xx: The host does not have "tech support", but simply "support". Once I communicate with her, I solve the problem myself and tell them how I did it.
yy: Well, just "Support".
Tip: Don’t worry, you’ll do it.
Yy: Try it, let it
Yes yes XD

In Sevastopol is not the first year the most fashionable club "White People" and none of the inhabitants it does.
But as foreign ships enter the city, black comrades go there in the crowd, apparently checking whether these wild Russians let go or not.

Mystery Woman is when you don’t understand why you’re together.

I never thought that very intelligent people could work in a taxi, but...
I came to the village to my parents, taxi drivers stood at the bus station, sat down to one. We go. The taxi driver, an elderly Armenian, stretches out a card to me and says:
Are you driving with me for the first time?
and yes.
Take a visit card. If you hit the number in your phone right now - I will make a 10% discount (so you have a prospect at the price of the trip of 50 rubles).
I take a "visit card" - 1/6 of the A4 sheet, on some printer printed numbers and big letters name - ABIK. Transcribed to the phone, saved as "Abik.Taxi.G****vka".
You know, and my name is Yura.
Abigail is written here.
That is what I invented myself. You need a taxi. You pick up the phone, open the address book and what is the first name? is right! and abic! A and B, do you understand? The first letters. As long as they get to Yuri, someone else will call.
How genius is it? Abigail...

How would you like to wake up one day - and you are eight years old, and all this mess you just dreamed of.

Raila_sai: Where to take another 5 hours a day?
Xing_aka_kelos: start speaking "norm" instead of "normal" and "go" instead of "let’s go"!

About a stranger:
After rinsing someone else with soda, you do not need to worry about teeth, nails and a sharp tail: it will break with an exothermic reaction.

>>> 30 cm medium penis? Watched porn

You don’t know the length of your left and right penis.

by Tattoos

Previously, a tattoo on a woman’s shoulder was a sign of a prostitute
The man is a criminal.

Oh my dear, let me be.
- d'Artagnan, you are bad, it is adidas

A casino advertisement that starts with the words "Stop spilling money in pirate machines!" for some reason you immediately want to finish with the words "Fill them in licensed!"

Zet
Not an office, but an aquarium with fish.
I go to the bathroom, someone is going out too.
By the time he approaches the toilet, he is already so close that the whites of his eyes can be seen.
I come, I close
2 seconds
Tours of Tours
I want to jump out screaming you what do you think I'm leaving home from here!?!?!? to
Daria Stounchenko
Harry Potter looked up.
You get into the Ministry of Magic.

by Marlezon

An attempt to make a hamburger without asbestos, cyanides, preservatives, dyes and flavourings, identical to natural, thickeners, thickeners, emulsifiers, sweeteners, GMOs, soybean, dioxins, mercury, etc. It failed shamefully.
It all started so well! Flour (mouth, water, salt, yeast), all ecologically clean! I rushed, and when the cacao, of the highest kind of beef, was roasted...
I ate the cabbage!
I did not endure! McDougall failed to strike back. The salad and tomato paste also had to be eaten separately.

From Habr:
xxx: I will note that the idea of the “average user is an idiot” is generally true, so the position of the browser makers is not so unfounded.
YYY: but they make the browser convenient ONLY for idiots!

>>>Think standard, do not go astray, reduce life-free with debit credit,
They have little dreams, rarely think...There is nothing left of their ancestors.

I have a rare book, "Accounting in Public Trade" of 1960, I dream of scanning it and putting it out, so that people can feel how it was in those years to make an act in four copies for each piece. Maybe they will understand why the USSR collapsed.

I walk in the street, listen to music. In front of me is a man in pants, a shirt, holding a case in his hand. It goes, it goes, it stops, it climbs and falls. I am wildly frightened, I run to him, I scream, “Man, are you okay?” He, not opening his eyes, gently pushes me back and says, “Don’t touch me. I have enough, I want to lie down.”

to the tattoo. Guys, it seems that the "master" speaking here lives at the expense of poor parents. Who provide him not only with food and clothes, but also with tools, room, and everything that the child will want. Well, here is such a glamorous boy "artist". And the original message to raise your level for someone else’s (customer’s) money only convinces that. Have you not noticed these big letters "I owe you all!11 and 11?

"Senator Ted Cruz defeated Trump at the primary in Idaho".

He probably did it cleverly. The slogan: Vote for T. Cruz!

A bunch of enthusiastic ladies voted, thinking they voted for Tom Cruise.

[0:37, 10.03.2016] Government: What happens if a whale bites a centaur or a minotaur?
[0:41, 10.03.2016] Pashah: The Horse
[0:42, 10.03.2016] Government: Or a wolf horse?
[0:54, 10.03.2016] Yang: The Wolf Horse or the Bulldog, ah
[1:15, 10.03.2016] +375 29 688-22-60 : There seemed to be a question of biting, not fucking. Why do you have such strange versions?

A black man with blue eyes? The naive children.
After Harry Potter, who was not given the branded Emerald Eyes, about which seven books are spoken, are you still waiting for something?

I am looking for vacancies for work. Found "Engineer-developer of blocks SU KA". The description of the vacancy perfectly corresponds to the title :)