bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139352
 05.03.2017
Why are we called voters and not voters? There are elections, not elections.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №139351
 05.03.2017
The more fear and anxiety people have about sexuality as such, the more hostile they are to homosexuality.

by Igor Kon

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №139350
 05.03.2017
There are wolves and foxes sitting on the ice and catching fish. The fox sits back to the hole, the tail has fallen into the water, and does not crack. And the wolf stands in front of the hole and only has time to pull the fish out. Lisa asks :
- Listen, you are so wrong fishing, in the fairy tale it was different. What are you catching?
“E-E-E, like a worm,” said the wolf and turned red.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139349
 05.03.2017
What can you talk about with a person who, seeing a ring from the Lord of the Rings on his neck, climbs into Google with the question, what is the religion?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139348
 05.03.2017
A pensioner is threatened with up to 10 years for cheating the state for 2 million rubles:
The state threatens a million years for deceiving citizens

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139347
 05.03.2017
...I went to pick jeans, I say I need 28 rubles, and the seller guy comes in from the rear looking and says that the rubber. I started convincing that I wear 28, I know better.
The guy quietly (seemingly tired of arguing with everyone) gets 27 times. And surely! Sitting as a parent)
YYY: It’s like an eye shot...)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139346
 05.03.2017
“Barrimore, who’s lying there in the swamp?
The St. Petersburg people.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №139345
 05.03.2017
*sitting on his knees, holding on his hands a degenerated quote about "Oheret - his legs are thrown". In the eyes tears, in the voice
- Moders, you see what has led to your insatiable thirst to moderate everything?! to

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №139344
 04.03.2017
Another story about cowboys. My colleague told me the story. He sits in the kitchen with his son dining, the phone rings, then K - a colleague, you guess who.

K - Allo

This is me (a silent complaint)

The colleague turns his head, looks at the son wrapping the cocktail, immediately understands what to do.

My son, it is me.

Father, I got in trouble (even more complaining voice)

What happened to you?

I was fucked, Dad.

How did he win?

Yes, I have won.

Was he healthy?

Yes, a big laurel is like that.

How did you win so much? You have no legs since childhood, right?

Wild rust from the other end of the pipe. You are a good guy, you laughed.

He hanged the phone.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139343
 04.03.2017
Angry, when he took the hundredth position in the line in the tax, stood for two hours, solved his problems, and after you more, fool, nobody took.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139342
 04.03.2017
The Moscow electric car. The road takes about four hours, and most of the passengers drive from the starting point to the end. Somewhere in the two-thirds of the way comes a musician with a bastion. He plays inspiringly, but frankly figuratively (I have no special hearing, even if I hear that he does not get into the notes, it means he does not get very hard). and long. very long time. and two stops. The neighbor of the house (dark):

And I see, he is not superstitious at all and because of the curse does not believe!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №139341
 04.03.2017
Valery
I was presented on March 8th.
Guess what?

Andrei
What is?
The cookies?
Map of Guadeloupe?
And an orange meal?
A big strange thing with the signature "Arcadia"?
Skin bag 5x5 cm for skin oil?
A working studio microphone.
A mask for surfing?
The Colorado Frog?
The flowers of Poncho?
Battery from server interruptor?
a secret lipsticks with the inscription "do not shoot"?
Ancient papyrus stolen from Cairo Museum
Dakota from Scotland?
Do you fuck it?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №139340
 04.03.2017

The tea please. Do you have something sweet for tea?
Will the salty corns come?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139339
 04.03.2017
In general, the screening of Pelevine falls under the article on drug propaganda

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №139338
 04.03.2017
The case took place in the summer. I was 12. A new change of youth from Moscow came to the children’s camp next to my home. I met a guy a few years older than me. He seemed to me a very positive charismatic boy. I found a good friend. A week of communication. He saw my cool jeep on the radio control. I offered to sell my vehicle. He said his parents would send me the money in a week and he would settle with me. I agreed without a backthink. Over the course of a week, almost all of my most valuable toys were added to our deal. I have already calculated what I will spend the fabulous money that will fall on me.

On the calculation day, I arrived at the camp. There was a change in the camp.

So, if you are reading this, fat you are muddy, I remember your row and look forward to our meeting.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №139337
 04.03.2017
As the eunuchs say, it doesn’t bother me, and I can’t dance anyway.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №139336
 04.03.2017
In one minute, 120 customers escaped from a restaurant in Spain.

Customers of a Spanish restaurant fled massively, leaving their bills unpaid.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139335
 04.03.2017
There was a story about the inhabitants of the crusthouse, in which there were five centimeters of cracks, bricks fall, all things...

So they were offered to demolish the house at their own expense.

and UGU. And then to be fined for illegal demolition of the house.

Forcing to build a new.

fines for illegal construction.

to demolish the house. The Profit!

[ + 20 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №139334
 04.03.2017
Bordeaux - поребрик, shaurma - saverma, strawberries - grey. We are all accustomed to these differences. But so far few people have noticed that if in Moscow the exit in English is designated as exit, then in Peter - way out.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139333
 04.03.2017
xxx: here you are all about socks jokes... and in the meantime last year, it turned out, a computer game, where armed to the teeth socks goes to search for his missing couple. Strange are your deeds, lord.

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