When I was 15, I had friends who were four years older than me. And as a boy I was grown up, a sportsman – nothing different from them (in terms of appearance).

As - then once we went to visit girls, and I got a couple of girls of their years. So we rest, we drink wine, I tell stories differently - and the girl will fit, and the edak, and the straw in her eye should be looked at and the shirt repaired...

In short, we went to accompany the ladies.

I, leading the lady to the cottage, stand, say goodbye, and she asks me: what is the biggest car you know?

I’m wow, Belaz, 40 tons, wheels from home!

This is the brake of this white! and left...

When I told my friends about this, I didn’t understand what happened.

xxx: What does a tattoo on your penis mean in the form of a dot? What, juro, wait, the member will stand up and the point will turn into a detailed map of the Tver region



Yyy: Fubla, why do you show your member to Yura?



XXX is bro. Bro is fucking.



YYY : STOP Do you really think it is better?

It is not enough to hit everything, you do not have to catch your finger yet.

happened today. First action: time - half an hour before lunch, the place of action - the smoker, the actors - me and my boss. The manager is interested:
Are you going to lunch today?
A small clarification: the boss is not in the car, I am always in the car, but I rarely go to lunch.
I don’t know, probably. I wanted to take my dog to the vaccine for lunch. What did you want?
- Yes, I need to go to the barber, so I thought, if you go - maybe you will catch me, otherwise you need to call a taxi.
"Now I will call the nursery and if there is a vaccine, then I will go, and I will take you away.
Second action: the time is five minutes before lunch, the place of action is the office of my department, the actors are me, my boss and all the employees of the department. I call the veterinarian and say to the veterinarian:
Do you have a vaccine? (The Department is listening)
What interests you?
- I am interested in imported, combined, which must include rabies vaccine (the department hears).
Well, it’s a pity that I’m killing my dog twice, and so all the vaccines once.
Yes to eat.
Can I come in now? The Department Hears.
Yes come here.
I hang the phone and say to the boss:
- All, I agreed, there is a vaccine, we went - I will take you...
For the second five in the department is set a grave silence, then a wild laugh, everyone lies.

I understand correctly that our prices are bound to the dollar only when it rises, and when it falls, they are no longer bound?

When I was studying in the universe, the teacher asked us this question: "What do you need for happiness?" He began to question. The girls answered who “a lot of money”, who “a rich husband”, “healthy children”, “a good car” and so on. (When the turn came to me, I replied - "I don't need anything, I'm so happy," which caused a considerable surprise to the audience). Then the priest asked the following question: "What is happiness different from pleasure?" Everyone has thought here. “The correct answer is pleasure what do you do? Right they get. Thus e. When you get something, you get pleasure, not happiness. Because if you take away what you got, you automatically become unhappy? And happiness is not only to take, but also to give, to live in harmony with the world, it is a relationship to the world around you.

Gold words for me.

(Thoughts in the world) - a place on the redite for ridiculous, philosophical ideas, finding fun and interesting in the ordinary. Best of the Year



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If the queen put on a pair of shoes once and sold them, they would gain value. If a random girl put on a pair of shoes once and sold them, they would lose value. But somewhere between the queen and the casual girl is a “balanced celebrity” who could sell shoes at a retail price.



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It happens that the maps of military actions are also dropped.

Leonid Gaida before shooting the comedy "Ivan Vasilyevich changes his profession" appealed to the design bureau with the task of developing a layout of the Time Machine for the film. For six months, the specialists of the bureau were spelled over the "invention" and were born with the project of almost a real spacecraft. The main character of the picture - the single-inventor Shurik even in his most bold dreams would not be able to approach such technical perfection. A fundamentally new solution was needed. The deadlines were already pushed, the shooting was coming to an end, and at the same time the director could not "send" one Ivan Vasilyevich to the past, and another to our time. And then Gaidai was advised: "There is such a specialist by the name of Počechev on "Mosfilm". At that time he worked as an artist-sculptor on the painting "Ruslan and Lyudmila", and the talk about him went through the "Mosfilm", as about a master on all hands: and the fairy forest will create, and the boundaries of Chernomore. Negotiations were held on an equal footing. Gaiai was on the ground because of the shortage of time. I was rattled because of a shortage of money. And already two days before the desperate director lay a new project. Vyacheslav brought a large sheet of vatman, on which the coal was depicted something: tubes, cloves, balls, springs, snakes. And the wires! Absolute abstraction and unprecedented obscurity. The filming group stumbled. The shootings clearly collapsed... But Почечуев was eloquent, artistic and persuasive (he had to feed his family). And Gaida surrendered, not looking for another "inventor". In the shortest possible time, all the truths and lies, but the Car was assembled. There were two helpers. They pulled out of the warehouse some pieces that remained after "Solaris" Tarkovsky. We came to the city of Klyn for a glass factory, placed an order (which, according to rumors, almost the next day made a couple of bottles of vodka by Uncle Vasya from a grocery shop). They bought flashes, flashes, reagents, dishes for chemical experiments, and the machine appeared in the pavilion in all its glory. As soon as she earned, from the first launch, she fell in love with the entire filming group. Something in her mysteriously whirled, glittered and whirled, and rolled. The film was saved. As a result, the sculptor himself received a prize from "Mosfilm" - forty rubles and a certificate from the accounting office: "Money issued for the invention of the time machine", and without any hints.

The dollar price has fallen. I couldn’t buy it for 85 rubles. I can’t buy it for 80 now.

No need to give up if you can just run away. And from a distance to shouting, “I won! I just have no time!“”

From the Diary of K.I. Chukovsky :

25 December 1964
Walked with Sima Dredden. He told me a wonderful, meaningful story. An intellectual settled in a railway guard's cabin. The guard was illiterate. The intellectual had great difficulty teaching him literacy. The guard was dumb, but eventually overcame the beginnings of grammar. He wanted to be a driver on the train. To do this, you had to learn dozens of rules on hand - and pass the exam. Intelligence has helped here. The guard became a guide, coming to the south, purchasing oranges and so on. It was sold in the north. and rich. Intellectual was arrested. Having spent his time in the camp, he returned home. Here he was rehabilitated - and showed his "case". It turned out that, after learning literacy, a grateful railroad driver first wrote a note on him: "I warn that NN has connections with abroad."

The final objectives of the special operation will be determined after its completion.

It is clear why war is needed by those who sit in the offices, but it is not clear why war is needed by those who are on the battlefield.

We were cool at the gathering with a loaf overlooking the appearance of the girls: shorts are short, blouses are exciting, destroying painted. They say that you are such parents if you can’t make them look decent. One daddy stands up here, approaches her and suddenly sweeps her phone under her nose. She says, “Look, this girl is a physics Olympiad winner. She has a shirt and makeup, and what, does it bother her? Children should be taught, not thrown into their brains with an external view.” The beautiful woman immediately confused the whole hustle. She is physics leading, and the results in children are below the average.

After the Oscars ceremony, I’m tormented by one thought: “What if Will Smith was white?”