bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63212
 22.04.2012
"I don't know about sinners, but gamers after death are in the main menu.

[ + 11 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63211
 22.04.2012
We went to the cemetery and then went to the temple. I give the notes to the servant – suddenly something flying side by side without a row and, interrupting us, says: “I only have one name to write down! " Well, one, one – we go to meet her. The name was written, then the candles were picked for a long time - it needed to be as many as possible! To burn for as long as possible. I chose, but remained dissatisfied – poor. I finally learned somewhere. I stand in front of the icon, and suddenly again a vigorous push to the side, again it is a miracle. "Allow me to go," he says. She climbed from the back of the crucifixion, where the candles are put for rest, wrapped her large candle to the cross itself, dropping several other people's candles.
We didn’t say anything to her, and nobody made a comment to the chicken. Probably everyone, like me, lacks illusions – we don’t believe that the beast can be re-educated.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №63210
 22.04.2012
Even a person who knows 20 languages needs a native. In case he cuts his finger.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63209
 22.04.2012
He was dressed in his little shoes (7 years old). We divided into two groups: "Let" and "Give, because they are small". He says:
“Look, here I put together those who are ‘one’ and here are those who are ‘zero’.
It seems that with the choice of the future profession we have decided)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №63208
 22.04.2012
A feeling that you are not in contact, but in the very field where you promised not to sit with all these people.

[ + 133 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63207
 22.04.2012
Yesterday I stood on a pedestrian crossing. Waiting for green. There is a guy next door. With the green light, the car stops. The guy bursting under his nose "mudd" opens the back door, sits in it and immediately goes out from the other side and crosses the road. Driving in shock.

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63206
 22.04.2012
Pakistani baby successfully removed four legs
<oort> [be careful] of how many?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63205
 22.04.2012
About the caravan:

If I ever get married, I will definitely not try to bite anymore.

XY is XY? Do you not need signs to affirm your supremacy?

xx: Well, I’ll first hint at the bridegroom that if he bits more, I’ll break his leg.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63204
 22.04.2012
Yesterday I saw a woman:

Two women in the store.
First, buy water and lemon.
2 – Why is it?
1: Drink water with lemon

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63203
 22.04.2012
The test on the job were passed, the composer apparently got quite busy))))

Tested: Question 16 out of 20
Why are FUJIFILM cameras famous for high image clarity?
Choose the right option
The camera is included in the set.
FUJIFILM uses a multi-stage image stabilization system, which can include optical, digital stabilization, forced serial shooting.
Clear company - clear pictures
When purchasing a FUJIFILM camera, the consumer is encoded for alcohol, as a result - shooting without shaking hands

I have a very good company!!!!))))))))
Cat, admin and shredder!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №63202
 22.04.2012
Meanwhile, we remind students that soon the session and time to start going for a couple

[ + 31 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63201
 22.04.2012
But a generation is growing up who honestly doesn’t understand why their parents are afraid of clowns.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63200
 22.04.2012
Xxx: Something you sat in the girls))
Zzz: I do not sit in them, I rely on them.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №63199
 22.04.2012
YYYY: How to become a Sonic?
Yyy: You drink a cup of vodka, and you’re blue.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63198
 22.04.2012
AngStrem: You understand, not every day Sisadmin comes to the kitchen appliance store... They rarely buy something. Even less often they come for a vegetable turkey. But let him chase that hardest! with a beard.
AngStrem: "Good, GOOD" – he told me at the box...

[ + 35 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63197
 22.04.2012
xxx: Today I pulled out a brochure of Jehovah’s Witnesses from my mailbox. I read. She pulled half out and wrote her comments with a red pen. At the end of the brochure she put a pair and signed the word "God". It was thrown into the mailbox of distributors. I wait.

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63196
 22.04.2012
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Who needs paper books today? Everything strange goes on to the reader. And no censorship of paper books will save here.

YYY: When electricity is cut off, the paper book will become the only source of knowledge. He will be cancelled. I don’t know if you know (I personally know, for example), that there is nothing left of ancient civilizations, just because they kept everything on the Internet.
In ancient times, even clothes were woven from the Internet, and they themselves were made of it. But then there was a fever, the main current stalled, and he banned electricity forever. Actually here. We are waiting for the same. Therefore, please do not rush to throw out paper books and magazine sheets of Youth Technology for the 86th year.

YYY: You’ll say—Fi, it’s nonsense your stories about clothes pulled out of the internet, that’s funny to think.
The ancients had everything foreseen. On the neck was hanging an ornament with a crystal, which was spoken by a special shaman-programmer, and this crystal projected on the whole body a 3D hologram of any clothes. Do you want a shirt? Send the SMS to number 3451. A beach swimsuit if needed, on the number 4876. They lived until the frosts knocked.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №63195
 22.04.2012
Kiss me before I go to sleep... and deeper, deeper.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63194
 22.04.2012
>> We bought a very well-known vendor. There is a manual for activating Device.
>> Despite the fact that the manual contains literally three phrases, the Russian translation is chic:
>> <Power off / power on> = <Power off / power on>.
Per who knows, tell the company and model, I really want it!

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63193
 22.04.2012
The good feat:
Today, apparently, near the house, the Sabbathers were made by the Tajiks..Because the limestone from the protection of the coroids is covered not only the bottom of the trunk of trees, but also concrete pillars.


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