I took my son from the garden. We walk down the street, talk about life, the weather is great, suddenly he asks:
When will I go to the military?

I did not expect this from a six-year-old boy.

“You’re still early, in twelve years, I say.
And you when?
I am old, I don’t need the military for a long time. Why did you talk about this topic?

It turns out, in the garden five boys play in the military: Andrei, Artem, Sasha, Kolya and my Anton. Kolya, such a roasted and pink boy, they call Batyaja Kombat. There is also a captain, a soldier, a sergeant and a wagon driver. Anton is a soldier.

“Dad, take me to the military now. I just want to see.

I agreed, only said, tomorrow, today is too late.

At eight in the morning, Anton was already standing at our bed.

- The military committee is still closed, early, - I broke out.

The son got the phone, showed the schedule of work of this institution - from half nine. I took a breath and went for breakfast. My son looked at the clock.

At nine they went out. Ten minutes by bus, a few minutes on foot, and here he is, the military commissariat of our district. Anton worried: he is the first of all kindergartens to visit the actual military command, the boys will be jealous!

Go to the main entrance. On the first floor crowded young guys, the call in the midst.

A young woman in a white coat and a mask was sitting at a brown table, looking at us with amazement. I sent Anton to look at the pictures on the wall, whispering to explain the situation.

To my surprise, the woman did not get angry, asked her son's name, said a few words to another employee. Then he turned to the boy:
“Let’s go, Anton, I’ll show you one interesting place.

I took him by the hand and went to the second floor. She talked about service, tanks, soldiers. My son listened with great enthusiasm.

And here we stood in front of the big door. Behind it is an act hall, red chairs, a tribune, a flag. We went to the tribune, Anton looked at everything with great interest, touched. The door opened, a woman looked into the room, told something to our storyteller, smiled at the boy and waved her hand.

The woman who accompanied us spoke to her son:
“Anton, on behalf of the entire military commissariat, allow me to hand you a certificate as the youngest and most determined soldier in our city.

And she proceeded to him a beautiful form indicating his surname and name, as well as a small flag of the Russian Federation and a small poster with a calendar that depicts the building of the military committee.

The child was entirely delighted. We thanked the officer, the son touched my sleeve and asked:
Dad, take a picture of me here.

Using the opportunity, I want to say to you, Regina Igorovna, a huge thank you for the positive emotions given to us and our son.

From the letter of Alexey,
Mr Chelyabinsk

The oculist’s office.
What letter?
and me.
There is no letter “me”. There is the letter “am”. Do you understand? What letter is that?
and no.
What kind of “no”? “Ann,” you know, “Ann!” What letter is that?
...........
Why are you silent? Do not see?
I see.
So you say!
The ep?

Almost all non-partisan candidates in the State Duma elections are candidates from United Russia, but they carefully hide this from their voters.

Many years have passed away from my knowledge of Ictoopia. Ppiexaal in ix ceme in Gothi Swedish. Pcle ocмотpa wcex doctoppimecatelnoctsy, ppiexaeli they wcecte na dacy and went gylet in lec. B. Somebody is swedish, raises c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. c. Emy finds out that nikaxi containers in lecy net. Then he gives up, whoever drinks, me personally, powerfully ordered, as our civilization is far from the dpyg of dpyg. He cpppocil: "A why do we say this in the lec, ecli net containepa?"

Sochians have asked Russians not to come to this resort city by personal transport. And in general: according to the locals, it would be better if the Russians did not come to Sochi at all, but simply sent money.

After the morning run there is a feeling that nothing worse can happen to you today. I think that is the meaning.



yyy: You people's brain is arranged so that it seeks to bring the body to maximum balance - homeostasis))) To feel well you did nothing, saved strength and accidentally did not harm yourself. Therefore, your brain does not approve of running and physical exercise. But you can trick a little and put into the run element of the game. Imagine yourself as a flight hero. The deceived brain will give you adrenaline and more endorphins to this enterprise if you can escape and the brain will be saved.

Tell me what your goal is and I’ll tell you whose target you are.

