bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127833
 08.05.2016
From Habrahabra:
Thro its existence, humanity has tried to explain all the unexplained with the help of the higher forces – the Gods. In our time, all incomprehensible things are explained by the proverbs of the special services..."

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127832
 08.05.2016
XHH: As paid and driven, a good reinforcement for the Slovan.
WOW: What is it? How did they pay?
I think it’s potatoes.)
WOW: What you think of potatoes and without this comment was clear. Try your brain :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127831
 08.05.2016
xxx: I have a family over my head (upstairs) in which there is a girl ~19 years old, but behaves like a small child. She constantly roars if she doesn’t like something, runs like an elephant, etc. I live in Stalin, so you know how loud it needs to be, so that I can hear the essence in detail.
It’s always like when someone is wrong on the internet.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127830
 08.05.2016
I sit with a girl in the kitchen, she reads the news.
Something good is written there?
D: I don’t know, I’m looking at the list of countries favorable to immigration.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127829
 08.05.2016
XXX is great with you :)
yyy: Oh, yes, dear, I am undisputed and vertical :))
XXX: And horizontal often, but not with me :-)
yyy: Similarly ;) So here are the quotes ;))
xxx: I am going to go :)
You are translating verticals into horizontal parallels! and :)
xxx: Let me...only take into account that according to all the laws parallels do not cross :-) if anything
YYY: Our motto is to live lobachevsky! and :)
YYY: And I’ll even be arranged with prependicular ortogonals :)
xxx: )))))))) have agreed

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127828
 08.05.2016
No, I can’t go to hell. There are Hitler, Churchill and Pope, I don’t like them.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №127827
 08.05.2016
I have two pitbulls, a rottweiler and a cat at home. The Rottweiler in a jump pulls 120kg from the chest, the pitbulls together and alone can swallow the alaba and even the alaba, a cat that has covered all the cats in the district and dislodged all the cats, builds dogs and eats out of their dishes. The cruelty of animals is just overwhelming. But everything changes when he comes – the vacuum cleaner...

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127826
 08.05.2016
It’s curious, but nobody even pays attention to the fact that all IQ tests test not so much the ability to find solutions, but the ability to think pattern.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127825
 08.05.2016
by 20263
As a result, my mom takes the cloth in her hands or I have to throw everything and clean up (go to the store, cook), and eventually the mood is ruined in both.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Yours is nothing like that. My shit will get sick, no matter how you help. But still needs help. Probably after the shit.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127824
 08.05.2016
I'll get up and go to work now.
YYY: Did it work?
xxx: not

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127823
 08.05.2016
You need to clean a thick layer of things, wash the floors (they are not only not washed for months and repeatedly described, but still completely covered with plasticine and stickers), a plate with 10 layers of burned liquids, sanitary equipment in the appropriate condition, unfreeze and wash the refrigerator (I can't, it smells).

Then the fire! Azazello cried out, the fire with which everything began and with which we all end. and c)

[ + 8 - ] Comment quote №127822
 08.05.2016
Yes is alone.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Fuck, I am the one that I come to the store for a specific thing, knowing the approximate prices in advance and having the means, I take, if I found a suitable one, and the currency from there, because life is one and to spend three hours of time to slide through a bunch of all the fuffle I am stupidly sorry?
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
You are the most original, the most unique, the only beam of light in the dark kingdom, the wisest of all who have ever lived on this dirty land, all the others are not worthy to sit with you on the same site. So you would go from here, chicken.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №127821
 08.05.2016
Every new official bites out another piece of your freedom.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №127820
 08.05.2016
I remembered when I was told the “truth.”
I go home once, and on the bench at the entrance there are three old women sitting and talking. Well, I was a courteous lady, greeted and also stopped to break a couple of phrases. And women tell me with almost conspiracy whispering about what kind of fool our chief in the house – and the doorstep just at his entrance repaired, and the car parking lot for himself equipped, and the money was probably overwhelmed...
And I listen and fall, as it is fashionable to say, into cognitive dissonance. The fact is that the head of the house is my father, a retired man who works as an engineer. And this is the situation from the point of view of our family: the father comes from work tired. And then a bell came to the door: a sanitary technician came with a request to sign the act of the works performed on the repair of the pipe in the basement. The father changes his clothes and, having not eaten, goes into the basement to check the pipe. He discovers that the work has been done halterly and the pipe will not flow today or tomorrow again, and the act does not sign. The next day he climbs into the basement again to take the rework. In the evening, the father sits on the internet and studies the laws. This helped him save 80,000 rubles, which the management company wanted to cut off from the tenants of our house for the prevention of elevators. The father simply wrote a letter to the deputy and the management company, where he referred to the law and to court decisions on similar issues (decisions not in favor of the management companies). This money was paid by the company itself. Naturally, such a thorough approach could not like these comrades, so the too competent head of the house decided to move. For this, rumors began to spread, which came to me through women.
Interestingly, when I told these ladies, they were still sitting with suspicious mines. I explained to them that only at the doorstep of our entrance was the armature, that parking spaces for cars were built at each entrance - you just need to take off the bench and go to see. That personally our family doesn’t need a car parking at all – we don’t have a car. That the work of the chief at home was not paid, that all documents on the arrival / expenditure of funds were checked and there were no claims. I explained and saw that they didn’t believe me. After all, it is so pleasant to rinse in the dirt of a person and so unpleasant to make sure you were wrong! In the end, I offered these ladies to take on the honorary duty of chief of the house – for some reason they refused to do so, referring to their age. She suggested that their children/children were the main ones – “you are what, they are working, they have no time.”
Eventually, my father was removed. At the new meeting of tenants elected a new head - a woman whose girlfriend in the same management company works. When this woman was doing business, the senior on the 5th floor (a man) asked her: "When the roof will be repaired, will you personally go to work? In the basement? And can you determine whether the work is done well or badly?” the woman in response only knocks her eyes. After all, she can count money (a accountant), she can sign papers - and nothing more from her managing company and you do not need.
Not funny, of course, the story. But personally for me the saddest thing is that people choose not only the head of the house, but also the mayor / head of the republic / president on the same principle. The sad thing is that people are willing to believe any ugliness they tell about a decent person. And “on hurra” to take a well-spotted fool.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №127819
 08.05.2016
From the machine rebellion we will be saved by the aunt of the accounting. You get out of the shelter, you see a broken Skynet and Alephtina’s aunt “I didn’t press anything!”

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127818
 08.05.2016
There is a tram in Dnieper with the advertisement of a steel mill and the slogan: "The merger of strength and spirit". There was iron and carbon.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127817
 08.05.2016
There is a lot of ice there.
XHHH: Hasky Katali on Sanskrit not so long ago)
Here is your fun.
Aiditz: Was it not hard?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127816
 08.05.2016
Thank you, people who leave candy on the graves, without you I would never have seen a dog crumbling with fantasies.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127815
 08.05.2016
God only worked six days, and we have to work all our lives.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127814
 08.05.2016
"The second millennium began on January 1, 2001"

What? → So I wrote it all literally...
The second began in 1001 and ended at the end of 2000.
It is now the third millennium of the RH. The surprise!

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