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[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №112675
 27.04.2015
How to cook pasta, al dente?
Yes let me.
After a while:
What are the uncooked macarons?
You said to cook "al dente".
and A-A I thought "al dente" meant "zeb*si".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112674
 27.04.2015
Qqq: Since I dare to hope that my funeral will be crowded, music will need a lot, I have long since started picking up musical accompaniment for this action and even come up with arrangements in the style of the funeral orchestra - with their characteristic thirsty trails, etc.

Qqq: Well, Elegia Massne is herself. The final theme of "Tales of Journeys". (To be listed further ) The removal of the body - under the arium of Pali Racha from the "Gypsy premiere" ("A violinist was Pali Rač - and there is no him"). In general, the topic is quite fascinating, a psychoanalyst with a musical education could dive deep into it.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №112673
 27.04.2015
Spring has arrived now.
You can run without fear.
But because it was possible
It is no longer the taste.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №112672
 27.04.2015
>> Take your blood suckers with you tomorrow!

>> What is it?? to

>> and shoes The fucking car!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112671
 27.04.2015
In the contest of advertising slogans for the network "Eat at home!" won the following:
"We buy 146% of raw materials from domestic producers!"

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №112670
 27.04.2015
They joke about salary. From the fact that everyone's salary will be raised, "bread in shops" will no longer be - the prices will rise stupidly. Work is better. to all.
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Bread in the shops is quite enough, but so far the main bowl will settle not in the citizens, but in a couple of dozens of specific persons, so far a fifth of the state. The budget is settled in offshores, while the governors of the state. Companies have a right (SIC!) hide your income and property, while the thieves of billions from the budget will give you a conditional period of hell and not a decent salary.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112669
 27.04.2015
He needs to give fresh meat soup, white bread, dried and roasted, good wine - malagu.

Try now to offer such a diet to postoperative patients. Guess what doctors will tell you about this?

What confused you? Normal diet of the postoperative patient, broth, soup. Just instead of Malaga I was recommended a cognac (unofficially, of course). Mould after beer to get up often, and a cognac 100 grams after dinner, as a bleach for the night, is perfect for yourself. Well, it is understandable: "if we find it, you will fly out without a hospital", but no one especially looked for it. Well, the operation was not on the gastrointestinal tract, however, as in the work.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112668
 27.04.2015
Question in the office: In what quality do we scan the document?
I: 256 shades of grey

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112667
 27.04.2015
I go home with electricity. There is a nice guy sitting in front of me and looking at me. I shot my eyes and smiled a little. Absorbed by romantic impulses, I turn to the window...Wake up from the fact that I suddenly fell asleep, a delicious drop of saliva flows out of my open mouth.
A nice guy was sitting in front of me.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112666
 27.04.2015
I don’t give peace to the thought – why does not a person sneeze in a dream?? to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112665
 27.04.2015
xxx: The Internet still has a place to grow, for example, on the request "hockey with six" - nothing was found at all.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112664
 27.04.2015
Do you know what a cooled fluid is?
Well, I bought myself quas from the refrigerator in the store. This kind of quinoa is normal. came home. And there is ice.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112663
 27.04.2015
Confession of the artist:

The xxx:
The huge number of wires is my artistic illness.
Drawing a robot? I need more wires.
Drawing a man? I need more wires.
Painting a hermetic armor? No, damn there, more wires.
Was the composition too tight? More of the wires.
Is the composition too full of details? We need more wires.
Painting a Knight in the Middle Ages? We replace wires with ropes and belts and pin them bigger.

YYYY :
He works as an electrician. Either he will no longer be able to see the wires, or he will love his new job.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112662
 27.04.2015
here here :

The goldfish? Thirty-three years, the man could not make the grandmother cuddle, he waited for everything until it was done.

Probably, the specialist in the manufacture of curtains did not pass all by, but the ninja himself.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №112661
 27.04.2015
This is what is surprising: no good doctor will risk taking for his good job as much as a Russian footballer takes for his bad game.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №112660
 27.04.2015
Do not forget the body.

“How good it is to be an intelligent...”
by N. Bogoslovsky

One day in the subway I stopped and asked the road a large family with a bunch of bags. I showed where and where to go and to which station to go.
They thanked and went.
But a moment later I realized I was wrong and sent them in the opposite direction. It was too late, the family had already left.
Since then, ten years have passed, no less, these people, probably, have long forgotten that dumb moscovite who showed them the wrong way, and I do, I still remember, for some reason, still uncomfortable before them. But you could jump into the next train, go after them, somehow catch up, find, apologize...
I don’t know, maybe that’s not quite normal.
But yesterday I met approximately the same person as myself, probably even a snack.

I walked through Stromynka in search of the street I needed and was a little lost. I decided to ask the passers.
I see a man of fifty years, the usual one: a strict suit, a coat, a gray beard.
We made it together and I spoke to him:

Good morning, I am sorry. Can you tell me where the street is?

The man stopped, thought, held out a little pause, then, for some reason, surprised his forehead and... went on, without saying a word to me.
It seems like a man owes you nothing, and yet it is somehow offensive. I went so and thought, “Well, it was hard for him to say, I don’t know. He looked at me like an insect and went on. I am culturally attached to him. A strange man. very strange. Right up to stupidity strange...
After a while, I rattled a woman with a wheelchair, asked her about the road, received an exhaustive answer and added a step.
Suddenly, there were quick steps and a voice from behind:

The young man! The young man! Sorry to! I saw that you have already been shown where the street of Kronenko is! But still...

I looked around, it was that strange man with a gray beard.
He was very upset:

I specifically pursued you so that you don’t think of me, God knows what. Simply, well, I could not speak, around no urn, and I just came out with a cotton in my mouth from the tooth, even if stand, even if you fall, even if you wash. You must understand me. And in any other situation, of course, I would be happy to show you the way. Not well done. Apologize and don’t worry...

It seems like a little bit, but in the heart pleasant, such as us at least two.
I walked along Korolenko Street and thought: - And yet it is good that somewhere around there are decent people who, without thinking about it, can even trust the key to the apartment where the money lies.
And such people probably aren’t as few as they seem.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №112659
 27.04.2015
Now it is clear how the law enforcement system of Russia is organized: for a piece of paper from the fence - planted, for the sworn 3 billion - conditionally, and for a trillion - to reward!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №112658
 27.04.2015
Fuck to fuck! Stop turning the quotation into a forum.


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №112657
 27.04.2015
I’m almost 14, and he’s growing up with me. I am 189 years old. I think about the injury, I need to make the school finish normally. Yes I am Dad.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112656
 27.04.2015
With picabus, discussing condoms with anesthetics:

XXX: So it turns out that the anesthetic works on both sides? I am a baron.

YYY: A guy like one can touch the other. You held it in your hands.)

XXX: you kept it yourself, if you are embarrassed to buy, take a bag and twist it like a prejudice, if of course you know how to twist

YYY : Scuco! Presented the process of deployment. You are right, you are right. This is fucking XD

ZZZ: Lol, the virgin detective

YYY: Yes, a married virgin with two children.

ZZZ: Well having children doesn’t mean being able to use a condom at all, but quite the opposite.

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