bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №46423
 24.04.2011
For half an hour, I persuaded my mom under the scream of Kaspersky to erase a letter with a trapped Trojan program from her colleagues at work - a family couple!They are decent people!!! to

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №46422
 24.04.2011
With the child we watch the movie "Morozko" - a scene where Ivanushka and Baba-Yaga command in turn a bubble and the one turns in different directions.
The child - "No protection at the bump, any Ivan-dumb with the rights of the administrator."

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №46421
 24.04.2011
I had an idea... I should give Medvedev a collection edition of WOW... Suddenly this game will save the whole country...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №46420
 24.04.2011
I made a movie about vampires.
A guy and a girl settled behind my wall, though the rules forbade it.
Tags: periodically no fucking
xxxh: at the same time, very unesthetically they will stand..i.e. not even stnut.. ston-it is poetry...and they just crack, crack and crack.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
XHH: I turn on the filmmaker at full volume.
There, first the music is so tragic, then the sound of dogs, then the Earl of Dracula cries out loudly, “Let you be silent, creatures, for the third night already!”! to
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The girl started roaring, the guy coughed nervously, sex broke.
I am hardly laughing here.)
silence and grace))))) murk

[ + 86 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46419
 24.04.2011
A friend about a month and a half crumbled, matured, complained about a tumor in the leg, tried a bunch of ointments, some other figs, and then went to the surgeon. It was a fracture.

[ + 46 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46418
 24.04.2011
Give a man a fish and he will be full for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will die of hunger because there is nowhere to fish.

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46417
 24.04.2011

I go to the country for 3 days, take a computer, but still boring, what to do?
YYY: Find a snail there that is boring too, tell her that you have a dried African cockroach with one nostrils in your barracks.
Go look at him. Clear foam, it will not be in the shore, start looking for it there, bend everywhere, "accidentally" you will find it
A bottle of champagne in the wood.
Do not offer to drink it, only offer to try, to the bottom.
Then you understand yourself.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №46416
 24.04.2011
Walking to the store, I came to the conclusion: the fact that you are smiling meet young people does not mean that you are well painted today, or that even the thickness and the cakes do not give you a fierce break... it is possible that you are cheating in the headphones, and behind you already thirty meters with the speed of the slide floats signaling you BMW X5!! to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №46415
 24.04.2011
xxx: Milla, I am ashamed of ppc... The guy came, asked to do the type of Stalker. I gave him Chernobyl: a zone of alienation. Then went to the playground, watched the video review. Such a shit!!! to
xxx: "Thought-out, organic world with birds..." is a box slogan!
Enemies can run and shoot, and what else is needed from enemies", "In this amazing game you can jump to the box, you can jump to the car, and you can just jump". The man will be pleased.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №46414
 24.04.2011
I am reversed!
Exactly a week before my girlfriend's menstruation, I turn into a goat for her, like by passing a magic spell)))

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №46413
 24.04.2011
The female answer to this philosopher-psychologist:

If a guy is educated, stupid, polite, polite, attentive, caring, then any girl will tell him that he is such a wonderful, such a cool and irreplaceable... a friend. And because a polite, attentive and caring guy is not suitable for the role of an alpha male who would attract a girl at the level of instincts. and bla bla bla.

First, there are no generalizations. What would any girl say? If you have been told this personally, it does not mean that it happens to everyone, always and everywhere.
Secondly, the man in the eyes of women usually makes the alpha male not a height, not a square jaw, not a hairy, and not even a half-meter-long instrument. And the most important and necessary male ability: to quickly make decisions and act. Do you know that a woman immediately begins to feel subconsciously, if the most educated, polite and polite guy rubs and turns around, and everyone does not dare to move on to the matter and show their interest (romantic, erotic, whatever)? That in life together everything will be the same, and decisions will always have to be made by her. and responsibility for them. and solving problems. And the sweet and delicate companion of life will talk in the side and wait until she does everything for him. In the best case - polite afterwards will say "Thank you". and educated.

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46412
 24.04.2011
I will tell you the story, it was in the village, I was 7-8 years old, I went for a walk, I went out of the cottage that was behind the house, and I went to the field, I went 300 meters, and there trees, and I had such a mood was superb, I decided to break the branch, take it and.....she opens her eyes...the picture goes on..the child runs like a necklace and rattles.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №46411
 24.04.2011
On the streets of Moscow, it was noticeably flooded and stunned!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №46410
 24.04.2011
In one of the Moscow paid clinics a month ago came the proud son of the mountains, a Caucasian. He was proud, but his eyes were shaken and somewhat frightened. The girl in the registration, scratching a duty smile, asked him:
To which doctor do you want to go to the reception?
- Listen, I would go to an anesthesiologist, - for some reason the Caucasian answered with a whisper.
Why a whisper? The girl also lowered her voice.
Mean has a parable. I’ll tell the doctor, Noah.
The anesthesiologist does not accept patients.
The girl. Maybe the therapist first. Do you have severe pain?
Nate, as long as Boley Nate. They will soon be strong.

Five minutes later, the Caucasian entered the therapist. Full of compassionate attention and caring involvement, which happens only in paid clinics, the doctor asked:
What are you complaining about?
I am ashamed, Doctor! Owen is ashamed. I am my worthless son.
The people and their matrix. Tell me that you never tell anyone.
I had you.
The therapist sneezed and put his hands in the lock:
I took the oath of Hippocrates. I will not tell.
Harash, the Doctor I need local anesthesia of the arms, legs, abdomen and back.
Urgently, until it has dried up!

The Caucasian began to dress feverishly, and a therapist who saw a lot in his age saw such that he even removed his glasses and began to wipe them quickly.
Almost the entire machined body of the Caucasian was covered with white wax strips designed for hair removal. Only on the chest was seen a pink hairless square.
“Doctor, I was able to touch only one strip! Here is here! The Caucasian
pointed to the chest. So much pain, so much pain, so much pain! I thought that
I will go and cut!
God, why did you pray this wax? Can not simply
to shave?
and Nate! A date for two hours! In order to shake me, I
It takes 4 hours! So delete anesthesia, doctor. I need more.
Succeed with the flowers!

The therapist quietly sat for a minute, dumbly stood on the patient, then shaken, recalled and went for anesthetic.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №46409
 24.04.2011
Dmitry Anatolyevich came to Hong Kong and he was told there that they would turn off the lights after ten. It is better for him to go to Egypt, so that he can be told there how they stumbled on the president who was tired of it.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №46408
 24.04.2011
For almost a century, we have sought a global idea – a life without the use of money; from everyone according to their abilities – to everyone according to their needs, and so on. And finally it happened, built... no, for communism of course - Torrent network

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №46407
 24.04.2011
I go to a girl’s birthday.
OOOO
“No, we’re just friends, that’s why you’re cowardly.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №46406
 24.04.2011
The Master 14:26
Where do you work, that you can use the work iron for personal purposes?
The Champions 14:27
in Russia

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №46405
 24.04.2011
New rules for the inauguration of the president in Russia: the left hand is placed on the Bible, the right on the Torah, the member on the Constitution.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №46404
 24.04.2011
In the shelter, the neighbor has a cat, lining the infection, out of school on my bed to go, and the bed along the window stands. He wants to sit on the window. I lie down and watch his actions. He rattled from the floor, jumped, stabbed almost his teeth into the window, hanged and watched if he touched my bed. Here is the animal, quickly cut off.

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