The story of the checker in Russia, taken from Picabus:

Depending on what kind of check. If the working conditions are checked - then the teaspoon is placed in a visible place, the microwave, single-use dishes are obtained from the warehouse. Everywhere they put additional lamps, twisted lamps, allowed to turn on the air conditioner. And if firefighters come - everything is hidden, tea on this day can not be drunk, warm food in the sun. If Rospotrebnadzor comes - all entrances and exits are decorated with filter barriers, with tables, antiseptics, gloves-masks-bakhils, registration journals and other shit. If firefighters come - all this is hidden, as the entrances and exits must be free. If security guards come - everything should be closed, roofs stand, locks hang, keys in the safe and the alarm is turned on. Counter-terrorism security from the Ministry of Internal Affairs requires that the backup outputs be locked, while opening them with the anti-panic pen is prohibited. The conspirators can enter. If suddenly the firefighters returned again - the roofs are urgently opened, the doors are opened, the keys are open. In short, these firefighters are very stressful.
What if they all came right away?
The inspectors are loose. They have to come with the inspection comprehensively, all in one day and hour. A single day of voting. The fines are enough for everyone. And the stick for the work done will be put, and the treasury will be filled, and in the pocket will be taken thanks. The fines at the lower threshold were issued.

If all Palestinians are relocated to the Jewish Autonomous Region, they can fulfill their centuries-old dream of living on Jewish land without Jews.

XX: Worked a lot where, sometimes not for a long time. Sometimes not very long. One of cases.



I became an accountant. On my first day the dismissed accountant began to hand over things to me, on my second day she was no longer out, though she had to work a few more days. She did not respond to phone calls. Part of the case remains unsolved. The head of the company spoke to me for a long time, and then ordered me to go to the staff department, take the address of that accountant, go to her home and pull her hand to work so that she could complete the business.



I went to the personnel department, picked up the papers and went home.

The President gave instructions to speed up the consideration of bills on criminal liability for justification of democracy and calls for justice.

A couple of weeks ago I hired a developer from the depth. Call him on his cell phone:
– Yes...
- Girl, you didn't get there, we don't repair computers.
Of course, I can repair Windows, but...
How much does it cost...? and 25 thousand!
I will soon.
He turns off his cell phone and starts going somewhere. Then he slowly cried out:
- Fuck Moscow... I specifically said 25 to get rid of it.

Adult life is watching a medium-sized screen all day to come home in the evening and reward yourself by watching a large screen, periodically distracting yourself to a small screen.

Xxx: My husband has a very tough character. He is always dissatisfied with everyone, criticizes everyone, struggles with everything.

Sellers, taxi drivers, cassiers, neighbors, partners at work are very difficult to deal with.

My husband and I recently went to the market. He is usually accepted to criticize all the goods from every seller from whom we buy something. I try as much as I can to tame his words.

We approach the apple store. The husband begins to look at each apple and makes a verdict to the sellers: "Your apples cannot be bought. They have some chemistry. There is no apple. If the worm doesn’t eat, then it’s a bad apple.”

The sellers – two cheerful old aunts – shout in response: “It’s not true! We weigh you how many apples you want, man. There is a separate bag with them. How many kilos do you have?”

The husband is confused, the apple from a separate bag for some reason does not want and falls down at sunset.



Yyy: Pipet with such a living...

A sunny, hot summer day. My husband and I walk out of the park on a long, well-maintained sidewalk. I am pregnant with my first child and will be giving birth in a month.

Do you know these beautiful pregnant women, whose stomachs are sweetly rounded over time, and they, beautiful, crack to the very birth, causing the affection of others? It was not about me. I rounded up. I grew up where I shouldn’t. Nose of potatoes, +2 feet size, cheeks, which was visible even from the back of the neck.

The mood was just at zero. One fat penguin, who falls from foot to foot, hates everyone around, constantly eats tomatoes and smells of tiled glue.

From the store came a young mom with a wheelchair and was right in front of us. She probably belonged to the first type of woman, because her figure was the most juicy. At least from behind. She spoke on the phone and walked very swiftly, and I unwittingly looked at her beautiful pop and long, slim legs.

I remembered that my husband was next door. He sees it too! And he sees me, such a thin, enormous penguin.

I turn my head to see if my husband is still looking.

You know this phenomenon, when you go with a man, before you appears some busty blonde, and the man begins to actively watch on his legs, count the fanary columns, look into the horizon - anything, only to accidentally not look and not face the angry look of his half?

Well, I even looked very much. Directly watched. And even what I watched him, I looked at him in focus, did not bother him at all! I was a little discouraged by such a sincere behavior and asked, “What, do you like?” He looked at me and thoughtfully replied, “Well, nothing like that.”

