with a severe form of pneumonia... And I lay there for thirty-four days, although standard twenty-one lie... And then on the day and so thirty-two, when I was already going to repair, the temperature suddenly rose to under forty... And the night I didn’t sleep this, and the sisters ran over me, bothered me... And in the morning, everything passed... and in the same morning on the walk I saw the chief doctor of that hospital for the first time... And this doctor asked me how I felt, and what I did yesterday... He replied, I was tired of lying there, I was bored here, I was going to do a lot of things, I didn’t go back, and the doctor said that my night condition can only be explained by

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №44697
 19.03.2011
Chat with the manager (M) Bank "ZZZ" about missing money somewhere.
M: Hello to you. You have contacted the support service of the Bank "ZZZ". What can I help you?
I: Hello to you. Today, together with the withdrawal of the imposed amount, which was transferred to the payment of the goods, the extra 600 rubles were withdrawn, for which reason I do not know. Could you help me figure it out?
M: A minute... Yes, 643.70 rubles were withdrawn from your account in addition to the indicated amount. This is due to the fact that in Ukraine payments are in the form of rubles-dollars-rubles, and because of the difference in the purchase and sale rates you lost 643.70 rubles.
I: So that’s what you’ve done to me right now?
M is yes.
I: Thank you for your sincerity. and :)
M: Thank you for contacting our support service. Do not be embarrassed to contact us later.

0 - O

[ + 226 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44696
 19.03.2011
All those who joke about Japan are just idiots! Despite the tragedy, they were able to unite. The prices in the shops are not too high. What would happen in Russia? Many would like to live on another mountain. Think about...
Sorry that’s not funny.

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