bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №45563
 06.04.2011
The dog is wonderful.
The dog yes
Yyy: In the sense of yes, the dog is wonderful.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №45562
 06.04.2011
Ingeborg: I dreenk bear
What did you do with the bear?

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №45561
 06.04.2011
- here you are sweet, I'll be on my doctor's side - I'll buy you sweets
You already had Dr.
And all that, there will be no more? O_O

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №45560
 06.04.2011
twelve (14:15:30 5/04/2011)
I can’t choose a false imitator...I need someone’s help
thx (14:15:36 5/04/2011)
Fucking Fucking
thx (14:15:41 5/04/2011)
not there

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №45559
 06.04.2011
Conversations in L2
XX: Do you have children?
Elf, Elf 4 course

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №45558
 06.04.2011
Conversation between marketers:
Why is it just Tuesday today?
M2 is fun. If Wednesday is a small Friday, then Tuesday is a small Thursday.
M1 on Monday.
M2 A Monday, Scuco, always Monday...

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №45557
 06.04.2011
The only thing I really liked about him was his cat.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №45556
 06.04.2011
I am going home today, going out of the universe. To meet me a cute couple, a fashionable boy, and a modestly dressed girl. I only saw it when I approached closer. The presence of a light scarf in the “girl” pointed me to my mistake.

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45555
 06.04.2011
XH: Yes
Tagged: trains
Politically correct...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №45554
 06.04.2011
Ball of "Prostoquashino" was the first conscious hipster.
Instead of useful things in the farm, he bought ceds and photo guns.

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №45553
 06.04.2011
Today I went to the 3rd class. She assigned three groups to write three kinds of speech: academic, judicial and spiritual (epitaphy). According to the story "The Bell".
The best lawyers come from philologists. Judges justified Lisa along and across, and almost to tears appealed: said, Nora in an emergency, in divorce from her husband, a mother with many children, a difficult financial situation... Citizen Kolobok provoked the defendant with his disgraceful behavior: namely, several witnesses heard him praise his crust, softness, dexterity, etc.
It is half trouble. The conclusion killed: “In addition, the investigative examination revealed that the citizen of Kolobok was not registered as a grandfather and grandmother of citizens, as a result of which it is not their property (or relative). Therefore, the claim has no grounds".
I just can’t give an academic speech, because among the general rust I remembered it poorly.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №45552
 06.04.2011
Interview on the anime forum:
Zai-tyan: I eat discs with anime! and URA!
Froggy: Who is eating? O_O
Zai-tyan: You don’t understand, I have discs with anime ;)
Froggy: God, why does he do this?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №45551
 06.04.2011
In the countries of the former CIS in the presidential elections most often wins the candidacy "who would doubt."

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №45550
 06.04.2011
I read here for days the story of the grubas about how the man of the haishnik tried to shake up, and I thought that most probably were on the side of that man. In fact, his haishnik acted nobly, but against the law. Who knows who he will release next time? History is not about that. It was told by a veteran of GAI, who has not worked in the police (or now the police) for 25 years.

He served in those times when the State Auto Inspection was not as mobile as it is today, there was very little technology, but like people were better. There were almost no thicknesses and turns in the pursuit. And here he, then even the senior sergeant, had a fairy tale. He was put to work on a speed meter. And we have to say that in those years even a motorcycle was placed far from every inspector, and the service cars for the whole city were from the force of dozens. In winter and summer, in any weather, the haishniki carried the service "on their two", and to the place of the accident were often reached by sidewalks. So the service, which today is generally not sugar (unless the pants are wiped out in the office), then was extremely difficult.

Here is such a farth. The speed meter of that time is not your current radar, it is a device that looks like a projector and weighed about 10-12 kilograms. Therefore, the meter was attached to the car - the ordinary 412 "Moskvich" of orange colour without identification marks and "blinkers". The task is to stand near the stationary station of GAI on the track and measure the speed at the encounter. Anyone who violates the report will be stopped there. There was no fixation of the indications of the device, but it was not accepted to argue with the inspector. The work on the meter is not that dustless - a paradise compared to the work of a regular postman.

