The authors of the hymn of the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic deliberately made the first line the phrase "Live, Ukraine, beautiful and strong". The call “Live, Ukraine” was opposed to the Western necromancy “not dead yet”. And indeed, in Soviet times Ukraine lived and grew in territories, and in post-Soviet times it is regularly necessary to remind: “No, it has not yet died, it just smells like that.”

E-V-S: It will now be celebrated by the cellular company that will automatically connect subscribers who are currently simultaneously calling each other.

From a colleague’s letter:
"Please make an assessment by tomorrow. Otherwise, the leadership will blow me up on a tree growing on a flowering lawn, and on my cold corpse the hamsters will make a nest. You understand that one cannot be subjected to such terrible trials.

Dennis: I’ve always wanted to swim in gold coins like Scrooge McDack. I am a person with a higher technical education. I know very well that the naphid would break. I want it anyway!

What do you think of the fire at the monastery?
I have not been in women’s monasteries for 30 years.

The door at the entrance is iron, heavy and with a tight guide. When on the street minus, the lubricant in the boiler freezes, and only healthy men can normally get out of the entrance, all the others get to open the door only from the pinch, and then not from the first.

Somewhere by mid-January, I was in such a situation. I went to the management company - said, you can't live this way, take action.

The managing company was silent for two months, and last week (mid-March, for a minute), when the weather set one temperature record after another, urged to come and check out and quickly registered that it did not find a problem!

How can we not love these cute, glorious people?

I forgot my job leave today. It turned out that the pass office started working an hour and a half later than my, so you have to wait until the aunt comes in the window. And if I want to get to work before this point, I need to apply for a special night pass. "So why have you not applied since evening?", the guard asks.

The task asks how to explain to him that last night I didn’t know I’d forget the pass.

A three-and-a-half-year-old boy struck his forehead at the open door of the closet. Rebecca ran to her mother’s room. He came back in a few minutes.
How did you manage to hit?
This is so!
With these words, he cries himself with his fist on his forehead...

> one lupin survived and it appears petunia whole

Yes, you don’t have a plant there, but a harripotter, bite me a testator!

OJIEHb: Sooner or later if a bandit does not become a member of parliament he will be killed

A celebration of female logic.
We sit with a loved one, eat dinner, discuss news of all kinds.
And then she says, let’s buy you a red shirt!
I have nothing to do with washing a new cloth.

Inflation is a disease of the economy, so it exists only in the rotten West, we do not have inflation, just prices are rising.

by KONDEXIII

A story about the mines. This case told my old roots, I have no reason not to believe him. In our countryside, coal lies quite close to the surface and, in order not to be wasted on the trunk, the stoves were dug. From the combination they were brought to the entrance, well, and there on foot to the bowl. Further from the first person: Briefly reached the workplace, rubbed the coal, well, and sat "slow down", i.e. drink a cup of bottles and eat on the butter. We sit, we eat, we drink, we talk. It was in 1982, under the Communists. We were with the horse at the park. Lamps on helmets never turn off. So here... I sit in front of this partorg and I notice that he is looking somewhere behind me, while his eyes become just like tea dishes. Suddenly he jumps on his feet and begins to baptise small, small. The partridge!! I am protecting here, and so is everything. I turn around to see what is there, and I begin to baptize myself and swipe off at the "fifth point" closer to the exit. Because we were moving on... The fucking!! The most real devil, with a beard, horns, and terrible red eyes. Black as coal...Mlyaja, I’ve never sprinkled like this in my life. Our entire bandit, with a wild reverence, dropped everything, rushed from the low start to the exit. The first came by the partorg of the fox, followed by everyone else. The tenor at the exit shook when he saw us, thinking the accident was what. But when they said about the devil, he stumbled like a merine from the collective landfill and went to see. He came back, just like us, very quickly. He was no longer laughing. From the darkness came a whirlwind. Everyone turned their heads to the noise, in the light of the lights again the hell rose appeared. We are already out in the light!! Fuck me now! Whoever is waiting for a bitch. And here it rolls out... a goat, yes, the most real domestic goat! Only black as the night itself, the mine is coal. Apparently somewhere in the old production failed Pidor and wandered looking for a way out, here the light, people, the scent smells. He went to the light, to the people. And while we took our legs, he quietly ate our "brakes", and on our way to the light... In short, this cattle added us gray hair a lot, I don't even talk about partorga. His career crashed on a goat in the smell. By the way, he told me a lot of funny and curious cases, but this is the next time...

Trust those who know, but they are silent.

Small names are great good. In the team, where I got after the institute, among the ~20 employees were Sashenko, Sashul, two Shurikov (husband and wife, always worked together), Sanok and Alexander Yosifovich.

E-e-e... men don’t stick as well from their heels. You can take the garbage out in shorts and bigudi, and fall in love with some passing by the washing... Female charm, charm, charm - have nothing to do with heels, excess cosmetics and silicone seams. All the most famous beauties and courtesans were not offgenically beautiful, you look at the portrait and wonder what a horse...and after all, the men walked on tabun! There is a girl in the group - well, nothing like it does not appear, such are said "neither skins, nor skins" - and there is no rejection from men. Charm is a terrible force! Enchantment and Berks - and so on!

The real name of Alexander the Macedonian was Shurik.

XXX: The new twiks advertising enjoys))
Two creators of twiks simultaneously fall in love with one lady and give her each in boxes of two identical cylindrical objects length of 14 cm. The lady makes them "fu" and goes to a two-metre dick.
XX: And the creators, seeing this, take the pen and leave together))

Any little familiar with medicine will confirm that flowing water is sometimes hardly the only reliable way to combat microbes. And whoever wants to save "pay twice or even three times. And so you can not stop at what has been achieved, and get a device called the "shell for shellfish", as in enlightened Europe.
and...
Any little acquainted, will confirm that chemistry and thermal treatment are the only reliable ways to combat microbes. Therefore, normal people and meat and potatoes are cooked / roasted. The potatoes are washed, not so that the microbes are washed, but so that the soil is not boiled - it is tasteless, even if all the microbes have died there.

Moyaši Gorohovna: My parents are fierce homophobes.
Moisha Gorohovna: When they watch news on television about gays and lesbians,
Moyaši Gorohovna: Dad always says that there should be a bomb.
Moashi Gorohovna: And also he drinks from my cup with the inscription "I love yaoi"
I don’t even know about it > :D