bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №126376
 04.04.2016
Go to Google: Recursion
You may have meant: recovery.
I feel somewhere.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126375
 04.04.2016
I am looking for an hour with a terrible Hermione. If I was referring to the card (it really doesn’t look like Emma at all), then I don’t understand your outrage: an ordinary round-shaped curly girl with flattened ears, even cute.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126374
 04.04.2016
I am pregnant. And, apparently, so much searched in Google stores with clothes for pregnant women that contextual advertising offers me to buy it OPTOM.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №126373
 04.04.2016
Discussions "Rogoz vs. kamish"
ZZZ: Who makes a noise is a stinker!
XXX: This is not a fact far away. Under the window, the local alchemy is noisy, but they are not stones at all, but generally wood.
ZZZ: Well, in the sense of "The stumbling stumbled, the trees rattled..."
XXX: Well, they sometimes make so much noise that the trees hide, yes )))))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126372
 04.04.2016
The main thing is to compare yours with the future half of the hotel before the wedding. I speak to you as a man who has changed "eternal love to loss of consciousness" to shared interests and views on life - and has been happy in marriage for many years.

Fueta
compared and compared.

10 years later, he said, and I did not know what I was saying then.
and FSE
It makes no sense to go on the shore.
Marriage is like a hole boat, the main thing is that you both want to close that hole, not one.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126371
 04.04.2016
Here is, for example, a blanket in a carpet - you will put it right away.
But it is worth it to be in the washing machine, as this textile monster greases absolutely everything, until the last socks.
This is what - the aura of the washing machine is working, or it is there the stress is going on...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126370
 04.04.2016
As a girl I want to say most comfortable in the summer in long wide cotton sweaters or balls. Everyone breathes and you can sit anywhere and nothing sticks. And before I went in shorts and minis and it was uncomfortable in the same bus to sit on a leather seat. But in dirty weather, it is long and the curtains do not roll.
by ps. I also found that it was warmer in the cloth than in the hat. Ears and neck are closed. So I walk in winter in a mountain skiing suit and jacket.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126369
 04.04.2016
of Belarus. Father, a pensioner, was transferred to 0.25 rates. That is 400 kilos. To work him with 2 transfers, in the end for a passenger nune to give 300 kilozaics. Grandma is angry.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126368
 04.04.2016
The xxx:
I hit a sociologist here. It is harder to live with this than with the knowledge of philosophy postulates.
I never understand how it works.
YYYY :
Is that where Hexley is and all that?
The xxx:
UGU
YYYY :
I have to be interested in finding out who I am.
A quiet voice in my head suggests that it’s dolbyop.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126367
 04.04.2016
There are men who perceive a wife as a household appliance - but there are women who don't like to decide anything, but want a clear circle of responsibilities, to shake up with their girlfriends and a new ring.
There are men who want to always have a friend nearby with whom you can consult, and in trouble get any help,

For some reason only the first type of men strives to get the second type of women and transform them into household appliances.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №126366
 04.04.2016
About the fashion trends of the spring-frost season on one of the news portals of Yekaterinburg:

The most important accessory this season is a respirator. It will give your image a shade of apocalypticism and safely save you from the smog hanging over the city.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126365
 04.04.2016
XX: I thought, I will pay for karaoke, where I will lie, when you can pay less and play vocals with a teacher! Per minute is cheaper.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126364
 04.04.2016
Review on the site of one of the major stores of computer equipment on a notebook for 160 kilorubies.

Dignity
A wonderful device! Quiet, cool and merciless to any millisecond delays. True, I had to organize life and leisure for this device - the first laptop in the family, for the purchase of which they decided to take a mortgage. But now there is universal Happiness around: the brother stopped drinking and went to school again, the parents changed the furniture in Feng Shui, three times a week they mistakenly deliver other people's sushi and don't take money, the neighbor upstairs on the day exploded a barrel with a barrel and through the ceiling glass to us in the bathroom, and the rats from us moved to him... after the acquisition of Predator we lived in a new way and in turn we bend the local school community in chess online at maximum settings.
shortcomings
Admired and blinded by its glow in a radius of 57 meters. I had to order a special protected box, from which broadcasts are devoted to the imboundness of the device. In the open terrain, passing by people begin to behave as victims of the zombie apocalypse: unclearly splashing and leaking saliva try to get to the note through any natural obstacles, crowding and posing a danger to themselves and others.
Commentary
I strongly recommend the purchase. It is worth setting up a house, selling a kidney, or staying in sexual slavery for a year or two.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №126363
 04.04.2016
References to Headsets:
Benefits: noise insulation
Disadvantages: Driving in an electric car, missed a scandal with a fight

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №126362
 04.04.2016
We only come on Sundays, we are not there for six days. As soon as we appear on the threshold, a hungry wandering cat arrives. We call him Zee No Manj Pa Siss Jaze

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №126361
 04.04.2016
My husband said if I told him. If he does it himself, the next day I will be looking for a new husband.

Is it worth telling him that once he stops standing, he can look for another wife?

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №126360
 04.04.2016
Pamela Anderson said in a program:
At home, I look like an ordinary person, and my sons always saw me as an ordinary person, without hair and makeup. And one day I gathered somewhere, painted... and went out to the children. The younger stared at me closely and with horror: - Wait a second, you are what - Pamela Anderson???? to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126359
 04.04.2016
xxx: draw a pentagram, I went to look for virgins.
Will the virgins come?
If they come, they will spoil all our virgins.
YYY: They can be kept separately
XXX and raise like chickens.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126358
 04.04.2016
I go to the store. Instead, two decent men come out of the store. One says to the other, “So why, when an alcoholic buys vodka, they react to him normally, and when you buy vodka, you are viewed as the last drink?”

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №126357
 04.04.2016
It was long ago. Tourists are peculiar people (for those who do not know). It happened in Mariupol. One tourist decided to check whether he could get to Taganrog in a day without any equipment, and at the same time, in order to simply not walk, told his wife that he would buy bread there. He took the avocado and went.

Mariupol is approximately 50 km from the Russian-Ukrainian border, and Taganrog is somewhere on the same distance on the other side. Well, here he cries, coming to the border. Naturally, the frontier asks the question “Who? Where and where?” They answered “in Taganrog.” “Why?” “After the bread.”

The border guards begin to appear suspicious “Is the roof in place?” They ask the home phone. They call.

Is this one who lives here?

Yes, but he is not at home.

And where is he?

He went to Taganrog for bread.

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