This is "an illiterate"
In Irkutsk, at one of the boat stations of the Angara River, there is a boat with the proud name "Nessing on the waves". ( by :

xxx: I once started to watch my photos open to everyone - most likely, the girl's legs will also see them. I began to look from the side and think about what my image could be. I look and comment - yes, well, you can see that I am a person with a sense of humor, and here it is clear that I like to drink, and, here is beautiful, oh, again I like to drink, here is funny, here I like to drink, here I like to drink.

ealand (12:30:38 18/04/2014)
Damn, not an office, but a fantasy world.
ealand (12:31:32 18/04/2014)
A female dwarf is there, a lumpy-eyed elephant - up to two pieces, trolls and goblins wander through the hallways, a red witch at the coffee machine hiccuts, cooking grain, and the director in general is an orc)
ealand (12:37:09 18/04/2014)
Sometimes the founder dragon comes, and whom he catches, he will eat, and whom he does not catch, he will pass by, because the colonel is retired.
ealand (12:37:56 18/04/2014)
And any beautiful knight, jumping to release the princess - is added to the collective, and in a month he can no longer be distinguished from the innate goblin)
ealand (12:41:00 18/04/2014)
And only in the distant, darkest cabinet, sits a large and tattooed orc, in combination - the Dark Lord, and commands this entire Evil Empire.
- Your darkness, there have come bright heroes, again to kill you in the name of goodness! The personal blonde captive Elf tells the Lord.
“Annie, tell me I’ll come back in 15 minutes, and then bring them coffee.

I watch Game of Thrones and tell my husband who he is (I read the book before the series).The King died, Stark was executed, Arren died, Wizeris was killed. Here the Mormon boy is killed. Husband:"Well I understood there are no long-lived people there."

In St. Petersburg, on the Palace Square, a Polish citizen was injured. The incident involving a chariot and a horse occurred on Thursday at 14:35 Moscow. The foreigner was injured. The horse was not hurt.

The first comment:
The Comrade Bender?! to

I sit quietly on the PED, hid behind the backs of teachers, check out mini-dictations on biology, work "weak", and, suddenly - "pearl". One of the students - not the best, burned (further with the preservation of the author's style, puncture and spelling) The carcodile is like a yashper, only big. Neo has a Chechnya. The carcodile buries his eggs in a whistle, because if he sleeps with them on a rifle, they are broken. Question of 2. The foxes walk alone, and only sometimes in pairs, when they need to take a young foil into the forest. The wild whisper, the council, practically broken, I barely reassure the rejoicing teachers. Suddenly, in a relative silence, the teacher of English asks: “I didn’t understand, and why was the torch in the forest flooded?” "This is the end of the council.

Season 4 Game of Thrones
XXX: The authors series are the best, no matter how cool.
YYY: What is "Author’s series"?
zzz: I assume that those where the script of the episode was written by J. Martin himself.
YYY: That is, this fool instead of writing a book took on a series?! to
zzz: I feel your pain bro ;-)

- I came to study at my institute, took the book - it was necessary for a course.
The first lesson is a lecture. On the machine I get a notebook, I open it, I get the mouse out of the backpack, I put it next to the notebook.

Today he burned so stupidly and grabbed the hard duels from (J)ena:
Who has wiped the whole chair? Yesterday, the entire apartment was built!! to
I am Sasuke (son of Sasuke).
You just went to the bathroom!!! to
I: I never go to the bathroom at all.

Turkey intends to seek discounts on Russian gas

Not a question. The base of the navy in Turkey is a discount for the Turks. Scheme of work. And if you take into account the number of Russian-speaking population in Turkey... then such cooperation has great prospects.)

