bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127713
 05.05.2016
> All girls would be like that.
and gt;
“Hmm... no one told you that you’re divine?” ahahah, study JS to understand how romantic a man is)

Yes Yes Yes. First, love my favorite movies, get into my favorite book, learn the history of my favorite hockey team, go with me for meetings with my friends and STOP reading your stupid books, watch your idiotic movies, engage in your stupid hobby, once it doesn’t bring money, chat with your friends jokes... And then I leave, you’ve become boring and boring, I’m not interested in you.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127712
 05.05.2016
Eibon: DarkSouls is like a gaming game in an enemy state – you were not waiting here, you are not happy here, you are not needed here... but you are not giving up!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №127711
 05.05.2016
Girl, what do you do?

- I, please, condoms for 20 kg (I didn't know what I gave at the time).

The woman looked at me with round, astonished eyes.

- Well, about this size, - I show my hands somewhere 35-40 centimeters.

There is no scene. I, in confusion, say to the astonished pharmacist:

If you don’t have them, take at least 18 kg.

He still cannot say a word. I thought that only a few small pampers remained.

- I don't need the little ones, he'll write there, so that it's not tight.

At this moment the gift of speech came back to the pharmacist, and she said:

All the condoms are on this window. and choose.

Then I realized exactly what I asked for...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127710
 05.05.2016
When I was 13, I wanted a bicycle. Especially because my best friend has all broken down on his own. I very much wanted to join him. A family trip to Turkey. I don't remember exactly how, but my mom and I agreed that I would not go on vacation and stay at home. In exchange for the money saved on my trip, we agreed to buy the desired big. There was a birthday on my nose, and I could get a nice gift. As a result, I looked at a bunch of photos from the rest and listened to how everyone had a great rest... Great never got. I still remember. I bought a bicycle at 18 years old.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127709
 05.05.2016
When I was a small pizzak (2000-2001) I discovered that a video file could be inserted into Power Point. I started with some 700 megabyte film (on my 20GB sightseeing barracuda there were only 2-3 movies. It wasn’t a green mile, but it was also something very cool. I put the movie in, it works. Weight of a few kilobytes.

Losha Grandma would be jealous of my archivist if he knew about my development. 700 megabytes I cut to 2 kilobytes! Compression is 99.999997%.

After that, I deleted the film by releasing 700 megabytes on the hard drive. In the future, I compressed my entire video collection, the music in this way. It’s a pity that the games didn’t run out.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127708
 05.05.2016
Sitting for 20 minutes is just as profitable as working the same 20 minutes for 175 rubles? Or am I not understanding something?

Often exactly so.
Amortisation during the same period may amount to 350.

I remembered a colleague’s story.
She sits at home on the weekend, relaxing with a glass of good wine, her favorite book.
Then one of the former cavaliers calls her and invites her to sit down, "blow up a beer ".
She didn't go and explained this way - why do excessive body movements, drag somewhere, change the wine for a buchlo, and still and then to endure when you are bored?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127707
 05.05.2016
The title "Strategic of the Year" is awarded to the author of the text of the song "Split the Fire" for the phrase "How bridges burn after you when you arrive".

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127706
 05.05.2016
There is not much power in one hand.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №127705
 05.05.2016
My parents came back from Tuva. somehow. All roads are slow. One crossing could not be overcome: we had to stay overnight and wait for the snow to clear up.
told in more detail. Through the crossing nobody could move, because the road was barred by KamAZ, which could not get to the mountain (despite the chain on the wheels).
Desperate, they decided to go back. On the way back, the parents met a snow cleaner who did not even try to go to the mountain. Because on the order of the boss he has already had time to change to the summer tire.
Snow cleaner on summer tyres. Not to defeat us.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127704
 05.05.2016
Try to fuck at work - you will not only save on toilet paper and water, but you will also pay for this time!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127703
 05.05.2016
XXX: Let’s leave at 3 to 4 p.m.
Yyy: Well, rather at 4. Here is a wonderful electricity at 17:39.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127702
 05.05.2016
Ukraine needs a National Guard to deter Russians, Russia needs a National Guard to deter Russians. No one likes the Russians.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127701
 05.05.2016
IRL
It’s useless to put the ball on Dad. The ball goes off from Dad.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127700
 05.05.2016
Djatlov: Do you know why the Red Button is an entire suitcase, not a pocket device?
There is a glacier. And in the instructions of the officer with the suitcase it is clearly stated: if the first person wants to snatch the button - it has shaken and it should be immediately protected by this icebreaker.

And in general, the Red Button is clearly associated with the box on the wall at our institute, 1988-89. "In case of fire, break the glass, press the button, wait for the spark". A wise man decided to check. The button fell inside the box. Nothing more happened.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127699
 05.05.2016
Repair of ACP 17000R. Hurry to!
XXX What? Breaking the ACP?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127698
 05.05.2016
XXX: She was a woman on the amateur - lush waist, long chest, furry legs, thin hair, white eyes and brown teeth.
YYY: Oh shi...
Take it out of my head.
XXX is 😉
YYY: here someone... khm... problem little endian - big endian happened, judging by description
XXX: the bytes moved
YYY: exactly what is coupled
XXX: then already bytes in int32
YYY: and be-le problems only at least 32-bit data and there are...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №127697
 05.05.2016
The Lord created the traditional Easter miracle and turned the unsold pebbles into a "Spring" cake.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127696
 05.05.2016
In five days it will be 40. Fuck what to do? Apparently just yesterday finished the universe, the apartment, the car, the daughter, etc. Everything goes so fast, 40 times. Just now I realize, man, in less than a week you will be 40. How is it?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127695
 05.05.2016
My favourite is 8! He drank a litre of alcohol and in half an hour he thought that he liked sober women. What was this?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127694
 05.05.2016
Give me money, man!

and no.

What if I find?

You won’t find anything – you bought the last gun.

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