bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №141390
 17.05.2017
XXX: Looking back at WALL-E, I realized something.
xxx: All the problems from the fact that the captain forgot to give an admin from the steering wheel

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141389
 17.05.2017
12:25 _IOJIbKA_ » Ovcepes: Are you from Omsk?
12:25 OVCEPEO » _IOJIbKA_: God has mercy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №141388
 17.05.2017
XXX: I wait for a taxi, knocking out on the street near the parking lot. The guard suits. He says: I need your advice, you are working in Tanks. I say OK. He carries the head of a wool with horns (real horns) cut out of a tree and asks if another layer of lacquer should cover the tree.
xxx: I am a respected person)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141387
 17.05.2017
Yesterday watched a picture of a young girl (23-25 years old) leading the hand of a six-year-old girl, who is crying very loudly, the girl on a T-shirt adopted "enjoy the silence"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141386
 17.05.2017
A 9,000-year-old artifact was found in Israel.

It was a 9,000-year-old local resident Solomon Markovich Zilberstein. "Do not wait" and c)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141385
 17.05.2017
HH: How is it?
Two tickets left, and that’s all.
HHH: And then what?
And then I go to sleep.
HH: And then what?
WOW: And then I will sleep.
HH: And then what?
Then I wake up. To tell further?
HH: Probably not. Interesting, you have a life.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141384
 17.05.2017
by Luckystar
When I eat a crochet with cream popularly, I begin to bite it off from the wide side. But when alone with you, then you can allow yourself to eat it, as if exhausting, and, almost exhausted, finally taste the whole cream at once. You can also scratch the cream with a spoonful, you can try to dry it... you can bite it in the middle, you can cut it in half... Darrell in one book had a story about the scratch, each of which ate a banana in its own way. One threw a peel and ate a banana, a third ate a banana with a peel... the question of the scalp is not so simple. It needs discussion.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №141383
 17.05.2017
Whose epic power
Has my daughter awakened?
Who walked in the darkness of night,
Eating the wheat?

Who walked over me in the night,
On the walls and on the closets?
Whose powerful
Did you wake me up at five in the morning?

Whoever pulled his tail,
Did you bring me a chair?
Who is unwashed
Was it my and my mom’s bite?

Whose shorts
Equal on all sides.
They stand in a blatant shame.
between me and the monitor.and :-)

Drinking from the toilet.
Eaten the flowers from the vase.
Who sits on the balcony
A field like a horse?

Cat, you are wrong now!
You wiped out your terrible bite!
What an unclean force.
Have you bitten my hand?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141382
 17.05.2017
Slavery is not forced labor. Slavery is the total alienation of man from all rights, including the right to life, which passes to the slave owner. Forced labour is not associated with the alienation of rights, except for some. It can be paid (soldat's salary), conditionally paid (symbolic salary of prisoners), free (compulsory work by court sentence). And fans generalize and MMORPG = addiction.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №141381
 16.05.2017
and all! I calculated the mortgage. I have no credit. Fighting what? In the memory.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141380
 16.05.2017
15 years ago I drove some muddy train to Peter, there was an unnecessary empty coupe car in the composition (they were driven from the train to the train, I don't know the subtleties), well, it was sold by dirty conductors along the way of the place ("pay a little and you will already go in the coupe together"). My friend and I went to work, and we had only a couple of beer with us. In the “pirate” car, the conductor (also aged 45-48) quickly arranged vodka and a small snack. Of course, with a price, but not very high. After a kind conversation, she even allowed to smoke inside the coupe (in the window). Whether it was the first or the last, I don’t remember. Probably the last. Well, we go for fun, the guide with us a beer drunk, and says - well, say, boys like kings you go, thanks to me? And we are like that, well, with some irony, "yes, chic-glitter, if there were more girls here more fun." “Well well! I know,” he said and left. We cried, but did not take it seriously. After 20 minutes, she returns and says, "That's happened, but I can be a girl.

Our response is: * And the aunt is such, not to chew, but scary - with golden fixes, well, it is clear by speech that from the north, or even sitting in her youth.

I say no, thank you. You offended a short aunt, and then suddenly a child in a sports suit comes and hints that you can not smoke and complain about you.

Well, on the other hand, the two did not go to the bull, but they drove to Peter on the streets and just didn't sleep (the hell knows what a "mafia" in this cheerful brigade), hiding from the sin of values and listening sensibly to the steps in the corridor.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141379
 16.05.2017
Hackers stole new film Pirates of the Caribbean and demand a ransom from Disney
Do you have a movie?
Better is! I have a copy of the film!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №141378
 16.05.2017
Yuri was in excellent sports shape, though on the pulse she was no longer stuck.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141377
 16.05.2017
News from Dixon.
Yesterday there was a satellite communication channel in the village. Everyone ran, nervous: the mail does not leave, the video camera shows nothing, everything is gone! And most importantly, everything works: the modem blows the bulbs, there is money on the account, but there is no internet. Today everything became clear. Yesterday, the bulldozer cleaned the road and stormed the roof in front of the satellite antenna. Today the swarm moved - and everything went well again.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №141376
 16.05.2017
In the third grade for the new year was something like a mascara. My mom told me that she would bring a rabbit suit (not just a mask, but a straight suit). I said not to bring it, I don’t want to go in it. But Mommy still brought and forced her to dress.

All the children came dressed and wearing masks. And I am alone in a white rabbit suit with ears and tail. I immediately became a subject of ridicule.

I came home in a depressed mood. Mom asked what had happened. I didn’t want to talk, but I gave up under pressure. The next day, the mother went to school for a break-up, and raised a bowl "who dared to offend the son." In short, classmates had another reason to laugh "Mommy's son, knocker."

My mom was constantly running out for anything. So I stopped telling my mother what was happening to me. My mother was very angry and I was questioned every time.

Even now I rarely share with my mother. I can talk to others, but not to my mom. She’s offended by this, “Why do I learn about you from other people?” and. I already explained to her, but my mother immediately refused.

So when trying to control the life of the child, do not bend the rod.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141375
 16.05.2017
I bought my son a globe. Such a large - cm 50 in diameter. Then I only saw that there was no city in which we lived - Penze. I say the problem: there are no pens here. Let’s make a hole in its place. People will ask, what is this hole? And we say, “This is a penny!”! to

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141374
 16.05.2017
The former told a story. There was a young unmarried teacher at her school. She lived in the village and didn’t grieve until she was stolen from her back. Menti arrived, inspecting the crime site:

When was the time stolen?

Last night, two weeks ago.

Two weeks? What were you waiting for?

In the old new year it was...

It is an old custom to steal a cane from girls for extradition, and then to arrange a marriage and demand a ransom (bride) for a cane.

I thought I would get married...

Surprisingly, mint did not shake, but sympathetically knocked her on the shoulder and wrote something into the protocol.

I think it was the longest two weeks and the biggest disappointment.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141373
 16.05.2017
Commentary on the news about blocking VKontakte, Одноклассников and Yandex in Ukraine:

"Astrologists proclaim a 50% increase in productivity of Ukrainian office workers"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №141372
 16.05.2017
She has a serum of truth.
Strongly spoken by admin
We will find out what it is.
Why is it just

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141371
 16.05.2017
The online chat game.
Player: "Your lot "The powerful elixir of life" sold for 1 coin, the tax was 2 coins". There is corruption in O_O.

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