bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №6056
 29.05.2008
The Princess:
In short..I re-printed the course... well that is there with all the amendments, the type of page number, etc. and when it is printed I take it in my hands and I understand that the sheets are all black.
Well, I’m so shorter, I lay under the table... I get the cartridge... and cat... that’s where the shit just came.
In short...I open the cartridge...there’s paint as a fan...but it’s in the form of powder...so I’m just blackened...the whole room...the whole room!! I have all my mouth, my nails, my legs, my hair, I’ve been sitting on the floor for a long time, I didn’t even know where to start, because every single move I made gave rise to more and more black... I gave rise to absolute darkness!Imagine a picture... I am sitting on the floor all in ink, so dull and only one word in complete silence -...

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №6055
 29.05.2008
To us in the research institute 2 trainees arranged... No, well, I understand everything, but sitting behind one comp to write anecdotes in the notebook and then tell them to each other - this is the finish.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №6054
 29.05.2008
Advertising in the universe on the sort "The toilet is not correct. Working - in the southern wing" And at the bottom of the mark is written "compass at the watch";

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №6053
 29.05.2008
The troupe quietly and unnoticedly crashed to the pipiska and stumbled into the cheek for diversity.
...
<abadonna> Thus pipiska becomes a passive necrophile.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №6052
 29.05.2008
He thought it was a product of his time, and was a semi-fabricate.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №6051
 29.05.2008
It was in the distant Soviet times. Sochi workers fired from work

for drunkenness.

All-knowing colleagues told them that in Abkhazia, in the city of Gagra opened

A new restaurant, and there are musicians needed. When they arrived at the hearing,

were adopted

for work, with the provision of accommodation, food and other benefits.

The first day showed that here for the song are willing to give a "troika", and not

“Ruby” as at home.

And more orders. And the sea is warmer, and the fruits are hotter.

Not work, but a home of rest. And they decided not to “talk at all.”

At least at work...

It means “dive” into the buffet in secret from each other.

On the third day - two banquets, the "Bitcom" hall, all songs on order, and

They are constantly invited to the table. Gathered in the fist, they refuse.

“We don’t consume at the time of execution” and so on.

Red is like that.

The next day they come for lunch. They say to them, “You

The Director!”

Offers are coming. “Have you run yesterday? You were the first! half a silence.

Only only.” enter the office. Sitting the director, such a grey Georgian, angry

and silence,

Through their gaze. Waiting for a pause, he gives, gradually moving to the scream:



You are wild beasts! You are respected, all conditions!

Who are you like?! What do you think about Sibiu?!! Yesterday was a anniversary.

Dear Avtandil Apollonovich, and you tried to drink with him!!! such

I don’t need musicians.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №6050
 29.05.2008
It is strange that in the "country" of Russia at Eurovision Bilanu did not help yet and

Putin, showing on the back of sambo techniques...

[ + 5 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №6049
 29.05.2008
28.05.08 00:43:43, kingofroad
North Carolina has passed a law banning oral and anal sex between non-family partners
In North Carolina, there is a law that states that if unmarried men and women as spouses fit together in the same hotel room, they are declared husband and wife.
In North Carolina, it is considered a crime to whistle a key in a hole.
In North Carolina, it is forbidden to use elephants in the fields.

28.05.08 00:44:30, kingofroad
I have to work in this state.

Was it because of the elephants?? to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №6048
 29.05.2008
A pair of software. The "Scientific Survey" The teacher asks the student a question. He does not have a conscript, coming out of the situation, he takes a conscript from a comrade, looks long into his incomprehensible manuscript and tries to answer with fragments of phrases, the author of the conscript rises to his aid explaining what is written here. All this happens under the hustle of the entire audience because the instructor all this time commented on their actions: "you need to have your own external media, but you can also use someone else’s)", "and now we are seeing a reading error)", "Error 404", "what would you do with your winchester if it worked so?)", when the 2nd student stands up and they both look into the handwriting - the teacher reaches everyone with the phrase "and now we see an example of a 2x nuclear processor)".

