R.K.: One morning, the mechanic of the electric train, which was going from Zelenograd to Moscow, said: “The electric train is going to Moscow with all the stops possible.” I’m sure no one needed morning coffee after that.

The basic law of gender-to-gender economic relations: while “normal” babies are out, the babble goes to the fools.

I work as an operator in a cage. A man approaches and asks:
M - Is there a screwdriver?
I am what?
M is love!! to
I'm careful for what?
M: I have to pull the bull!! to

mishutka

[16:00:39] xxx: Hasids roast goats on the balcony.
[16:01:21] vvv: On the wheel? Or in an anal exorcist?

When Chuck Norris gets drunk, he doesn’t call his ex. The former calls him.

Do you want to swallow? What are your plans for the evening?
Working, eating and sleeping
The animal!

Discussing an honest photo
I see the breasts of Monica Bellucci.
yyy: Tractor, ducks, chicken, shell roof, boxes, wooden board-seat on the frame, luggage room not even on the big, orange tank, apples... I am careful!
zzz: Shiffer on the shell shell, third hose. The tractor battery has flowed, the chicken has a congenital dislocation of the left leg.

Lav: We played Minecraft four – I, Sul, Lena and Nadia
Let’s go fuck with the mobs.
Lav: Everyone has died, and Nadika has won all the mobs, gathered our anger and...
LAV: Stabbed into the lava
That’s why hope dies last.

The fucking teacher of me.
In the lesson, we look at pictures from my collection on the projector,
accidentally comes out a picture with breasts, seven-class students are hysterical...
I’ve found something to be surprised, each of you sucked it in your childhood!”

XXX: I am scattered
YYY: And you came here to complain about it?

What is the guarantee that tomorrow will not be better?? to

In the theatre, as a rule, the texts that can be read, the actors do not teach by the mouth, but simply read from the sheet. I did not remember what the spectacle was, but the point is that in the course of the stage, a man runs into the scene and passes a letter to the king with the words:
Your Majesty, a letter to you!
The King unfolds the scroll and... Oh, horror, there is no text (colleagues joke). But he was an experienced artist and, returning the scroll to the racer, says:
Read the race!
The artist who plays the role of a gunner, too, was not a lick of sheets, returns a letter to the king:
You are not literate, Your Majesty!

I came home with a note on the table: “I’m okay, I’m at my grandmother.” I sit here and think, husband or son.

RT @Selfish_Muse
What is the name of the coffee we drink? Oh yeah Cunnilingus? by Kamasutra?
and Katya! His name is Sumatra. It is :)

from ZH:
Today, a guy suddenly enters the office with a bold and determined face.
and immediately:
How to talk to the management?
The management of the business, what are you talking about?
- I am from criminal investigation, - shows the certificate. Give your boss’s mobile.
I called the boss and gave him a mobile number. He went out into the yard, held talks there for a while, so that we didn’t hear.
Everyone has a point to zero, everyone recalls convulsively - who crossed the street on the red light, who accidentally struck the passing person and did not notice if there are few cases...
He returns satisfied. It turned out that we had a sample calendar hanging on the wall, where a photo of his daughter got. He wanted to buy it.
The calendar was given to him.
It remains unclear why during the visit the courtyard was not blocked by OMON, and a pair of gas grenades did not fly into the windows.

XH: So, explain why you lied to me???! to
WOW: to be honest?
XXX: No, it is crazy!! Shut up again!!! to

Today, I jumped on the weights until the shooter stumbled at 56 kilograms.

My friend is sitting and watching youtuber. And suddenly as he screams - "Blaat!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Just as she can!!!A man immediately escaped to his screen. And it was he, it turned out, found a play/stop button on the headphones.

I: I don’t have anything to wear...Summer came suddenly...
husband: you, pl, like the government of Russia, for you any season is a big surprise :))))

Hello, I bought a car!! Congratulations to Grant!
He says: I congratulate you. Now I will call you a monkey with a grant.