bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78568
 11.03.2013
In the social network:
xxx: I will donate any big book, pages of 500-600, preferably enlarged format, well or at least simple. Any content, even a reference book. Average or good, year of release does not matter.
Q: What about the color? This is the most important thing in the book!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №78567
 11.03.2013
I went to the pool. I saw people in bathing hats with a large inscription "HEAD". I wondered what was written on the rest of the swimsuit?! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78566
 11.03.2013
From the hubr, talk about drug legalization

MarkPnk: I am, for instance, right now under the pit, at the peak of an absolutely wild parish! Yes, I’m crazy and crazy. Absolutely free and legal. Without chemistry. This drug is called love. And I promote him.

Better to be quiet. Banned and landed.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №78565
 11.03.2013
I have twins I know (they are 3 years old), one asks "Why", and the other answers "Because".

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №78564
 11.03.2013
(A girl in a bar)
D: What are you doing?
Q: I am a super secret agent from the KGB!
Now we know your secret!
Q: Nothing bad I have a super device to wipe out memory like people in black (get the light bulb, do the cirk, the light bulb does not burn)
D: :)))
P: Nothing (I will wipe your memory old)
D is?? to
Q: I will quietly pour vodka in your martini.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №78563
 11.03.2013
XXX: There are no good options in general =)
xxx: either tough in appearance, or tough in function, or expensive
YYY: Create your own
yyy: with blackjack and prostitutes
xxx: then all three at once =)
xx: expensive, stable, not functional =)
Why is it expensive?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №78562
 11.03.2013
What is a transport tax?
- This is when you pay the grandmother for a water motorcycle to repair the road cover, which it erased during the period of exploitation.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №78561
 11.03.2013
(Wd) The inventor of the car navigator indicating the distance to the nearest tractor will become a billionaire!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №78560
 11.03.2013
In a smoker, men under the age of 50 discuss the passage of Max Payne and the Bullet Storm, one whispered: - This is another thing, this is when I passed the fallout, so I was thrown into shake by beer covers on the street, so I wanted to pick up.
I'm a fan of Stalker - it's very hard to get past the pieces of the pipe with the drive, because there should be a dirt! and :-)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №78559
 11.03.2013
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
xxx: No, kids, Susannah was in another swamp affair...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78558
 11.03.2013
If you are not a beauty, that doesn’t mean we won’t have sex.! to
Great thing you just wrote...
I’m excited by your intellect")
It is rehabilitated.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №78557
 11.03.2013
Meeting on 8 March:
Congratulations to all of the XX, I wish you beautiful HUs to create a strong and friendly PP and F1 without phenotype and genotype crashes.
c) by m.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №78556
 11.03.2013
A couple of months ago, a cell phone was plugged in to simulate a cat’s cuddling. Have fun in the whole apartment, watching our kitten swirling and crazy looking for non-existent cousins.

Then I gave birth. And it turned out to be a spicy detail - a child makes the same sounds as a cat. And this wretched villain trolled us in response, forcing us to break out every 5-10 minutes and check if the baby has not awakened.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78555
 11.03.2013
On March 8th, in the evening, I say to a friend:
Do you want to make a compliment to Marina?
My friend, I can’t
Marina, I will tell you.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78554
 11.03.2013
I turn my pockets before washing. A condom has fallen out. I realized that this was my eldest son. I enter the room.
On the couch the husband, the eldest son (19 years) and the younger (13 years). Television is watching. And so as not to confuse the older son I say: There in the bathroom on the machine someone INTIM fell out of the pocket, take it!
All three broke into the bathroom. The Spring! However...

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78553
 11.03.2013
Previously (five years ago) lived in a small provincial town, the main contingent of which is terrible hopar. Exactly everything according to the standard was: adik, beer, caps, arrows, disassembly. My friends and I were in contact with such a company. Walked together several times. The men were surprisingly modest and silent. We did not drink, joked and played in the tournaments.
I moved to the capital, I naturally did not communicate with these guys at all. A year and a half ago, I received a letter from a friend who was with us. All on emotions such a link throws on one guy from that company.
It turned out that he was so slowly pumped, moved to the capital of the region and now works as a stripper.
It all started with Turnik and Adik.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №78552
 11.03.2013
Half seven in the morning. City clinic, I am in line for the injury. People are becoming more and more, mostly, of course, grandmothers. I hear the following behind my back:
Woman, you are for whom?
I am behind that girl with the stick! A girl with a stick.
I turn away:
- Behind me, behind me, says the girl with a 70-year-old stick, slowly crawling to the line, relying on the trunk.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78551
 11.03.2013
XXX I want to eat. The diagnosis showed that the legs functioned, but the brain’s commands responded with a delay of 0.0056 seconds. Not critical though. The gyroscope is slightly shifted, it will need to be corrected. There is another unpredictable factor - the cat. The probability of falling under the legs is 73.6%. Ability to prevent a collision taking into account all breaches 46,004%. The chance of falling is 98, 094%. The chance of getting to the kitchen and cooking fuel for the body is 43.39%. Probably going to the store is a critical mistake.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №78550
 11.03.2013
Second horror: see in the questionnaire next to the photo of a cute girl signature "Trans". This is my favorite music :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №78549
 11.03.2013
Another “very subtle” hint about a person’s status as to what kind of phone he has.

I saw a Samsung advertisement, where the girl takes the phone in her hand and from his panel (there the sakura is drawn) the branch slips on her hand, making her a beautiful dress, makeup, etc.

Soon, Apple will make such an advertisement - an iPhone (6S, let's say, anyway while I print it there a couple of models will come out), a guy approaches the phone, takes a cell phone in his hands and he grows in his trousers for half a meter. He looks at it all, looks into the camera and says, “Envy Me” and leaves.

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