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №6047
 29.05.2008
Put the auto replacement in the word "Joppa" -> "problem", "pi#@ec" -> "error".
Collecting support messages has become much more comfortable.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №6046
 29.05.2008
The surprise is when you go to a kiosk without painting at 23, where you have been buying cigarettes for five years, and you are asked: “Girl, are you 18?”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №6045
 29.05.2008
MachungwaTM: Are you afraid of everything in the world? Remove everything from the light!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №6044
 29.05.2008
from the forum. The title of the topic: "Smashing the BIOS". Just collapsed at work with Epokovskaya momka - her bios was glued. I thought I would help a man do something...where...

<Tokarev>
I washed the old computer under the water. After that, the BIOS began to swallow and who stopped loading. There is an operating test.and it detects only 8 MB of 256 MB! ! to And then I break the settings... and only half the BIOS window! and then I stopped running at all.

<square>
Did you wash your mother?

<Tokarev>
and yes. I haven’t cleaned it for 10 years. There is 2 kg of dust.

<square>
Pay under the water stream?

<Tokarev>
Yes Yes

<square>
Are you an idiot? It’s strange that she earned it at all.

<Tokarev >
Stop talking, I didn’t create this topic!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №6043
 29.05.2008
A call to the door:
Hello, do you believe in God?
– No...
Buy the cocaine!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №6042
 29.05.2008
Well, what s.ka informed my proger about updating the top of the abyss every couple of hours. He previously thought it was updated once a day, read in the morning and worked quietly all day.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №6041
 28.05.2008
But when the transitional age passes, you know exactly what you want ice cream :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №6040
 28.05.2008
xxx: Yesterday I bought a light bulb "better" for 195p Energy Saving, came home twisted - it turned out to be very bright ))) I had to cut off a plastic bottle, wrap it in green toilet paper "Zewa" and make a cover ))))))))))) here :-D
YYY: here is the Russian smart nach ))))
zzz: as they say "wanted as best-goed as always"))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №6039
 28.05.2008
Lord Yan
If the eggs were multiplied by division, and divided 1 time a day, then:
Today - 1 square
Tomorrow, two of them
Tomorrow afternoon – 4 squares
Three days later, eight
...
28 days later - 268435456 yards
Given that the average barrel has a length of 15 cm, we have:
L. ježikov = 15cm*268435456== 4026531840cm = 40265318,4 m = 40265 km
The length of the Earth’s equator is 2*Pi*6400 km = 40192 km.
From this, the conclusion is that in a month the eggs will be able to encircle the entire equator.
We count further:
after 29 days - 536870912 hailers
after 30 days - 1073741824 hailers
after 31 days - 2147483648 yards
...
after 55 days - 36028797018963968 yards
Assuming that in 1 square meter. It can accommodate ~50 seals (7x7),
We have:36028797018963968/50 = 720575940379279 square meters = 720575940 square kilometers.
The area of the globe = Pi*6400 km*6400 km = 514457600 km2.
In 55 days, the shells will cover the entire globe.
Hence the conclusion: do not let the eggs share!

TRESHH
Matthew is joking?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №6038
 28.05.2008
One night...
There is a ten, on the back of the glass the inscription SELL and phone number. The driver, apparently, was cool and decided to drive without showing turns. My friend immediately picked up that number.
Are you selling your car?
and yes.
Is there something broken in it?
Everything is OK and it works.
Which turns are you not showing?! to
Emm...
He was confused and dropped the phone.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №6037
 28.05.2008
<-(-NTK-)-Punk_Server> rally virus on paper to write) so that whoever read died
<-(-NTK-)-Punk_Server> Kstate Rial is a Houthi like that.. do not die, but it becomes like a hook
<void> the lyrics of the songs of Timati?

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