What do you think Gagarin thought when he saw the Earth in the Illuminator?
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amorphius: I'm so annoyed by some girls in my contact list, but out of politeness I can't freeze and have to maintain this unnecessary conversation
She: Well, tell them "sorry, I need to go away" and turn on the invisible mode ;)
Amphitheater: Hm...
Amorphius: Sorry, I have to go
She is : :(

I take a taxi in the back seat. There is another passenger ahead. In the magnetol plays the meaningless and merciless Russian chanson-blatnyak. After a few minutes of silence, he said:
Brother, can we put something less striking?

XXX: I just learned that 4,153,237 people were married last year. I don’t want to create a problem, but shouldn’t there be a straight number?

For those who share their Wi-Fi:

Early in the morning, law enforcement officers broke into a resident of Buffalo (New York State), accusing him of downloading child pornography. According to the lawyer of the victim, he was simply dropped down the stairs, and he has scratches and cuts confirming this. It soon turned out that it was not his fault, but the neighbor who connected to his non-password Wi-Fi network.

<[NNZ]DD> and you don’t have classics?
<SKcorp> [NNZ]DD: Are you talking about porn or Zyguli?

She: I wonder, don’t all men eat food and put it in the refrigerator so they don’t wash their dishes? Or only mine?

I read the news:

Evgeny Kaspersky’s son Ivan was released and five of his kidnappers arrested. The culprits face the toughest punishment.

And the first comment:

They will take away their license keys and be placed in quarantine.

Why in all news the kidnapped son of Kaspersky is called "son of Kaspersky"? He doesn’t have a name, or he’s called the Son of Kaspersky. The Kaspersky Cap? OOO

T0N1K: I believe, and crazyly look for it... big, bright, clean!
It’s so romantic that you believe in love.
T0N1K: own apartment

Today in the military commissariat, a woman, moving the closet in her office, burned: “No, we have no men here, only officers...”.
I went in and came to help.)

My niece had a goose in the village.
They decide how they will be called:
Q: How will we be called?
A: Martin
I: And the goose?
and Lady Gaga!

The worse life is, the more people believe in miracles.

I was recently engaged in real estate rearrangement, for which, among other things, I was travelling outside the city - to put the seal of the garden society on one foolish paper.

For a long time I was looking for a place where a man lived with a stamp. Now is not the season, ask someone, live, mostly, builders, repairers, and amateurs of outdoor sports. Among them, in fact, was a family of people with a stamp.

After the correctly-three-time "Hozyaevaaa!", he opened the chalk and went deep into the territory.
Deepened not in a hurry: dogs, holes, traps - there is little danger in the uncharted terrain.

I go, I inspect: the land is wellined, the subsidiary structures are painted, the horoms are good, but without a shelter.
What a cute little hose block... I wonder what they store in it?

After a minute, when I realized that they were stored in the "little house block", it was too late - the owners appeared.
The owner of the block.
Two luxurious, stunning wooly, carnave giant beasts. I am not strong in the breeds of dogs, but what fell out of the giant cone was for Caucasian, Asian and similar shepherds.

Comparing the speed of the dogs with their own capabilities to overcome the desired distance to the cane, I realized that I had no time for the latter catastrophically.

After knocking down, for the least chance, the only door that was on the way to retreat from the house I liked (it, of course, did not shell), I began to make feverish leaps, until I reached the nearest apple tree, on which I flew, without wasting time to look back.
From a height of more than two meters, the layout was thrown: the dogs approached the tree valleyfully. As a thriller. Their demonstrative silence seemed to me quite sinister.

After making sure that the object, on the one hand, is temporarily inaccessible, and on the other hand, absolutely helpless and easily controllable, the shepherds sat at the foot of the apple tree and began to consider their further actions.

Nothing remarkable, apparently, they did not come up with: one of the beasts carelessly splashed on the side and began to scratch lazily, the other, staring at me, stood on the back of her legs, scratched her nails on the apple and issued the meaningless “Gave!”

“What if... if the masters left for Egypt for a week? For two... for three!“There was a terrible thought.
No no no no no no no. and Erund. Someone feeds the dogs. It’s kind of roasted. ... →
At this point, one of the riddles, temporarily leaving the post, attracted a lumpy bull, suspiciously similar to a bullshit human bone, and began to starve vigorously.
“The Piper. Gastarbyters eat” – I alarmingly praised the apple tree, trying to work out at least any plan, other than “calling a friend” or the Emergency Service.

