bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №64812
 28.05.2012
I roll on the couch, lining the old Playboy number.
XXX: What do you think? Will e-books remove magazines from the shops?
xxx: I still prefer a magazine in the flesh, sheet pages to breathe their smell
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY But I’t smell Playboy last year. You will pick up something.

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64811
 28.05.2012
Comments on Adobe AIR in Google Play:

The unit’s leg stuck in the orc’s shoulder! What to do?
A great toy, especially on the Galaxy Note screen! The label had to be sought, but good people suggested where it lies. Please help! On the 16th level, my dwarf's leg was stuck in the orc's ass when it hit, the orc now doesn't see the dwarf and walks along the mushroom field, the dwarf is forced to jump to pull after him from behind on one leg. How to pull the foot?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №64810
 28.05.2012
Conversation with Grandma:
Will you eat?
No, I am not hungry.
Why is?
I ate in the universe.
Warm up the soup?
No, thank you
What about cakes with grass?
No, I am not hungry.
Out of the door, maybe a sandwich?
you refuse the last time and eventually still sit with an apple (pear, banana, nuts, who like)

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №64809
 28.05.2012
Talk to a blonde:
I: How is it?
See also: Hrenova
I : Why?
She: Yes, there’s one guy here, so I want us to meet him and he wants to, too, but he sometimes behaves so that I’m interested in him.
I: Clearly
What should I do from your point of view?
I: meet me
She: Fuck, I’m saying that I’m behaving so that I’m interested!! to
I: Do not meet.
She says: I want to! What should I do?
I: Do not meet.
She: And I want it!
I: meet up
She: I don’t like his behavior!
I: There is no third option.
She: Which one?
I: The third one!! to
She is: boy?
I: The option to bluff!! to
She: “Which one?”? to
I: Any other option except the first or the second!! Understood?? to
She: What is the first? And what second?
She: And which three?
The first is to meet. The second is not meeting. There is no third!!! to
She is a fool (

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №64808
 28.05.2012
ArhiDavid: There was a case. I go to the subway and see a girl reading the newspaper. I looked at what article she was reading.
"The 5 most funny drunk runs: 1 place - stolen a penguin from the zoo." I immediately, the first thought: "Linuxoids..."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64807
 28.05.2012
KingJulienXIII>>> After the loss of the Buranov grandmothers, retirees organized pogroms: they broke the benches at the entrances, broke the pharmacy windows and stole the corvalol.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №64806
 28.05.2012
If we say to our woman, “You are so beautiful with me,” she will answer, “You are mocking me again, shit!”

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №64805
 28.05.2012
<Lucid_Lynx> by the way, I was here recently at the amusement park at Krestovsky
Lucid_Lynx and I thought that if I were a maniac, I would build a park.
<Lucid_Lynx> just there such a gorgeous picture was: played classical music, was heard the scream of mechanisms and the screams of people...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №64804
 28.05.2012
The Russian TV channel compared the Rada (the council of deputies in Hohland) with an Irish pub.

PC as well! How can a sacred drinking facility be compared to bread?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64803
 28.05.2012
The man looks out the window:
The bird sits on the antenna.
What is?
A whore of something.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №64802
 28.05.2012
Oh my dream today!

I was riding a scooter somewhere.
Before refuelling, I have a scooter, and I think "Blondine fucking, on the light from the fourth transmission touched"(on the scooter I have 4 transmission, it turns out)
Nothing to do, have to push the scooter to refuelling, there A92 will be refuelled (will be refuelled if it stung due to the non-existent transmission?)
On the way I meet a family couple who asks me where the baths are here (subconscious, what are you doing at all?)
We are three friends. I leave a pair in the cafe, saying that I buy a cooked cake, I said, then I will come, eat it dumb and greedy, and then quickly move toward the bus station (!Because I’m on the train!Yes, from the bus station on the train. With a scooter. Which stung because I forgot to switch the light on the neutral. We need to fill up gasoline. Eat a swallow. Problems with the brain?
But! This is not surrealism!
I will approach the driver, pull out my home table, pull off his leg, and ask him to put the chair down for ten rubles.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №64801
 28.05.2012
>> – Do you make it cheaper?
We say – Well... For $25...?... They say we can... – And for 20...? – And for 15...? – And for 10...?
We can...
As a result, without any agreement and clarification, our engineer received a batch of single-use, almost luminous bearings...This is what I understand trolling...

>> They would read the classics of children’s literature in childhood – they’t grow up fools:
by S.V. Mikhalkov The Warthan (Armenian Fairy Tale)

With a sheep’s skin, the neighbor came to the shell:
Can you wear this hat or not?
I can! He said in response, looking at the skin.
Will there be two? Asked Warthan, on the curtains seated.
And two socks.
And three?
And three!
Do you make four?
and yes!
And the five?
Well, I can have five, this role is needed!
Could you take out all six?
I can, if I have to!
Where there are six, there are seven. Warthan said.
It is going! said the shrimp.
When the employer came after the day for the hats,
Seven hats put a bowl on their desk.
Is this my order? I shouted in the hearts of Warthan. – is
When you cut my hat, you must have been drunk.
What should I do with them now? Where will you order?
None of them can be put on the head.
But you wanted it yourself! He said in response. – is
Seven large hats of a sheep cannot be cut off.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №64800
 28.05.2012
A successful comparison is like a priest: he does not prove anything, but can make a lot of fun.

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64799
 28.05.2012
For six months I was worried about how Sherlock survived. I revised Reichenbach hundreds of times, read other people’s versions, built my own... Until two weeks ago, a much more complex, almost insoluble question arose before me...

How do I take the exams???? to

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №64798
 27.05.2012
More than a year ago, someone joked that for Eurovision from Russia you need to send gas, oil and babies immediately. Again not fully understood.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №64797
 27.05.2012
Conversation between two children 5-6 years old:
Shall we go to the hospital?
Let it
Is it an ambulance?
- Yes
Please take Katie.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №64796
 27.05.2012
Xxx: Our English teacher – a 70 year old grandmother – liked to move the middle finger in front of the faces of the students (i.e. In front of our faces) and shout loudly: "Are you understanding?"

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №64795
 27.05.2012
Commentary on Lordi’s performance at Eurovision:

Maxim Zharkovsky
The animal on the keys looks like my ex-wife -))
12 May 2012 at 23:17

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №64794
 27.05.2012
Differences in Mentality:
The "Zippo" light bulb got its name because Americans hear the sound of opening-closing the lid. We would have called it "Bzdynyklats", most likely.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №64793
 27.05.2012

"Buranov grandmothers" - in my opinion, we haven't trolled Europe so long ago

and.


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