In this place my world collapsed. Everything is gathered together. Hormonal leaps, caffeine deficiency, this nocturnal heartburn, terrifying pain throughout the body and an extremely sick husband. I just wanted to get the baby out of my stomach and get it in my husband. To make it he was so fat and unhappy, and I went and watched the pumped beauties. I wanted to jump on him from behind and squeeze his eyes so that he would never see any female ass again.

But I took a breath, gathered up, and with a slightly trembling voice said, “Well, come then, why are you going here with me?”

And you know what? He really accelerated the step and caught her. The girl felt his approach and questioningly looked at him, removing the phone from the ear.

“Sorry, my wife and I looked at your wheelchair. Comfortable as well, right? We have not yet chosen which one to buy. Is it normal in winter? Easy to make? Does it fit in the luggage?”

...

We talked about the car all the time.

Relatively close to the village where I worked at the school, there was a special regime zone. At that time there were about two and a half thousand dangerous prisoners. There was an evening school in the area where several teachers from our school worked. Someone invited me too. After thinking well, I agreed, although, of course, I was panically afraid. I collected the necessary documents, which I then carefully checked, filled out a bunch of questionnaires. Before the first trip to the area of the house, all relatives and acquaintances who had at least some connection to the prison gathered. I received hundreds of advice: how to behave and how not to. It was strictly forbidden to wear red clothes. Here is the first visit. Teachers were searched, all phones and jewelry, except the engagement rings, were taken. The last instruction, and I am inside.

And immediately it was as if it had fallen into another world: and the sun is something different, and the sky and the air. Two guards accompany us to the club, where there is an equipped class. Two guards meet in the class. Students - 25 people, on the floor - a dirt line, which I am strictly forbidden to cross.

The geography class has begun. Students look with curiosity, though cautiously. By the way, most of them turned out to be friendly – and worked actively, and the homework was done on time. And the maps were better drawn than atlas! Among them stands out, as I understand, an authority by the nickname of Grey. As I learned later, Grey was charged with a double murder. In general, my new caregivers called each other exclusively by nicknames: Proshmira, Kurdyuk, Afonka, Ryabai, Zhban Žbanych... (what I remembered). As I learned later, they called me Lady, and in class – Antonovna.

Gradually I got into that atmosphere. Classes were twice a week. Thus passed two months. All according to the established order: search, two accompanying to the class, two - during the lesson. And here somehow I go into the classroom, I write on the board a topic: Brazil, I start the survey, and then a student from the first part says:

– Olga Antonovna, and where is your guard?

I looked into the corner where my bodyguards were always sitting, and thought: there was no one. I am alone in the class. and twenty five zecks.

I have never been so scared in my life.

I don’t know, I say. But that doesn’t matter. Continuing the lesson. So Brazil...

Then another student interrupted me and said:

- We know, we know, the homeland of the wild monkeys, - with these words he came out of the parta and crossed the dirt line, - let me show you.

In a few moments, the whole career of a geography teacher flew before my eyes. Despite the working air conditioner, I covered later. The feet trembled.

He saved me gray.

“Sit down, Proshmyra,” he said loudly. You are in class.

After hesitating, he returned.

I took a breath and continued the lesson. Five minutes before the end, the entire headquarters of the area broke into the classroom. Having seen me alive and unharmed, the face of their chief reflected the expression of relief and joy ofining his position.

The rest of the lesson was spent with us.

As I left the class, I turned to Seven and said, “Thank you, Grisha.” The gray shakes.

My hysteria began at the guard. The next day, all four guards were fired.

I finished until the end of the school year. To say goodbye, the head of the area handed me a gift from the students (which was strictly forbidden) – my portrait of copper wire. Awesome thing

I once shaved myself very short, and the cats didn’t recognize me. Apparently, she went into the apartment, went to the refrigerator to unload the foods, and they froze as roasted, the eyes of five copies, the nines can not understand - comes some left-handed aunt, and climbs in their refrigerator. Then when I spoke, the cat, with a complaining quick whisper, jumped on my arms, licking my hair, thinking I was hurt, probably)

To scratch money with a scratch, one scratch is not enough, money is also needed.

A woman who works at the factory came to us today. She had to solve two issues:
1st Find out if there is a vacancy for her son, who defends his diploma in the summer, at the KB of programmers.
2nd Wouldn't any of the programmers write a program for this son's diploma, or he can't.

Middle Ages Crisis: Children have grown up and you are not.