After twenty minutes on the branch, nothing but to whisper for the hundredth time “Hozyaevaaa! Help me!” he did not do.
Then I looked up again and... saw something encouraging: through the window on the second floor - familiar flashes! This is TV! Listening to it, of course! Characteristic drumming issued by a zombie!
That’s why nobody hears me!

The rescue plan matured lightning: several coins were found in the wallet and pockets. I immediately threw them into the glass.
My dog activity noted signs of dissatisfaction. Now, the one who polished the bone, condemned me with a loud laugh, and the second one, who knocked his nails on the trunk, suddenly jumped up in an elastic leap and tried to grab the shoe, lying with sable-like spikes.

After the third coin was thrown, the window opened, and the resident of the house appeared in it, like two drops of water, similar to the grandmother of X. F.
“Morozko” (in the final closes the stands with the inscription “KONEC”)

The bandit! My grandmother cried out from the window.
I am not a bandit, I am behind the press.
The bandit, fuck out!
I am not a bandit...
I am not you, a bandit. and Jack! Go to the place, shit!

The bandit, apparently, was the one who wanted to pull my foot off.
“Jack” is the consumer of mossack.
Both were not touched.

“Nothing will happen,” my grandmother confessed. I fear myself.
We’ll have to wait for George to come back. He is in charge of these ghosts.
will find.

Fortunately, it did not take more than half an hour. During which the grandmother recounted stories from viewed series and heartbrokenly threw cakes with cabbage. Most of the cakes fell into the mouth.
The bandit (Jack still broke his bone), but something happened to me too.

George appeared suddenly. The dogs immediately realized that there would be "something bad" with them now, tried to master the innocent roads, but it was too late. George flew like a whirlwind: the pins and pans were filled.
The first, having received a ringing click on the nose, retreated into the cone Bandit.
Jack, who was endowed with a delicious pencil, and then dragged away for his cuddled ears, ran the second, shamefully throwing his underpolished bone.

I shaken my hand to my Saviour for a long time and cried out words of gratitude.

After placing the print, I went out.

In the summer, I am here again. behind the print. But nothing. Now I know George’s mobile phone.
Who, saying goodbye, explained that he did not need the phone himself especially.
The parents decided what was needed. In any case. I bought it last year.
When George went to the first class...

I turned around at the very cottage: two thistops haris swept away their escaping lunch with a look full of disappointment. I rubbed it with a pen and it was like that.

The Russian government believes that there is a shortage of skilled workers.
And the peasants, add the oligarchs.
And revolutionary sailors. The people are upset.

My dream wife told me:
“I dreamed I was an artificial satellite and I was flying around the Earth. There were still satellites there, and I had an archival task not to encounter them. When I suddenly became quite bored to fly this way, and I saw an American satellite, then with the scream "Here is the chase I catch and the pincet under the ass of the ladies!" I began to speed up, and he in fear tried to escape. And all this was placed in some room and it was still not necessary to smash into the walls of the room. And still in that room stood an elevated object, recognized in a dream as a closet, on top of which two men were sitting: one bearded in lochmots, the other in an Indian fist, I concluded that they were Jesus and Buddha. They played cards. For the money! But who won, I didn’t know, I had to fly on. And when I had a lot of time flying there, I decided to go straight from there to the ocean and sink. I fell into the water and woke up.”
I have one question, so why don’t I dream of such a fancy shit?? to

"When choosing a companion of life and actually it is better to look first not in the decolt, but in the content of the skull"

Treatment on the first date? The original c.

Christ has risen, and what have you achieved?! to

xxx: Today I watched the rating of Bachenov, he says that a white bear is afraid even of a small sandstone.
yyy: no, well "little writer" whom the hoosh scares

comment to the news "The Explosion in the "House-2"" pleased:

Guards should issue instructions where it will be written that unknown packs should not be touched. When you find a package, you choose one of the participants of the project and send it to see. In the case of mule, you give the lucky participant an apple, well or there a banana (shortly something to eat). In the case of a "no hustle" you scream with your partner "We are happy!!And you close the gates, saving the rest of the inhabitants of the house from another vote.
HDD