to smoke!! My mother will throw me into the grave!! to
I call her home today at 12. and silence. No one takes the cable.
I call the cell phone and it’s silent.
I start to worry: my mom is not young anymore, she lives with her grandmother, who is under 80 years old.
Half an hour later I got a phone call from my mom.
For the first 15 seconds, I listen to the intermittent breathing in the pipe, and I do not succeed. I manage to change my mind a lot, especially considering that the background of breathing is vague noise, nervous screams and child crying. Then finally came my mom. The voice collapses:
"I am in hell! This is a nightmare!! You can’t imagine what’s happening here!!and "
The first thought: Something with my grandmother, calls from the hospital.
Meanwhile, my mother continues:
I’m standing here, at the bread factory, in a row for the cupcakes from 8 in the morning, and they aren’t!!! You know, there is no!!! And I am standing!! There are only the small ones!! I don’t know when they’ll be big!! So many people here! Everyone is waiting!"
I say, "Go away immediately, I will bring you any bullshit you say in the evening!"
"No of course!! I am worthy!! I have to get it!!and "
To whom does she owe?
I am already silent about the fact that a person has 6 shops around the house, to the ceiling filled with all sorts of bulls, including from the mentioned bread factory. But no shit! We are not interested! We only recognize direct deliveries from the manufacturer, and will be suffocating for hours for what we can get in 5 minutes without stress.
The female logic. I love my mother.

There is a young lightweight creature in our contract department. She loves her white Iphone. Something is happening to him all the time. Then during the home drinking he will break the screen, then pour it with boiling water...
Yesterday I went to the office next to the house for the third time in 3 weeks - it doesn't turn on and it's all here. Repaired for beautiful eyes and a sturdy ass. They said that after another fall, contact on the pay was withdrawn.
Today she sits half a day, holding it on a charge. Then he looks at the boss and gives out - Just don't laugh loudly...I glued the charger to the phone...
We are how? O_O
It turned out that her charge began to collapse and she decided to glue it. I bought a small tube of super glue for 9 rubles. and scratched. In the evening, I put the pipe to charge. From the heating when charging, the glue melted a little, and it went into the nest...where it was evenly distributed across the surfaces and the glue stuck.
She invented the world’s first wired iPhone!
I started thinking about how to help her. Hands couldn’t break out. They were even afraid to crack the nest, and they returned it. And she took, and cut off the charging wire under the mole, only a couple of eyebrows pulled out of the device, everything else inside remained.
They brought the idols to the idols. With the help of a screwdriver, cuts and some kind of mother, a colleague forged out of the burner all foreign bodies, including glue.
The girl is happy, Aitishnik has repaired karma.
And you ask - who invented jokes about blondes :)

Yatsenyuk banned from flying aircraft "Aeroflot". Fly military transport, there were no instructions about them.

From Habr:

Vasiliskov :
According to the idea, the most dangerous sound is when the head "falls" (returns to the home position; it sounds as if the arrow of some voltmeter or ampere has ripped sharply into the scale).

by psman:
The most dangerous sound is when the gun is recharged with the words, “Where is this idiot?”“!”

Added

...
xxx: What they will not come up with, just not to invent a flying board by 2015.
yyy: I would like to note that you can add to this car-sharing shoes, a smart jacket, and flying cars. There are only 8 months left.

Strugatsky believes that self-confident shoes were invented in the 1960s. Only they were more expensive than a motorcycle, afraid of dust and moisture =))

We have a fountain with naked women in the area (sculptures of course). As long as there is no water in it, it has not been included yet. The kids looked at it and decided: naked aunts are a mess! They took the colored little ones and painted them cowards and lickers! To whom in the flower, to whom in the straw,

Lee Ro-Nan: My mother is calling now, complaining that my grandmother woke up early and got everyone off. And she woke up, because - now it will be caps - the grandmother was scared of cats!! to

I work as a shoemaker. Marketing and advertising are shit.
The best way to attract a customer is to go to the workshop.
Someone will come in, checked.

Subway777: By the way, this morning saw an epic picture. I stand as usual on the back seat and look into the back window. The car stops at the lighthouse and close to it stops Kruzak. A 25-year-old woman is sitting behind the wheel. I and a few of the passengers started smiling. Then she gets something out of her nose, eats and the tram just goes off the rust. She noticed it and turned away.

My wife has gone out today. We get up in the elevator home and she me (very serious and even, I would say, worried):
You just have to love me today!
What is it?
- Yes, I've been delayed for a week... so you have to dismantle it for me, well, or fix it, so that I'm sure...
- O_O