There was a dialogue with Cleverbot.

I: What is the main question of life, the universe and everything else?
Cleverbot is 42.
I: This is the answer. I want to know the question.
Cleverbot is difficult. I have to think.
I: How much?
Cleverbot: 10 million years old.

I am neither optimist nor pessimist. I am an alcoholic. In my case, half a glass of whiskey, half a cup.

OJIEHB: Well, they provide services and what? The asphalt is laid under the contract: the asphalt is laid, the money is received, and it disappears, and after them, and after spring, the asphalt itself disappears. To see the asphalt alive and clever, he returns to the owner himself so that he can earn money on it again.

I'm doing homework under another talk show of the federal channel.
Another drunk police officer shot a high school girl to death and fled. There were eyewitnesses, the car was expensive, noticeable, he was immediately detained. He sits, repents, and is asked why he left the place of attack. He, a man about 30, replies: "He was in shock"
He is asked how he got into the police, he says after the army.
Have you served in the army for years?
- Yes
Was there nocturnal alarm?
of course
So you are sleeping at night, suddenly, alarm!!! Go up!! You are in shock...

In the courtyard, one of the mothers of her 4-year-old child insistently called "Lenka". No matter what they said "mama" did not say categorically. "Lenka" and that’s all. Well, she was taught to go out with the child to walk and hide. And when he starts calling, don’t go out until he says “mama.”
In general, the baby is walking, Lena is sitting behind the bushes.And then the child realizes that the mommies cannot be seen.
See also: Lenka!
See also: Lena!
Tagged with: lennočka!
The baby: Mom!
Happy Lena, coming out of the bushes: I am here!
Shit, you are angry: shit!
Neighborhood: Better already "Lenka"...

XXX: Oral order not even to rub your ass.

Imagine a couple, almost perfect. He is a scorpion and she is a fish.
One of them: I presented. He gently calls her “my fish,” and she gently calls him “malefoot.”

Today, a general mail to the whole office came a letter from Finn.Dyr, which is sometimes delayed in the office:

"Dear colleague of book lovers!

Please do not hesitate to come to me and take the 865 sheets of the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" you left yesterday for print.
I have something to tell you.

Good day to all!"

Have you been a little late, are you waiting a long time?
It wasn’t long before I met Zen.

RSSBot: "The Ministry of Defense ordered a satellite detection system"

SERGEY: Because it is a mess. Satellites are launched? They launched.
And where are they? have to find.

Where are my socks?
In the closet.
A minute passes.
Q: What is in the closet?
And the socks.
Whose socks are?
J is yours.
M: Where is...?

Melt, until 9am today I thought the neighbor with the perforator was such a literary character... :((

The theme of spring.
<windYy> Recently, a picture was seen near some hospital - a man went out in the shells, looked at them and went on the street.

It is difficult to trust an information security teacher who, along with a task on the flash drive (if there is an electronic environment in the university), has a fun life of several viruses.

YouTube video about a man who very quickly plays the "Flight of the hammer" on a guitar and a comment to it:

Evgeny

It is terrible to imagine how he shakes.

The story takes place in the distant 1970s. As first-time students and after finishing the first semester, a planned meeting was held at the university, where the results of studies were summarized and discussed. It all happened in the acting hall, in the presence of all the deacons and a huge flow of students. From our group spoke the elder:

- Our group "such" has a not very good score this semester, only an average of 3.62. NOOOOOOOO, we hope, looking into the future, that we will not fall into the dirt of the face and raise the average score to the next semester to 4.12...

Even the dean smiled, I think the reaction of the students can be silenced. So, whoever understands the subject))) And they said no freedom of speech. The stricter the regime, the thinner the humor.

by Forn:
“I want to express hope that everything will be well. This bill will work in the interests of our citizens. We will believe, and faith will save,” said during the discussion of the bill one of the authors, the head of the Duma Committee on Public Associations and Religious Organizations Yaroslav Nilov (LDPR). Atheists and those who doubt the adequacy of the proposed document for adoption Nilov advised to watch the film "Life of Pi". “A very good film, which shows how in inhumane conditions, only by faith you can save yourself and survive,” the deputy said.

Nick Nathanson:
How much ignorance in one paragraph? I’ll watch Life of Pi, and I’m sure I’ll like the movie, but let him look at California and see how the drug fucking solves all the problems.

From Habr:

Wikipedia is included in the list of banned sites

The commentary:

hf35: "Now Jimmy has persuaded me to donate to Wikipedia"

My son is 5 years old: "Mom! And Moscow is such a city where everyone rides on "Moskovich", yeah"
I: "I don’t even know what to say to you, son..."

from ZH:
However, nothing compares to September 10, 2000. Then in the morning I went out for bread and bought my first LCD monitor. In the afternoon, he went out for cigarettes and bought a car. It just coincided somehow.