bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127516
 29.04.2016
is easier

The surface area occupied by one catch is approximately 0.2m2.
Do you have a Maine Coon?

Cats have the uncertainty of Heisenberg. You can determine where he is, but you can’t know when he will be there. She closed the door yesterday, after releasing one cat, convinced herself that the other cats did not want to enter, began to close the door and struck the cat. Is that how he got there? There was no him.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127515
 28.04.2016
The water pipeline? In the Versailles? It will be enuresis. I was in this Versailles, and a local French tour guide told me that at first the sewage was not rebirthing there. Every nobleman joked in the rooms wherever he came, which is why the local peasants came up with the proverb "Versailles you will find by smell." Well, secondly, the fountains with lead pipes could not hold the required pressure, so at the same time the fountains did not work. There was only one fountain, where the king was walking at that moment... so crash in the corner, and it will be like Versailles...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127514
 28.04.2016
and ==
Doctors could not help, drugs did not work or did not work as they should - for example, when taking even a small dose of anapriline, I went from tachycardia under 130 to bradycardia 40. I searched everything possible and found nothing.
...
As soon as the attack began, I sat down to play and the attack passed.
...
And now attention, the question: should I, when engaged in medical practice, recommend patients with heart rhythm disorders to throw away beta-blockers and pump paladine?
and ==
I guess you didn’t have a psychiatrist. This is a psychosomatic disorder in its pure form. Such patients who have everything okay, but the heart beats and the pressure jumps, need to recommend something from increased anxiety. You can pump paladins, you can drink beer, you can take special prescription pills. But generally - send them to a psychotherapist, there they will solve.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127513
 28.04.2016
YYY: What is Concatenation?
XXX: Strictly Combined
YYY: Is that good or bad?
XXX is natural.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №127512
 28.04.2016
What a foolish Europe! People talked about the Middle Ages - they stumbled on to pursue Versailles, which was erected in the middle of the seventeenth century, the New Age even according to the version of the very upper border has already begun. Truth is a friend to us, but to fuck up Versailles, who are historical figures, is more expensive - as well as the fact that it has less to do with the Middle Ages than Gagarin's flight to the serfdom)))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127511
 28.04.2016
Better would you calculate the optimal trajectory, in which the probability of hitting a cat would be minimal.
WOW: Clearly conceivable, the trajectory will be near the ceiling.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127510
 28.04.2016
Novosibirsk hunters gain weight and start the struggle for females

Human females lose weight and start fighting for males

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №127509
 28.04.2016
The moment of the free will of cats is not entirely illuminated.
By default, it is assumed that they are chaotically distributed across the apartment like ikebans.

It is not always so. A thoughtful cat can deliberately neglect calmness.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №127508
 28.04.2016
The server failed after a remote restart, admin correspondence with managers in Telegram:
Andrew, are you in the office?
Man 1: No, what is it?
AAA: Yes, I rebooted the servax, and after rebooting it with the inite did not connect any shit, you have to look
I am in the office, what should I do?
ADM: Come to the servo, the monitor rolls on it, it lights up?
M2: Lights up, login password asks as usual
ADM: ANU PROMOBI key there next to it is lying on the left of the table, go under your account
ADM: Oh, stop, it’s running, don’t hurry, it’s working!! to
I haven’t even taken the keyboard yet.)
Men1: Serwak clearly realized that the admin had too long hands and decided not to experience the fate of ROFL

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127507
 28.04.2016
Now tell me...

In Germany, a Russian emigrant was fined for helping a neighbor with the wiring. Type, no license electrician + breads bread from the locals. Cherry on the cake - the neighbor himself on it and hit it (there is so accepted if someone forgot). So don’t tell us here, "residents of Germany since 1996".

...you "somebody told" or read on the "internet"?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127506
 28.04.2016
Where do engineers come from?
The first thing his son drew in his life was a wheel, then many wheels, then a doctor’s sausage on wheels, embodying machines.
And this degree was neither shifted nor downgraded in the next 18 years. Cars, cars and cars.
It is good that he has a tendency to accurate sciences.
He is currently studying as an engineer and engineer.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127505
 28.04.2016
by Zadolba-Nsu 20205

This is precisely because of such brilliant "form creators for electronic filling" work with them and organized through a known place.

Cap asbe suggests that the electronic(!) A form designed to be filled by a human must be convenient to be filled by a human, not convenient to be processed by a robot.

You would have already come out there - in the courtyard of the 21st century, a convenient form for people to fill in for the collection of data necessary for the formation of a contract can be hanged on the site, and on the site to write a script that will take these data, process and give in a form understandable for the robot-receiver (although rtf-ki for printing, although csv/txt-book for import to BD).

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №127504
 28.04.2016
Famous British actor Orlando Bloom came to Donbass as a goodwill ambassador
One of the comments:
and Ura! The elves for us.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127503
 28.04.2016
I wanted to sort.
Here is a panic attack.
Cats are wandering.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127502
 28.04.2016
"...So, tell us about the miracle city with cyclists on the street!"
For example, from Vladivostok. In a small squirrel from the age of six months, you can train on an ellipsoid trainer for your pleasure. The area is not cool at all. A pair of ellipsoids and running paths and all sorts of turnips - Swedish walls. Iron and anti-vandal.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127501
 28.04.2016
So crash in the corner, and it will be like Versailles.

Such was the initial quote about the fact that modern Russia in terms of caring for home territory is closer to medieval France.

And a little correction. I don't know what you have there for the French conducted an excursion, but the fountain tubes in Versailles worked quite normally, but the king of the time, Louis, was very nice, so that he stood on the balls and the normal operation of the fountains banally lacked funds, and yes, they included them there only where the Majesty wanted to walk.
In Europe, washing was normal. It was only expensive for them to warm the bath. The peasants stole the sickness in the Lord's forests in order to warm up, not to wash, and not to bathe there for the whole winter. The gods did not have such problems (although the lords there also met with different wealth).
But the rich had another problem. A very expensive dress. Dresses made of bark and silk have not been washed there for centuries, although they have been passed on by inheritance. For hygienic purposes, under the dress were worn underwear. Here they were washed. Only the sweat left its smell on the upper dress. For this reason, perfumes were invented. Although the sache of different kinds to not hear the smells of city streets is also an invention of those times.
So I don’t see any sense in denouncing someone’s ancestors as fools, and proud of their ancestors who have a culture of washing if they themselves turned into fools.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127500
 28.04.2016
As practice shows, in Russia it is much better to be last than extreme.

My Uncle Fedor.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127499
 28.04.2016
xxx: in the grapevine of grammarnazi, a new pearl in the innet "Every time I read in for bread"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №127498
 28.04.2016
The Friday. End of working day. Send a fax. In the other office fax on the machine. After the fax seems to have passed, I call to find out (at the same place, but by another phone), whether everything is okay, whether everything is visible on the leaflet, etc. And there already turned on the auto response - said, the working day is over. and OK.





On Monday morning I call back early to find out what happened. The cable is taken by the secretary. The dialogue:

Good morning! A company like that? How was it on Friday?

How... they ate.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №127497
 28.04.2016
I bought an apartment and lived apart from my parents. A month later I got the account. I paid for it and now I get new ones every month. What did I wrong? Maybe they didn’t have to pay first, or did they think I was bad?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna