The story of a road policeman from Minnesota.
Once I stopped an elderly lady for excess speed on Route 210, 197 miles east of McGregor, Minnesota.
He asked to present rights, registration and insurance. My wife gave me the documents.
I was somewhat surprised (given her solid age) to find a license for hidden weapons among the documents, and asked if she was armed at the moment.
The lady replied that yes, she had a.45 caliber gun in her armor.
Something prompted me to ask if she had any other weapons besides the one mentioned. She said that yes, she has a 9mm Glock in the central console. I asked, “Is that all?” No, she said, there is still.38 in her bag. I asked why she was so afraid.
The lady looked at me and said, “I’m not scared.”

The Pentagon. Obama and the generals are discussing when it is best to attack Russia. They can’t agree when it’s best to do it to win.
Ask those who have already attacked. They ask the French, “When is it better to attack?”
The French replied, “We don’t know, but not in winter...” Then they asked the Germans, “When to attack?” The Germans say, “We don’t know, but not in the summer.”
and stupid. What to do? Someone suggests - Let's ask the Chinese, they are the most advanced and clever, always come up with something...
They ask, “Chinese, when will we attack Russia to win?”
The Chinese replied, “Right now, immediately. The Russians are now building the "Power of Siberia" and "Turkish Stream", the cosmodrome East is being completed, the bridge to Crimea will soon begin, the BAM decided to rebuild, the stadiums new to the 2018 World Cup in football are being built, the Arctic is being mastered - they need pipet as prisoners!"

And my easily swallowed from sex: "You made me a comment / you looked badly / you are evil today - and I missed all desire!" Well evil, what is the problem at work, and what is the sex?? to
Let me go, I will have fun!
No it is! You didn’t make me feel!
and I! I am ready with all my soul!
I was not in the mood and closed the topic.
And so always!
I got a lover and I don’t think I’m guilty. But his eyes always shine when he sees me, he is happy to see me, and always ready! Apparently, when husbands run to the left, their wives also turn away from sex.

Katya studied with me at school. In appearance - a true angel with blue eyes and a white-coloured steep thickness in the hand, inside - a complete debris.

Shortly before our Last Call, a scandal broke out in the school: Katyusha, a friend and several boys were caught in a game of dressing cards. Dear teachers, they catch their hearts, they drink a corvalol, an emergency council, to which our whole class is called for some reason.

Our cool father's leader with his angry cheeks begins a pathetic speech that she, to say, at our age didn't know at all how men differ from women, and here...

Katyusha, who has long known this not only in theory, but also in practice, replied with one phrase:

-Galina Ivanovna, this is in the textbook for the ninth class described, you did, biology walked?

The pedagogical moment was devastating.

In the winter (very nuclear, as the locals said) in Chicago is enough for a summer Peter's jacket on a T-shirt, checked.

Uzbekistan, a small town in thirty kilometers from Tashkent, the beginning of the nineties.January month +5 degrees Celsius, but all the locals walk blue and swear: "Twentieth years such a roar was not!!!and "

Russia in a dialogue.
The passport please.
Does anyone else need my baggage?
I don’t think I just need your passport.

Judging by the latest news, soon the "winners of the Darwin Prize as a prize will begin to issue selfie sticks.

YYU: By the edge of my ear, I heard the watchgirl boast to the guard that her granddaughter had gone to the watch school. I did not immediately understand what I heard.

Mom just started buying new shoes.
I do not want shoes.
Mom quietly, under your nose "you’re anything at all..."
I ask "interesting?"
"I have not been able to..."

In my opinion, sweet?
I heard from boys that "the cakes need those whose pockets are not empty", and now I always carry a piece of sausage in my pocket.

Shoigu said that in connection with recent events, a decision was made on the creation in the Russian Armed Forces of special forces of Schrödinger.

Yesterday, two calas and a bunch of ash tried to make a successful selfie on high-voltage wires.

here here :
Therefore, in the overwhelming majority of people, the smell and appearance of any stool (including the stools of even their own children and loved ones) causes resentment.

Man thank you! seriously. It is nice to know that someone understands you.
Sorry for not being funny, it just hurt. A sharp sense of smell, not killed even by cigarettes. I love and do it with pleasure, I ask only one thing - wash it before you put it in my mouth. The urine, especially unfresh, does not arouse! Am I a demanding beard with stupid thumbnails? Otherwise, how can I explain that the man who has been sleeping with me for almost a year still wants to forget about my request or lies that I washed, washed honestly?

xxx: We were expelled at work one such a week-sitting at home "at the hospital"; this miracle came to my mind to post photos from the sea))))

If in the Russian Empire there were corruption and problems with the "roll", if in the USSR there were corruption and problems by the government, if now they are - maybe the problem is in the people? Three sets are a problem. Because people want to work less and earn more, everyone who has at least some power takes advantage of their position. It is the root of all our problems.

Catherine: We sit here, with my one, he says to me here:
You are a girl of easy behavior.
I have revised all my moral principles concerning pacifism. Who has life in front of me, and I have a criminal code. But here, the unexpected, decided to add:
It is easy to communicate with you.

Children's Cross March will be held for the first time in Krasnoyarsk

Maxim: Announce the Crusade, children

(This is happening in Peter)
Sandra: 4 o’clock at night, I sit deeply on my ears at work. Apartment in Dubai. I take my phone to watch the degrees jump on board. The widget is updated and shows me a bright blue sky and sunshine... I think: but, guy, what a sunshine, you have gone there, a deep night of life.
I turn my face to the window and I realize who of us has cheated with him.

He asked the country of manufacture, I said that Spain. He looked at the package and asked:
Is Romania in Spain?

Absolutely normal response to trying to hire with a producer country.

Walked around the store, went to the kindergarten, bought a hat for the child. One came in, notice, in the whole shop alone.
The seller pierces and puts the hat in the bag. The further dialogue:
I don’t need a package (that’s how I care about the environment)
Do you dress right away?
- (I stand alone, I repeat) Of course, the rain started on the street, so I decided to buy a hat. (I am smiling wide)
The dealer with a poker face cuts the price card with scissors and gives me a hat.
I pull my hat as far as I can and go out of the store.
You could see her face!!! to
Don’t be ashamed, my friends!! Life is too short to live boring ?