A friend working in M-Video, told this story:
A 50-year-old man comes to them and a new consultant approaches him:
Hi, can I help you?
I need a cupcake to make it.
What kind of tea?
To be smashed!
The consultant goes astonished and, laughing, calls the seller more experienced.
Hi, can I help you?
I need a cupcake to make it!
Sorry, we probably don’t have such cupcakes.
How not?
- Wait, now I will call our chief adviser.
The rust is already rising among consultants, everyone looks at the man as a madman.
My friend suits.
Hi, can I help you?
Tea, fuck me, let me go!
Maybe you need an electric brush?
The fucking! Are you all here, stupid?! to
He takes a pen and writes on a sheet of paper: “Tea under Metal!”

Someone will explain: why did our bikers ride motorcycles on the route Iraq-Iran-Afghanistan, if there are tanks that are scary to ride?

Bravin: Just we have different concepts about using our member.
KOrsar45: Probably yes. I think they need to have sex. And you're probably your own nuts, once such a brutal loneliness...

From Twitter:
Today, a fighter of the OMON spit on the eggs of a fallen demonstrator went to the hospital. He seriously injured his leg and is also claiming an apartment.

XX: Yes, he is generally a gentleman to the brain of the bone! I sat with him yesterday, he was looking up at the floor. He looks, looks, stands up and says, I want cucumbers, I go and buy them! So, let’s take the tomato right away. He is gone, we sit and wait for him. After 20 minutes, this fool comes and has the seeds of cucumbers and tomatoes in his hands! Isn’t he a fool?

Comment on YouTube under the video, where the girls are very expressively dancing a dance in the style of Go-Go (club dances):

They tremble like in a seizure. Apparently the choreographer is an encephalitic tick.

Lena and Knee are two mega-epic dogs. They argue about which of them loves the other.

The further our reforms go, the more I consider ‘Metro 2033’ and ‘Maroder’ to be instructions for survival. The cat shredder.

About the man (Himeyer), who built a tank bulldozer and broke half a city:

The suicide of a schoolchild - everyone laughs, the suicide of humanity - everyone smiles, the suicide of a technician - all collapses with bricks.

Delimark: She has such elegant, soft, lush, long...
BeaTreaT: The Breast? →? to

Keyller: Today I have a romantic night: I’m meeting dawn with my classmate. I hope she is satisfied.

I read my brother’s diploma.
"By entering into an economic relationship with an unknown supplier, the enterprise is exposed to a certain risk."

Mom realized I was in shit, not when I was brought home at night.
xxx: Mom understood this when I immediately went to prepare for the EGE.
XXX: What’s wrong with me?! to

L. Heitz: Ir
Heitz: I have determined
L. Heitz: Ignorance has three stages
L.Heitz: 1 "I don’t know myself"
L. Heitz: 2 "There is no Wikipedia"
L. Heitz: and critical
L.Heitz: 3 "Seeked, googled, not found"

The guy I like will call the house with his friends to sit down, drink a beer (don’t think of anything nasty!I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, but I still want to go there.

Fuck, is it okay that you’re playing? Boochie boys hang on the cottage, and they call you to come to them alone, hang up and drink. You will come, there I am sure, there is a fun friendly atmosphere, and they just sat down, played the monopoly, had fun, and here are such: "Let's call Natashka, she is such a fun girl and knows so many cool funny stories. Fuck, she is a true friend and companion to all of us, and they also say that she plays a good monopoly. Everyone decided to call you. You will come, you will play monopoly, you will tell anecdotes, then the guys will go out and take you to a taxi and you will go home. And then on Twitter you will write how you played the monopoly together... Just don’t forget the photo. You can take pictures at the table.

HHH: Today I had an awareness again!
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz What else?
Q: What is the symbol of gay?
ZZZ: How do I know? Telephone of some sort. The violet :)
I think they fit the ethylene molecule. SN2 is SN2.
See: two identical atoms (C) and a double homogeneous bond between them! How is it, right?! to
ZZZ: Are the ash-2 eggs? and :)
Ohhhh... exactly! Or the breasts! The main thing is that they are the same on both sides.
zzz: hey... ethylene and guys ))

You are eating fast food :(
YYY: It's not fast food, but meat :) Since I bought a chicken in Rostix, it hasn't stopped being chicken ;)
XXX: It’s stopped, now it’s chicken

XXX: I am waiting for the bus today, there is a breakdown. I am going, I mean, I am coming to my stop, and instead of a button there some healthy lady, I click on her, and it turned out to be some hollow hole, I barely stopped!!! A hole in the bus, and all over the salon?!! O O O?
YYY: You know, bro... :)

and shurik:
Students yesterday
by froggy82
Was it blue?
and shurik:
One in which.
They carried it in their hands.
Then the guy tired.
and shurik:
on asphalt

Tea is not vodka: you don’t drink much.
BBB: Oh, and the cake is not the pelmeni: you don’t eat much!