And here once he stands on the side, the device set on the seat, waiting.
On Sunday evening, holidaymakers go to the city, but there are few cars. And here he sees: from the side of the garden cooperative flies the "Jigul" - "Troika" (the most luxurious car at the time). The device shows... no matter what it shows, it is important that the speed is exceeded, you have to report to the post. But here the driver of the "troika", seeing that behind the wheel of the "Moskovich" sits a man in shape, apparently understands that "fall". He stops at the opposite side and swarms toward him with a grim sight.

What did the commander exceed?
There is a little.
So... I’m in a hurry.
Where are you in a hurry, chauffeur?
“You know, comrade inspector, ‘right’ I forgot at home! Here is honest
For the first time with me! Going on a trip and at the table.
has left. Please let me go, my trip is breaking down.
You don’t have any documents, right?
Well... well what to do...

What to do, just knew the young senior sergeant - to go to the post and there to find out from the city phone the identity of the "bad" driver. But it deceived kindness. And the man was somewhat simple. It was like yesterday from the village. The villagers were respected by the inspector. In general, it ended with the fact that he rushed into confusion and let go with peace. To say goodbye, he tried to give the inspector a mint cherry (which was quite a heavy amount then), but he pushed the driver's hand away.

The next day, barely entering the GAI building, the “good” inspector encountered the assistant of the guard.
“Well, Petya, about... you’re your happiness...” he thoughtfully said to him. go go
The commander is waiting for you.

The "simple" man turned out to be the new deputy chief of the UVD, harmful and intrusive. When he arrived at the post, he immediately presented himself and demanded a phone. In the morning, Petino’s happiness ended. Instead of a speed meter, he entered a pedestrian post, and another one - under the windows of the city's UVD. And as you know, you have to stay away from the bosses to avoid... But this is not what the inspector remembered most. Not an excuse for a personal matter. For his whole life he remembered the last words of the insidious deputy after the chief "working":
It’s a pity that you didn’t take that trunk, I would have put you in.

Since then, according to Peti, who has long been Petro Mikhailovich, he has always been in service first of all as appropriate, and then humanly. Because it is not known yet whether they will thank you for your kindness, but the bosses will not let you go.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №45549
 06.04.2011
Happiness is when there is an opportunity not to lie, answering the question “How is it?”“”

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №45548
 06.04.2011
Zzzz: Gosh needs to be rubbed, requires brain cleansing
SSR: Who is it?? to
Zzz: My wife calls her work computer so :-D
zzz: when we worked together - she comfortably writes to me - come, help move Gosha, I just wavered. I come, and she has a paper glued on her monitor with the inscription "GOSHA". Everyone has the inventory, and she has the fuck, GOSHA))) women.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №45547
 06.04.2011
The freedom of choice in Russia reminds me of this:

State: choose where you want to be caught, in the mouth or in the pop?
The people: Hurra! We have freedom of choice!

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №45546
 06.04.2011
x: ICQ is a flower on the grave of working time!
y: And in combination with Classmates, Contact, Facebook - a whole bouquet there...
z: ugu, wreath... with tape activity...

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45545
 06.04.2011
You are here (12:57:43 5/04/2011)
Sometimes I buy my tongue and cook, clean and eat it all ?
Nikita (12:58:23 5/04/2011)
Fou, I can imagine the cows licking each other’s ass badly.

[ + 61 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45544
 06.04.2011
and all. I can no longer hide this secret.
Ask the verbal question: "What does he do?". Not in the question of "B" -not in the verb either: suffering, like.
There is in the question "B" - "what do they do?" then and in the verb write: meet, like and whatever the soul wants.
Please do not torment your intuition in vain.

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